After reading yesterday’s story on the man who said “I love you” to his wife after eight years of marriage, something changed in me. It began as silent guilt and later in the day grew into shame. I’ve married my wife for four years and I don’t remember the last time I told her that I love her. We’ve had our troubles—troubles that we’ve conquered and we’ve had some simple wins too. Recently, things haven’t been right between us. There have been series of arguments that resulted in a fight. I remember the whole of last week, we exchanged only a few words.

After reading the story, I thought, “Why not?” Why don’t I tell her that I love her?” I’d wanted to wait until I got home in the evening and but I couldn’t sit still. I was eager to hear her response so I picked my phone and sent her the message; “I love you.” I waited for a while to hear her response but she wasn’t online to read and respond. Twenty minutes or so later, I saw her call on my phone. I picked the call and calmly said, “Hello dear.” She screamed, “You see God has removed your covering today? Who were you sending that message to? Who is that girl, tell me?” 

I was so shocked I began to stutter; “Hey, how can you think this way? It’s something I sent to you and I mean it. I realized we’ve had some issues. I want us to put all that behind us and love again.” She screamed on the phone, “LIAR! You think I’m a child. You think I’m your baby that you can lie to anyhow?” Before I could say the next word, she cut the line on me. A few minutes later, she sent a text, “If you are in love with someone else, it’s better you tell me so I pack and leave.”  I didn’t respond. A few minutes later a long message that read like a memo also came through. I didn’t respond. Then she called my phone. She was calm this time. She said, “Just tell me the truth, who were you sending the message to?”

I said, “Dear, it’s you I’m sending to and no one else.” She asked, “So why would you send that to me all of a sudden? We were in the house together this morning, so why didn’t you tell me?” A client walked in so I told her, “When we get home this evening we’ll talk about it.”

She was home before I got there. Immediately she saw me, she pounced, “Mr. Man, come and explain yourself. I won’t buy those excuses you’ve been giving me since morning.” So I told her the truth. I sent her the link to the story and said, “This is what I read this morning and it’s the reason why I sent you that message. All I’m asking for is a revival.” She read the story, looked at my face and asked, “So you’re telling me you love me because you read a story or you’re telling me you love me because you love me?” I responded, “The story is only an awakening but I love you truly.” She said, “Prove it.” I asked, “How do I prove it?” She retorted, “If you love me and I’m the only one you love, open your phone and give it to me.”

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I knew where she was driving to. We’ve had that argument before. She thinks as a couple we both should have each other’s password to each other’s phone. I didn’t buy that idea. I believe though we are a couple, each other deserve their space and some form of privacy but she thinks knowing the password to my phone is an expression of love. I told her, “I know I love you and I’ve told you just that. If you want proof, open your eyes and you’ll see it in our daily lives. My phone? Lie lie but it doesn’t also mean I have anything to hide.”

She screamed, “I knew it. That message is for who it’s for but not me. Why are you scared to show me what’s on your phone? Why are you scared?”

I thought I was doing something different for once to revive the stale marriage we’ve endured over the past years but I ended up opening old wounds. We fought all night and this morning, we woke up, bathed, and left the house without saying a word to each other. I know it’s going to stay this way for a long while and I’m prepared to fight fair this time. When tempers go down and we are good again, I will try it one more time and see how it would end. I hope she reads this and if she does, I want her to know that I married her because I loved her from day one and nothing has changed.

—Joel 

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