It was around 8:00 PM when our lights went off. We didn’t have a torchlight so my mother sent me out to go and buy a candle for the house. That was the night I met Kay. I was nineteen and in SHS3, and he was older. My mother was very strict so I barely spoke to boys. Because of this, I was quite uncomfortable when Kay approached me. He introduced himself as a native of our town. Honestly, he looked familiar but I couldn’t pinpoint where I knew him from. “I live in Accra. I am only in town for holidays,” he said.

I was in a hurry to get home but he didn’t seem to care. He kept asking me questions that demanded essay-length answers. Before I finally left he asked me to be his girlfriend. It didn’t make sense to me. How can you meet someone at night and propose a romantic relationship to the person that very instant? I turned him down there and then. “Can we be friends then?” He asked. This time around I said yes, just so I could end the conversation and run home.

Three days after our encounter, I heard a knock on our door when I was home with my younger brother. I went out to check who it was, only to see Kay standing there. He had a cheesy smile plastered across his face. “I came to see you,” he announced. I panicked at the thought of what my mother would do if she was the one who opened the door instead of me. Fortunately for me, she wasn’t home. It would have rained hell if she was.

I didn’t want to take any chances so I asked Kay not to show up at our doorstep to look for me again. His response really got on my nerves. He said, “I have been thinking about you since the night I met you, so if you don’t come and see me I will be forced to come here to look for you anytime I feel like until I leave town.” Although he annoyed me, I was also terrified of my mother. So I asked him to show me his house so I could visit him.

He showed me his house but I didn’t go. Two days later, I was on my way to run errands for my sister when I ran into him. He was going to my house. When I saw how serious he was, I promised to visit him later that night. My mum had this friend she visited every night. So when she left that night I also headed to Kay’s place. We spoke for thirty minutes and I asked to leave. He wanted to see me off but I refused.

A day later he sent me a note through his friend. The message was simple; “I want to see you.” I waited for my mum to leave for her friend’s place, then I went to see him. He told me he would be leaving for Accra the next day and didn’t want to lose contact with me. So he handed over his Nokia 3310 to me. He then gave me a number I could reach him. My mum would lose her mind if she saw me with a phone so we agreed that I would call him when I was on campus. I was so thrilled to have my first phone.

He left the next day, and we kept in touch as planned. We kept talking on the phone until he returned in a month. I was on a mid-term break by then. He asked me to be his girlfriend again. I had grown fond of him then so I said yes. I gave him the “No sex before marriage” rule, and he agreed to it. From that day forward, our love grew bigger and better.

He would come to my school to visit me, and I would also sneak out to go and see him whenever he was in town. Six months into the relationship, I was with him when he pulled out a blade from his pocket. He asked me to do a blood covenant with him so that we would be together forever. I had heard a lot of bad stories about blood covenant so I refused to do it. He tried to persuade me but I stood my ground. So he came back with another request. “If you won’t do what I want then do something to prove your love for me. Let’s have shuperu.” I wasn’t ready to do that either.

I asked him to give me time to think about it but he wouldn’t let me breathe. He kept pushing me until I gave in to his demand. I felt if I didn’t do it I would lose him so I did it. When he found out he was my first, he promised to love me forever. Truly, our love grew very intense after the kind of intimacy we shared. I couldn’t even go for a day without hearing from him. He said he also felt the same way about me. I was certain that nothing would come between us.

Two weeks to my WASSCE, I decided to go home and take money to buy a few things for school. I happened to run into Kay’s friend when I alighted at the bus stop. He informed me that Kay was back from Accra. I was surprised because I spoke to him the previous night and he didn’t say anything about his visit to me. I wanted to see him so I took a detour and went to his house.

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When I got there I entered his room without knocking. I had the shock of my life that day. Kay was sitting with another woman’s head in his lap. The only thing I said was, “Sorry for interrupting you.” I was so heartbroken that I didn’t know the time I got home. I cried till I was sure I would die of heartache. My mom saw me crying and asked what the problem was. I responded, “It’s nothing. I just have a horrible headache.”

Later in the evening, I went to see Kay again. He was alone this time around. I sat beside him and asked him to explain to me what I saw in the morning. All he could tell me was, “AB, I can’t be with you anymore.” “Why? What did I do wrong? Whatever it is, I am sorry,” I said with tears running down my cheeks. He said I was a student and that he couldn’t wait around for me to complete school, go to the university, and get a job before we settle down. I didn’t want to accept his explanation. Love like ours doesn’t quench like that, you know. I called his friend to speak to him for me, but Kay refused to take me back.

In The End, I Had To Choose Between Three Men | Beads Media

In the end, I accepted the breakup and returned to school with my broken heart. I wrote my exams and failed two of my papers because I couldn’t concentrate properly. It was difficult but I gathered myself and moved to the city in search of better opportunities, and of course, love. I wanted to find love and live happily ever after. And with patience and determination, I found everything I was looking for.

I met a man who swept me off my feet and put a ring on my finger. Life was good for us in the beginning. But lately, my marriage has hit a few bumps and rough patches. It has been revealed to me that Kay is the one fighting my marriage spiritually. I am looking into it. I am asking questions but all I keep getting are more questions. It doesn’t make sense that a man who broke my heart is fighting my marriage. But I promise to bring you an update as soon as I get the answers I am looking for.

#MyFirstRelationship

—AB

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