I completed school not long ago and yet to get a job but my parents expect me to send money home. I told them I wasn’t working but they felt I was telling a lie. “How do you feed then?” My mom asked. “How are you able to wear these beautiful clothes if you’re not working?” My dad asked me. I wanted to tell them it was all packaging but they wouldn’t understand so I let it slide.
I’m in a position where I meet big men and go out with them and some give me money. I have men who travel abroad and bring stuff to me. I mostly sell the ones I don’t need to raise money. I’ve begged the men to help me get a job. They are on it and I believe something would come out of it. But before I get a job, I have to date some of them so I get money. I’m being honest here. Without them, life would have been terrible.
I send money home monthly. I don’t have a specific amount I send to them. Depending on what I get in a month, I share it with them. Because of this, my parents think I’m sleeping on millions. They call me and make crazy demands. When they have a headache, they call me to send money for drugs. They go around bragging to their friends that their daughter is a big girl in the city. “I have nothing, Ma. Stop making me appear big.”
Recently, Dad called and needed money for something I thought wasn’t necessary. He made a pledge in church in my name so I should send him GHC 500 to give to the church. I told him straightforwardly, “It’s your pledge and not mine so please go and deliver.”
This man says I’ve disrespected him so he wouldn’t regard me as a daughter again. Fine. So me too, I’ve stopped sending money home. I don’t even have the money.
It hasn’t been easy since. Every day, one relative or another would call and ask me to go and beg my father because of the curses he’s raining on me. My sister has called. My elder brother also called. They all want me to go and beg my dad.
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I know the plan. If I beg him today, he would forgive me and start asking for money again. It’s the reason I don’t want to. Since we stopped talking, I’ve been at peace. My mom is also acting in solidarity with her husband so she doesn’t call or ask about me.
I’m at peace but I want to know, the curses, would it work, looking at what happened? I didn’t insult him and I wasn’t the one who cut him off. He did and I agreed. Do you think such curses would have any effect on me?
—Gladys
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Hmm asem. No it won’t work when you know deep in your heart you have done no wrong. Save the money you get from these men. I doubt they are really looking for a job for you. Because they know if you get the job you will be independent . They want you to really on them. Be smart and start doing the search yourself since the hands that feed you can also starve you. Be your own provider that alone is a super power. But with regard to your dad apologise despite doing no ill so that you can have peace Because people won’t stop calling you to do the deed. So apologising will cut everything short and you will have more peace than you have now. Good luck 👍
My dear start the job hunting now. Men can’t be trusted. If you have a job that you have hunted for no man can take it away from you. You being independently is the greatest achievement in the world. As for your dad nothing will happen to you. But you apologising will cut everything short because people will stop calling you to do the deed hence having more peace than you have now. You have to explain yourself to them . That awoke will get them to understand you. Wiase a y3 wo yi fr)mfr)m ntena h) daa.
One of the most difficult skills is the ability to say No and remain firm about it. But if you fail to learn it, it will follow you to your grave. Today it’s your parents, tomorrow it will be the turn of your siblings, and the day after your nephews and nieces. The irony is that when they are in a position to help you and you are in need, none will come to your aid. A friend in need is a friend indeed! Anyone who loves and cares will be providing you comfort and a listening ear, not demanding money from you to fulfill selfish and frivolous ends. How can the curses of such a person work? My dear, you are better off without his sticky fingers in your pocket. At least that will make you less dependant on those men. Insha Allah, your dream to get a job or business will come to pass. But never forget to choose you first, even before your parents, and persevere in the face of alleged curses and needless gossip
He can’t do foko. Ignore him.
‘Like a fluttering sparrow or a darting swallow, an undeserved curse does not come to rest’. Proverbs 26:2
Just keep job hunting and when you find a job, you can start remitting them. But in the meanwhile, try to keep calling them to just check on them and be socially connected to them. Ghana is hard plus some assume life is smooth with you if you do not open up about the challenges in your life.