2025 has been my worst year on this earth so far. We are all fighting a silent battle, one that a lot of people don’t know about.

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I am a 35-year-old guy, and I am still searching for his purpose in life. I am the last of four, very vibrant, energetic, and hardworking. But this year has been filled with misfortunes and bad luck that could have made anyone give up. When I look around me, all the friends I grew up with have made it in life, often with help from someone or from their parents. Except me. I am still roaming around like a headless chicken.

I have set up businesses, but you know what? They collapse in a short time. Yet, if I help anyone else set up a business, it flourishes. My mum, on the other hand, keeps pressuring me to stand on my feet. It is not like I am a stay-at-home person. Laziness is not my middle name. It fears me to the core. But things are just not working.

I help people book appointments for Schengen visas. I apply for them, and more than half get approved. But when it is my turn, I either get denied or deported even after getting the visa to travel. I have prayed. I have fasted. I have done everything religiously. But it seems like I have sinned more than anyone else in this world for God to ignore my prayers.

It is really hard. And trust me, people see me as if there is nothing wrong. But I alone know what I am going through.

I thank God that I don’t gamble, smoke, womanise, drink, or do anything unwanted. It is just that things are very hard for me at this moment. Nieces and nephews look up to me for support to go to school. Friends promised to help me, but none of them pick up my calls. Some owe me huge sums of money and they are not willing to pay.

I am just lost in life. Sometimes I lock myself inside and cry just to get some relief.

When you read this, remember me in your prayers. I don’t want anything else. Just to be remembered in prayers. It is so hard for me now.

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But I look up to the hills from where my help comes. My help comes from the Lord, the one who made heaven and earth. He will make a way when there seems to be no way. I pray for God to look at me and send help along the way.

—Bismark

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