Aby and I were very good friends since our tertiary school days. In the course of our friendship, we learned that her brother and my sister were also friends. And just like us, they met in tertiary school. This revelation solidified our friendship. We became more than friends. We were sisters. Our bond grew stronger even when we left school. And with time, my family grew to love her as much as I do. She also loved my people as her own.

While we were in school, Aby dated a guy named KK. Their relationship lasted only for a year due to trust issues. However, they remained good friends even after things ended. KK and I were also good friends before I met Aby. So the three of us formed a trio. After school, I got a job in the town KK lived in. Aby also lived in the next town, so the three of us continued to stick together.

Along the line, KK developed an interest in me. He didn’t tell me first. He decided to talk to Aby about it before letting me know. By then I was in a toxic relationship Aby did not approve of. So she told me, “Leave that your boyfriend and date KK.” I laughed so hard at what I thought was a joke. But she was not joking. “How can you suggest I date your ex? That is crazy,” I turned down her suggestion. She told me KK is a good man, and nothing would make her happier than the two of us getting together. I still said no.

For two years, my best friend brought up KK’s interest in me, at the least chance she got. “Will I encourage you to be with him if I thought he would be bad for you? What are you so afraid of? Just give him a chance.” After hearing her talk about him so repeatedly, I found myself falling in love with him as well. So I had a deep conversation with Aby about my feelings. She was happy for me. And she assured me that she didn’t have a problem with me and KK getting together.

With her blessings, I started dating KK. He is indeed a good man. We were happy together but we also had our differences. At some point, our differences outweighed our happiness. We felt the only thing to do in that situation was to go our separate ways. But Aby refused to accept it. She spoke to us, “You two are good together. You love each other and it shows in everything you do. I will not allow a love like this to die. Whatever the problem is, fix it.” We thought our problems were unconquerable, but Aby brought us back together.

After we fixed our problems, we decided to get married. Who better to assist me in my wedding preparations than Aby? She was more than happy to help. She bakes wedding cakes and also runs a local bar. So we asked her to bake our cake and also set up a bar at our reception. “How much will it cost us?” We asked. “You know I can’t take money from you. All you need to do is buy the ingredients and I will take care of the rest,” She offered.

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As the date drew closer, I asked her for the list of ingredients she would need, or an estimate so I could budget and pay her. Every time I asked her for it she would say, “Oh there’s still more time. What’s the rush?” I don’t like to do things last minute so her attitude really bugged me. While I was figuring out a backup plan, KK’s cousin who is also a baker offered to bake our wedding cake for us as a wedding gift. How could we have turned down free cake? I informed Aby about it and she got hurt.

She told me, “If you have someone who will bake your cake, then get someone else to set up the bar because I won’t do it. I pleaded with her several times to reconsider her decision but she refused. So I hired someone else to set up the bar. Later when our date was just around the corner, Aby called me. She wanted to set up her bar at our reception. “Oh, you should have called earlier. I have already hired someone to do it.” That was all I said. Come and see how angry Aby got. She called KK and told him that she received an order on our wedding day so we shouldn’t expect her at the wedding. This annoyed KK to the point where he resolved never to talk to her again.

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Despite her anger, she attended our traditional marriage ceremony. However, she did not attend the wedding. After our honeymoon, I called her but she was cold toward me on the phone. So I decided not to call her again unless she calls me. I am still waiting for that call. It’s been over a year since we got married and Aby has not contacted me even once. I sent her WhatsApp messages on her birthday, on Christmas day, and the day our baby arrived. Her responses were; “Thank you” “Thank you” and “Congratulations”. She never even asked how I am doing.

What pained me was when I heard the things she was telling our other friends about me. She tells them, “Aby is now married so she doesn’t know me anymore. She doesn’t even contact me.” I am hurt she is doing all this because I still love her. I still see her as my sister. I want to call her but knowing her temper, she might say something to worsen the situation or even ignore me. What should I do? Should I contact her and try to resolve our issues or should I move on with my life? I have missed her so much.

–Maame

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