The kind of person Ama is terrifies me sometimes. You could catch her with her hand inside the soup pot and she would tell you, “Oh, I wasn’t about to steal the meat. I just wanted to check if it is hard or soft.” I know it sounds silly and though I have never caught her with her hand inside the soup pot, she has given me enough silly explanations after I  caught her in compromising situations, so It’s easy for me to predict what she would do in almost every situation. I say this because of all the explanations and ridiculous excuses she gave me every time I caught her with another man.

It doesn’t matter the position I caught Ama in, she would tell me; “It’s not what it looks like. Nothing happened between us. We were just lying together and having a conversation.” Sometimes people saw her and reported her to me, “I saw your girlfriend entering Bernard’s house last night and leaving at dawn. Or is she no longer with you?” Sometimes I thanked whoever gave me the information and moved on. Other times too I asked them to give me irrefutable proof that it was really Ama they saw. But it didn’t matter. No matter how concrete the evidence was, Ama would say, “I just went there to spend the night. We didn’t do anything.”

In the entire three and a half years we were together, there was always an issue of my fiancée being involved with someone else. She never admitted that she had anything to do with them so I mostly let it go. There were days she would tell me, “You are in a relationship with me yet you don’t trust me. You believe everyone who comes to tell you anything about me. You don’t even stop to wonder if they are lying. You don’t try to defend me. You just come straight to me and start accusing me of doing things I know nothing about. Is that how you love someone? ” It got to a point where I believed I was unfair to her with my accusations. She even reported me to her pastor. Her pastor sat us down for counselling, after which he told me, “Be patient with her. And do your best to pray for her. I have seen in the realm of the spirit that God purposefully placed you in her path to guide her.”

So I let go of everything and decided to give us a clean start. I introduced her to my family as the woman I wanted to marry. They welcomed her wholeheartedly and she also introduced me to hers. From there we started making preparations for marriage. The same week we planned to do our knocking ceremony, I saw Ama going to another guy’s house to spend the night. I had seen conversations on her phone with the same guy. He knew Ama was with me but I didn’t know anything about him except for the fact that he sends my woman inappropriate texts.

READ ALSO: My Girlfriend Fell Under The Anointing And Confessed But She Says It Was Just Acting

The night I saw her with the guy was the night I realized that marrying her would be the biggest mistake of my life. I called my people the next morning and told them to put all their preparations on hold. I had reached my breaking point and there was no going back. I went to see her pastor and explained everything to him. When he sent for her she declined his invitation. She later went to see him but she refused to own up to her actions. Her pastor called me saying, “She said she didn’t go out the night you supposedly saw her. Are you sure she was the one you saw? Maybe it was someone who looked like her.” If I didn’t know Ama’s ability to make you doubt your own sanity, I would have toed the line of her pastor. However, I knew her very well so I discarded the pastor’s thoughts and stuck to my decision not to continue with the marriage rites.

I realized after the break up that I was doing so much better with her gone. I suffered a lot of anxiety when we were together. I was always overthinking her relationship with the men in her life. But I started experiencing uninterrupted peace of mind after I ended the relationship. I no longer had to worry about what she was doing behind my back. I was free.

Would You Allow Your Partner To Go Through Your Phone?–Beads Media

She calls me from time to time but I don’t pick up. On my good days, I text her asking what she wants but she doesn’t reply. The other day she texted me around 2:00 AM saying, “I miss us but you think I am a cheat.” I would not have lost a night’s sleep over her but ironically, I haven’t slept for three weeks straight because of her. I have been seeing her in my dreams. In the dreams, we are still together, and she cheats on me and denies it when I catch her. Sometimes too we argue about the breakup. And she denies that she cheated.

I don’t want her back so I don’t understand why I keep dreaming about her. That’s what I want to understand. Is it normal to continuously dream about someone you no longer want anything to do with?

–Miguel

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