He was lurking in the dark when we were dating. He called my girlfriend at odd hours and I saw it. I’m not the jealous kind so I didn’t ask questions, hoping one day, she herself would bring clarity to the issue. She never did. We went to a program and we met this man there. My girlfriend spent all the time with this man during the program. On our way home I asked her, “Who’s that man and why is he all around you? We came to a program together but you ignored me and stayed with him. What’s going on?”
She told me; “Oh Mr. Prosper? You’re jealous because of a married man with five kids? He’s just like a father to me. If my mom was here, she would have told the story better. He saw me when I was in JHS and took care of me until I completed university. Everyone in my house knows him. He’s like a family.”
I went to her house the first time and saw the man already seated with her mom. She went to hug the man before he introduced me to his mom and the man as her boyfriend. Her mom asked, “Must you do this in the presence of Prosper? You could have waited until he’s gone so one day we go to him and officially announced it to him.”
The man added, “Oh it’s OK. I’ve met them together before so I understand what’s going on.” The man got up, shook my hands and thanked me for being there for her. He told me the story of when my girlfriend was young and the sacrifices he made and asked me to take good care of her because she was the apple of his eye. I accepted the challenge and promised to do my best.
When we were doing our traditional marriage, the man was there. He sat at the family side of my wife. During our wedding, he was there. Again, he moved around with my wife’s family. During the reception, he gave us the biggest monetary contribution that day. I saw him as part of my wife’s family. Her dad was dead so I saw him as my wife’s father. Even her mom and siblings confirmed that Prosper was like a father to them
I built a closer bond with Prosper, seeing him as the family head of my wife. He himself told me I could confide in him on issues. I embraced him and gave him unrestricted access to my marriage. He would call my wife and ask her to talk to me. I would get the phone and we’ll spend several minutes talking and laughing like good men always do. When there was something I didn’t understand, I called to ask him for guidance.
I and my wife moved to another town after marriage. Everything in our previous town faded but the relationship we had with Prosper didn’t change. Two years after marriage, we went to a funeral in my wife’s hometown and Prosper was there. He was the only person I knew so I shared a seat with him and did everything with him. A woman said something that drew my attention. She said, “You’re doing very well moving up and down with a man who used to date your wife. You men don’t really care about things the way women do.”
I heard her very clearly but when I asked her to repeat what she just said, she realized I didn’t know about what she said so she retreated; “Oh I didn’t say that. I was only talking about how close you two are. I’m sorry.”
No man hears a thing like that and goes to sleep on it so I started my own investigations. I spoke to people who didn’t know me and they seemed to suggest what I heard was true. I spoke to her junior sister’s boyfriend and he told me his girlfriend has mentioned that to him at some point. I knew that guy. We come from the same town and speak the same language so it was easier.
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I asked my wife about it and hell broke loose. “What do you take me for? That I sleep around with everyone who had been kind to me? Prosper is married. He has five children. The first is almost my age. How can I date such a man? You went to a funeral or you went to investigate my past? What else did they tell you, huh? What else?”
It was supposed to be a friendly conversation but she turned it into a confrontation. Liars are like that. They think they have to overreact to make the truth look untruth but the truth is like energy. It can never be faked or destroyed. I had to apologize to her and move on to my next form of investigation.
I know her phone’s password but there are different passwords to her messaging apps so it was difficult to enter and read what was there. I tried all the combinations I knew but it didn’t work until one day I tracked the movement of her fingers and figured it out. Surprisingly, she had no chat history with Prosper so I read the messages between her and her sister, the one whose boyfriend comes from my hometown. They mentioned Prosper in their conversations a lot and at some point, her sister advised, “Leave Prosper alone before the truth comes out. He’s bad news to your marriage.”
My wife responded, “He knows him and they are even friends. He doesn’t suspect anything. If I cut Prosper off, I’ll miss a lot. He still pays.”
Her sister said, “He still pays because you still see him. He’s done his part. It should end here before it ends your marriage. Let him go. Give him space.”
So the next day, I called her sister and asked her to be honest with me. Of course, she didn’t. Even when I brought their messages into the conversation she told me she didn’t know what I was talking about. Right after talking to me, she called my wife. I saw my wife going out with the call. She came back asking me, “What did you say you read on my phone? And why didn’t you ask me but my sister?”
She denied the truth but I know so much to be fooled. I love her and it’s hard to think of what to do next. As I write this, I haven’t decided on anything and I’ve told her. All I want from her is to accept the truth and confess it so we deal with it together. I don’t want to bring third parties in as I don’t want others to know about our issue. After everything, if we don’t divorce, I wouldn’t know how to face these people I shared the issue with.
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I want to ask Prosper about it. He’s a man like me and I know if I approach him with calm he may be able to open up. We are too young to face such a thing in our marriage. We married early. She was twenty-six. I was twenty-seven. We have a long way to go and can’t do it with lies in our midst. Is it a good idea to meet Prosper? I don’t want to talk to her mother now because I can guess her stand.
I’m counting on Prosper to be a man. I’m believing he would tell the truth and give me the solid ground to make a decision. No, I’m not angry with Prosper. Yes, he’s part of the charade but I can only blame my wife because she allowed it and she’s the one who owes me fidelity. What do you think?
—Tim
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You are a Weak man,and the lady knows and Sees it.You are push-over and she clearly does not respect you in any way shape or form. Even her family takes you fo a fool. You had de chance to put her in her place on yo way home from the programme But yo kept quiet. Who will take a woman to a program to be ignored. Nxt, U saw the messages,YOU SAW MESSAGES,not as if Somebody Told you,YOU SAW IT.She was still doing it.Because “He still Pays” Your Wife is a Prostitute,aborting Another mans children. If you where a Man and After calling her sister,you return her to her Mothers house and give her Time period to confess or Divorse, Before you come here to write.If she Eventually Confess you divorce her,If she does not Confess You divorce her. You are a Man amd you should be the authority and dictate your relationship.
But Look at You,..U come here telling us u dont know what to do while yo woman will go out in the name of working to ride “Hes like a Father to me”
Don’t go to Prosper. Demand the truth from your wife cos all u have heard and read so far is the truth. You only have to force that truth from the woman you married, thus your wife.
I believe there’s no child or children yet in the marriage so if she refuse to open up, serve her divorce on grounds of infidelity.
The shock of divorce notice alone will push her to open up. If she does, you both mend things and move on. If she doesn’t, make sure you get the divorce.
Choose yourself first, man.
Best of luck.
Please tell her you are going to divorce her period. That alone will put fear in her. As for bringing in a third party that is not needed. She will come clean if she wants to save her marriage. But mind you telling her you will divorce her doesn’t mean you would. If after telling her so and she does not change my dear divorce . Don’t listen to any one. Your wife’s family chose her over you by not telling you the truth. Your wife is taking your leniency for granted and so is her family. If she doesn’t change my dear she will bring another man’s child for you to raise as yours. Mind you there are two types of liers. The one who admits it and works to change him or her self . And the other one is the one who will continuously lie even when being caught. Your wife is the latter. If you speak to her and she doesn’t listen my dear leave her. Don’t even think of taking her back because if you do you will leave it regret and even end of contracting STDS. But if she admits it then take it from there. You going to her lover for confrontation won’t change anything because you have seen for yourself the proof and have even heard it yourself. The rest is up to you. Don’t even think about the age factor by saying you married young. The question is at the end of the day is the marriage worth it and will you be able to forgive her and will you be happy in the marriage. You alone can determine where to go with the marriage. Be a man for once in your life but that does not mean you should walk over your wife and destroy things which out to stand because you are a man. Do things patiently, diligently and wisely. You have to play the role of a wise adult in order to get the truth out of your wife because she is behaving like a child caught doing something bad but won’t admit it. So you have to you sweet words and tactics to get her. From there do what you know is right. You alone can decide what best for you. It’s time to organise your things accordingly to how you want things to be. Some of us are wise some are not .But I hope you are the former. Don’t let nobody push you over and control you. GOOD LUCK.
Tim, first of all don’t go to Prosper. That’s a bad idea. There’s no way he will voluntarily give up a good thing. The guy has no scruples.
Second, don’t try to talk to you wife. I know her type. As soon as you open your mouth and she knows where you are going, she is going to turn it into a shouting match that you cannot win. I suggest you take your time and write down your thoughts on paper to her. Give her an ultimatum. If she is ready to admit to the evidence that you found, and is ready to apologise for it, forgive her and continue with her. If not, then as painful as it is, please leave her. Cheap money from sugar daddy will be too difficult for her to give up, unless you push her. She has to choose between the two men.
Just leave the whore you call a wife and look for a virtuous woman that has the fear of God in her. A leopard will never change its spot.
Your wife’s little sister is wiser than her. To give your wife the advice she gave her means she’s matured. Your wife sees you as a weakling and is taking advantage of your love for her to sleep with Prosper. Her mother knows that, her siblings know that she is an item with Prosper and they are not going to divulge any information about that to you. If you don’t leave her you are going to take care of Prosper’s kids as your own.
You may not have access to her phone again but in case you do, take screenshots of such messages and send to your phone.
Prosper you are too weak !! Too nice , she has taken you for a fool , everything clearly shows that she was cheating on you and you are still dumb enough to think you can still save your marriage , she will continue to chest on you .
Divorce that bitch…can’t be putting your soul on the line because of her infidelity
Your wife has taking you to be a fool so is her family. She doesn’t have any iota of respect for you. If she does, she wouldn’t have slept with Prosper and after all the evidence she keeps denying it. Serve her the divorce papers. She doesn’t deserve you. You are young man and you deserve some peace with the right woman. Don’t accept disrespect from any body not less from your wife and her family. Don’t even bother going to that shameless Prosper.
My brother, you should thank God that you’ve caught this thief. Every material lady must be unfaithful. Divorce her now before she destroys you. Any woman who can cheat on her husband can kill him.
Save yourself from this drama, cheating is a no and she’s even denying it. Divorce her and move on cos she won’t stop even after apologizing. You can forgive her if you want but remember love without trust is not love. If u can trust her enough after u force the truth out of her, u can still be with her. But if it is me, the best option is to go our separate ways
please divorced her immediately