Growing up, I was the kind of person who found it difficult to approach a woman. While my peers could walk up to any woman on the street and propose love to her, I was too anxious to even say, “Hello” to a female. If a woman I liked happened to be in my circle, I wouldn’t have the courage to ask for her number, let alone ask her out. I am the type who would spend many months or even years, in the friend zone. If you ask me I would say, “I want to get to know her and build a connection with her before I shoot my shot.” By the time I get around to expressing my interest, the person would have met someone else.

People like me are likely to spend the rest of their lives single and craving for love. And I was sure I was going to end up alone. But fate had other plans for me. It all started when I went on a work trip to the Upper West Region of Ghana. My colleagues and I went to represent our organization at an annual get-together organized by the NADMO office. While I was there as a professional courtesy, my two colleagues had other plans. They told me, “Abdul, after this trip, you are leaving us to work for another organization. So we will find you a woman before this trip ends.” They said it was their parting gift to me.

After scouting the guests at the event, my driver picked out someone  he thought was a stunning lady from the crowd. He spoke to her and got her number for me. He asked me to call her but I refused. He insisted but I stood my ground. So he took matters into his own hands and made the call on my behalf. I don’t know what he said to the lady and I didn’t care enough to ask how the conversation went.

The next day, my driver suggested that we stop by her place and check up on her. I was already in the car so I agreed. When she came out to meet us she looked dishevelled. It was as if we had just woken her up from a nap. Honestly, I didn’t find her attractive. The picture my driver painted of her did not align with the woman I saw. So I decided to not even pursue her.

My search for love on that trip should have ended there but fate had its own way of turning things around. On our way back to Tamale, we stopped at the station in Damongo, a town known for its delicious gari and tapioca. As we stopped to buy some snacks, my driver was still determined to help me find a lady, so he asked me to look at the women hawking their wares and choose one. I just wanted to get him off my back so I pointed to a very beautiful seller and asked him to get her number for me.

To my surprise, she wasn’t so enthused about giving out her number to a strange man. However, my driver refused to leave without the number so she gave it to him. After that, we bought some gari and tapioca from her and continued our journey.

When I finally got around to calling her, I was pleasantly surprised to learn that she was a second-year student at KNUST pursuing a degree in Business Administration. I was even more impressed that she was a first-class student.

Despite her busy academic schedule, she found time to help her mother sell gari and tapioca during school breaks. I found her humility desirable. I saw her as someone ambitious and determined to do anything to achieve her goals. I was intrigued by her. So I engaged her in regular conversations. I wanted to know more about her but I realized that she was not as invested in our conversations as I was.

For over a year, we went back and forth, and even though she accepted my proposal, her attitude toward our phone conversations and Whatsapp chats left much to be desired. She would take days to respond to my texts, and her replies were often curt. I really liked her so I was confused and didn’t know what to do.

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At some point, I decided in an effort to protect myself, that I would keep certain parts about myself hidden from her. I didn’t tell her about my job, level of education, and dreams. I held on to those parts of myself just until she started revealing herself to me.

Thankfully, things changed in November 2022, when she visited her aunt in Accra. She seized the opportunity and also visited me. Finally, we had the chance to talk face-to-face, and we hit it off. The connection we were missing fell into place.

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After that meeting, she finally opened up to me about her fears. “I didn’t think you took me as your serious girlfriend. So I was afraid to allow myself to fully be with you. But I love you so now I have changed. I will do better, I promise.” I was happy to know how she felt about me.

I asked her to marry me and she said yes. Right now, my happiness knows no bounds. I hope this beautiful love story which started with a chance encounter over gari and tapioca, will lead us to the altar soon. People like me usually end up alone but she has changed my story. I will cherish this intelligent, well-mannered lady and pray that we’ll spend the rest of our lives together happily.

—Abdul  

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