Last year in October I met a man while I was in town running some errands. He approached me and introduced himself. I didn’t know what he wanted but I gave him my attention. After I told him my name he asked, “Can I get your number so we talk later?” I honestly wasn’t interested in talking to him later. But I also didn’t want to be rude. So I gave him my number. This is not the first time I have given my number to someone I don’t want to talk to. I would give them the number and ignore their calls until they get the hint and stop contacting me.

So that was what I planned to do with this man I met. But then, he sent me GHC100 mobile money after he received my number. I didn’t ask him for money or give him any indication that I needed his money. He also didn’t ask if it was okay to send me money. He just assumed that I would feel indebted to him if he sends me money and I would be obliged to be nice to him. Well, that’s what I thought his intentions were. I didn’t want to stick around to find out if I was right. I just ignored all his calls till he stopped calling me.

I completely forgot about him till he reached out to me last month. We texted on WhatsApp for a while before he asked, “When can I see you again?” I responded, “I am busy. I won’t have time to meet you.” So he proposed, “Why don’t we have a video call right now so that I can at least see your face?” I tried to turn him down but he was very persuasive. Before I realized it, I was on a video call with him. We talked for a while and the conversation veered into unchartered territories. We were saying things like, “I will show you mine if you show me yours.” Regretfully, I showed this man my breasts, and he showed me his joystick.

After the call ended, I felt dirty and very bad. I didn’t understand why I did what I did. But I was determined never to speak to the man again. Just as the thought crossed my mind, his call came through. I stuck to my resolve and refused to answer it. He called several times but I didn’t answer any of them. He kept calling till I got fed up and picked up one of his calls and told him, “I need money. Can you send me some money in the morning?” He then asked me, “I only have GHC100 left on me, will that be enough for you?” I said yes, and he sent it.

Now the thing is, I didn’t want his money. I thought he would start ignoring me the moment I asked him for money, but he didn’t. So once again, I had taken this gentleman’s money although I have no interest in him. He started calling me since he sent the money but I went back to ignoring his calls. When he stopped calling me I heaved a huge sigh of relief and said, “Finally, this man has gotten the message. He won’t bother me again. I am free of him.” However, a week later, the universe laughed in my face and said, “You did your victory dance too soon.”

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Guess what? The man contacted me again on WhatsApp. The moment I saw his message, I decided that I would block him. But before I could hit the block button, his message caught my attention. It was a video of me showing him breasts. And the text that followed was, “If you don’t send me back my GHC100, I will leak this video on the internet and make a superstar out of you.” I became afraid all of a sudden, “Let us meet in person so that I give you your money while I watch you delete the video,” I suggested. He said there was no need for us to meet. “Send me the money and trust that I will delete the video,” he responded. He even added that I can curse him if he doesn’t delete the video.

I didn’t trust him but what could I have done? I sent him the money and he assured me that the video was deleted. He then asked why I took his money in the first place and then ghosted him. Then he said he wants us to meet so that we can get together. I told him, “It’s not necessary for us to meet. Besides, I have a boyfriend so I can’t be with you. Please, forget about me and move on with your life.” He said he is in love with me so he can’t forget about me. Then he added, “Don’t mess with me, or else…” I didn’t bother replying to his chats after that.

Why Are You Still In This Marriage?–Beads Media

I don’t know what he means by, “Or else…” but I am terrified. No one says that with good intentions. I didn’t know what I was getting myself into when I gave my number to this man, but I have come to regret it. And something tells me that this is the beginning of my woes. What should I do if he comes back with the video and threatens to leak them if I don’t date him? What if he starts making demands that I can’t fulfil? Please, how do I protect myself from getting extorted or worse? I need your help.

—Peace

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