I Don’t Understand Why He Smiles Every Time He Sees Me

Every time he sees me he smiles and waves at me. After everything he has done, I thought he would at least have the decency to hide his face in shame when he crosses my path but no. He would rather make his presence known. I don’t talk to him. I greet his smiles with frowns. I also look away to prevent him from looking at me. I do all these hoping he would get that message that I want nothing to do with him but he does not seem to care.

The guy I am ranting about is called Owuraku. I met him last year when I went to do my national service. We were in the same organization but he was a permanent worker over there. The few times we met he smiled at me and said hello. Soon I would also smile at him and say hello. As time went on we graduated from saying hello, to exchanging a few phrases. From there we exchanged contacts and started talking.

As we talked, I saw a few signs here and there to indicate that the guy was interested in me but I was not interested in a relationship so I didn’t encourage him. However, he was determined to make his intentions known so he finally proposed to me. He told me, “I fell in love with you from the moment I set my eyes on you. I want to marry you if only you will let me.” I didn’t know him enough to think about marrying him so I turned him down.

He had a prize to win so he would not back down. He kept coming at me with reasons why I should give him a chance. At some point, my hardened heart softened toward him. I didn’t say yes outright. What I did say was, “How can you say you want to marry me when you don’t even know me? I want to give you a chance but I believe we should take our time and get to know each other before we start talking about marriage.” He did not seem very pleased with my response but he agreed to it.

So we started studying each other. He introduced me to his friends who were also at the workplace. I talked to my aunt about him. And I even mentioned that I would like for him to meet my mother. He seemed okay with all of it. I even visited him twice at his place. Get your mind out of the gutter, nothing happened during my visits. We kept things pure. Of course, he did not want it that way but I insisted.

Seven months into our “getting to know each other” phase, he started picking fights with me. I didn’t understand what I had done wrong. I kept pushing him to talk to me before he said, “I am not happy that after all these months you haven’t given an answer to my proposal. Are you trying to tell me that you don’t know me enough?” To be honest, I had gotten to know and love him at that point. It should be easy for me to accept him but I couldn’t. When I thought of him, I felt something was off.

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One day he was picking another fight with me when I asked him, “I know I already asked you this question but I want to ask again. Are you sure that you don’t have anyone you are already committed to?” He got angry, “Are you serious? Will I be with you for seven months hoping you would say yes to my proposal if I already had someone else? If you don’t love me the way I love you, just say so. And stop stringing me along.” I even felt I was being unfair to him after that argument.

I was thinking of a way to patch things up with him when someone sent me photos of Owuraku and another woman. It was their pre-wedding shoots and a wedding invitation. I was so shocked that I am sure my heart stopped for a second. Truly, I couldn’t breathe for a while. When I gathered my thoughts, I asked around about the bride. It turned out she was in the picture before I came along. Their marriage was even in the pipeline before Owuraku set eyes on me. I became enraged.

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I asked myself why Owuraku would chase me relentlessly if he knew he was already promised to someone else. Why would he pick a fight with me for not saying yes to him when he knew his wedding was just around the corner? I was pained by his deception. He must have known that I heard about everything because he tried to talk to me. However, I was too angry to pay him any attention. I have thought about his actions over and over again but it does not make sense.

Although I did not sleep with him, I feel disrespected by his behavior. When I think about him I tell God to deal with him and heal my heart from the pain he has caused me. He is married now, but he still tries to talk to me. I don’t even acknowledge him for him to get the opportunity to feed me more lies. If it isn’t for the fact that we work together, I wouldn’t have to see him. But I have to put up with his infuriating presence when I go to work. And it doesn’t help matters that he smiles when he sees me. Why does he do that? To the men out there, is there a logical explanation for why a man would smile every time he sees a woman he lied to?

–Darling