The other day my mother sat me down and asked me, “My dear, why are you still not married at your age? You don’t even have a girlfriend. If you did, I would have been hopeful that you were preparing toward marriage. What’s going on? I know my son. You are a sweet person so why are you still single?” Why are you still single? My mother is not the only person who has asked me this question. Everyone who knows me seeks to understand this. The truth is, I hope they find the answer so they can share it with me. Just like them, I also want to know why despite my best efforts, I end up being a tool in the hands of women who claim to like me.
I am a young man who is striving to make it big in life. I am a pharmacist who is currently pursuing his master’s degree. I wanted to give my education my full attention so I have currently put work on hold. That’s not to say that this is the reason I am single. Not at all. Before I took the step to pursue higher education, I was actively pursuing love. I am not saying I am perfect but I know I have never treated any woman badly.
Even when we are in the talking stage, I treat them like queens. Sometimes I would surprise them with gift packages at work. I’m intentional about the gestures I make. The point is to prove to these women that I am capable of being a wonderful boyfriend. I make them happy. When we are in a relationship I go all out. I remember one of my exes. She was from a very humble family. I used to take her to work and picked her up after she had closed. I did this whenever I had days off. The entire relationship revolved around the things I could do to make her feel loved.
She lived in a very rough neighborhood. It was the kind of place you would never see me on a normal day. However, my girlfriend lived there so it became my second home. Sometimes I would visit her and cook for her and her siblings. They were so happy that they called their mother to help them thank me. This is how committed I was to her, yet the relationship still didn’t work out.
When women say, “All men cheat,” it doesn’t apply to me. I’m a one woman kind of man. When I am with someone, I am loyal to them. You won’t find me entertaining other women in the name of harmless flirtations. It’s just you and no one else. This is what I have heard most women say they want. “I want someone who is thoughtful.” Well, I surprise you with gifts. “I want a faithful man.” Here I am, faithful to a fault. “I want a man who is serious about me and wouldn’t play games with me.” You’ve got me. All I want is a serious woman who wants to build a life with her man. What about looks? Not to blow my own trumpet but I am a six-foot, dark, and handsome young man.
The question is, where does it all go wrong? Is it in the choosing of the women or easily trusting that what someone says is true? I have found myself in relationships with women who are my all, only to realize they already have a main man. Some of them get bored in their relationships and see me as a distraction. They give me attention, enjoy my affections, and then leave me high and dry. “I’m sorry. I thought I already told you I had a man. I must have forgotten,” they would say innocently. Others would lie until I catch them red-handed. I would be so hurt but I would quietly walk away, nurse my wounds, and then put myself back out there when I am certain I am healed and ready to try this love thing again.
READ ALSO: My Married Ex Wants Us To Meet So I Can Give Her A Parting “Gift”.
I don’t know what it is I do wrong that makes women take advantage of me? This is why I am single now. The thought of getting to know someone, doing my best to win their heart, only to find out that they were just using me to occupy the emptiness their boyfriends have left in their lives, is disheartening. When I explained this to my mother she said, “I don’t understand. As far as I am concerned, you are a good person, and women like good men. So if by the end of your master’s program you are still single, then you are the problem.” My mother is my best friend. She knows some of the horrible experiences I have been through. So it hit me really hard when she said I could be the problem.
She believes that I have weak game. “Maybe you hang around these women doing nice things for them but you don’t actually tell them how you feel about them,” she explained. I assure you that that’s not the case. I have never started anything with a woman without declaring my intentions to pursue a romantic relationship with her. I know she wants to understand why I’m single as much as I do. Even my friends don’t get it. They’ve tried to connect me to their single friends but it also backfired.
I Didn’t Tell Anybody Because I Enjoyed It
I am tired of giving everything and getting nothing in return. When did it become a bad thing to show love? Although I wish I was in a relationship, I have gotten to a point where I want to focus on building myself up. My problem is, if I become successful and rich, I won’t take any woman who tries to love me seriously? I would look at them and think, “Where were you when I was looking for someone to build life with? Now that I have toiled alone to get everything I want, you are here claiming to love me. What did you contribute to make me who I am today?” I know it’s someway to judge someone new for the hurt others caused me but this is where I am now.
In case you are wondering, I am not abusive. I don’t have anger issues. When I do something wrong and you tell me, I would quickly apologize and make sure I don’t repeat it again. I have an interesting personality and I’m a very great conversationalist. Honestly, I don’t know exactly what I do wrong to get treated badly. My friends have advised me not to shut myself off lest I miss the woman meant for me. But here lies the case where I don’t want to be used and discarded again. Please tell me, what can I do differently? What am I not doing right that the men who get the girls are doing?
— Cacktus Jack
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Mmmmm this life is someway oooh.you are someone’s answered prayer 🙏 oooh my snr man.the truth is that what is not yours will never stay and the one for you will never hurt you in anyway.Focus on yourself,you will meet your wife along the line . there are up and down in life this is yours.i hope we can be friends 🤩
I tell my self wrong people never do good to good people. You found yourself in the company of the wrong ones. The good hands or person will do good and treat you right because that is what they are here to do. Don’t give up. Be prayerful too because it’s through prayers that we get what we want. God’s timing is indeed the best. Consult him and he will teach what to do.
I will like to be your friend
That’s my contact 0552246216
It’s unfortunate you are going through this.. Check the kind of ladies you are attracted to. Maybe your choice of women is the issue. But don’t give up you would definitely meet the right person. All the best n be cheerful
Precious things are hard to find so never give up, Keep searching because the best package is yet to come. 🤛
In all your doing add prayer. If you’re still in touch with any of your exes, they could let you know about your shortcomings so you address them. Stay the happy, loving person that you are. It’s just a matter of time.
You are a good person, if you will permit l can connect you to someone I can trust won’t treat you that way any more. She is a devoted christian, devoted to the things of God, gainfully employed, hard working, humble and very respectful.
Trust me Good women still exist.
It’s like my story is been blown in someone’s life too. I am currently in tears while reading your story. Exactly the same thing I have been going through and more.
Although I am not a person who likes to share personal life on social media, however this has given me the courage to do so knowing that I am not the only one facing such an issue.
Currently, I feel I don’t need love but therapy instead, sitting down to carefully analyze where I go short in. I had to come to a conclusion that maybe because I easily trust therefore get hurt at the end.
i would want to be your friend and see how far it goes but i might be scared of your age sir…kindly contact the admi for my email so we start from there.. all the same best of luck in this endeavour..
There may be a personality flaw, or something that has to do with your personal hygiene… which is very very very very difficult to tell someone no matter how close you are to the person. Find an honest answer and work on anything you are told. All the best dear.
Your problem is spiritual. But wherever it comes from and whoever is behind it, the only solution is prayer. No spirit is greater than God’s. The evil one fears God papa. So first find a woman who believes in God, and don’t do anything sinful with her, but start praying together. Saturate your relationship with constant, quiet prayers, often together, and sometimes individually. Everyday! You’ll get results. It’s the only way, trust me.
My guy, you are a good soft guy. Ladies fall for the ‘bad’ guys. Stop thinking about been caring and intentional. Tease them and amp the sexual energy. Don’t wait for marriage. Hit them hard when the opportunity for do the do comes. You are young and single, don’t give any woman the mindset that they are the only one. Add or actively flirt with hot girls to let the current one know you are open to dump them in case they take you for granted. When you finally marry, you can be 100% intentional. Learn how to be a baddie small. Don’t be clingy on a woman.
My dear. Time waits for no one.
Call 0203881206.
She has a lot of good-hearted friends and she may be able to connect you with one. If you give her he permission to, she can let you know if you have any improvement areas. All the best.
A typical example of a nice guy. You will suffer with women until you harden your heart and understand that women don’t actually like nice guys.
learn to say no. Intentionally ignore their calls. Don’t be quick to tell them you love them. Play like you don’t care. I mean like you say this and act that.
I was like you until I learned the hard way. Now that I am married, I’m fully committed to my marriage.
most importantly, go to YouTube and listen to videos on how to win women’s hearts. or what do women want? you will see plenty and learn the hard way. best wishes.