I don’t receive calls while driving but this person kept calling and calling until I decided to stop by the roadside and answer the call. It was an old friend who had come to town and wanted to see me. While parked and talking to him, a lady walked to my car and tapped on the rolled-up window gently. I rolled down the window and turned to her. She asked, “Are you looking for someone or something?” I signaled to her that I’m on the phone so she walked away. Not long afterward, another lady came to knock on the window. She asked, “Do you need something I can help with?”

At this time I was confused. “Am I parked at where I’m not supposed to park or something?” I told her, “I’m on the phone talking to someone that’s why I parked.” She nodded and moved away, but I tracked her movement as she walked away. There were about six girls gathered ahead of her so she went to join them. Another car parked ahead of me and one of the ladies went to stand next to the car. Some few minutes later, she hopped into the car and they were gone. I started getting it.

The girls were night hookers and I had parked in their zone of operation.

Not too long afterward, another girl from the group of girls started walking towards my car. This time I knew why they kept coming and I was ready to answer them the right way. When she knocked on the window, I politely shook my head and she walked away. I had finished talking on the phone but I stood there watching them. Every now and then, cars would come along, they will engage them for a while and one will jump into the car.

There was this particular girl I kept wondering about. She wore a short skirt and a white crop top with white sneakers to match. She was fair and had enough butt and boobs to attract looks from men. Her face wasn’t clear because the light was dim where she was standing. I wondered, “Why would a beautiful girl like this be a hooker? What is driving her? She has everything to win herself a rich boyfriend? Why would she do this?”

My thought of her wasn’t over when I saw her walking towards my car. I quickly removed my ring. Honestly, I don’t know what made me remove my ring because I hadn’t thought of what I was going to tell her. My windows were already down when she got to me. She stooped a little, placed her two elbows on the window, and smiled; “You’ve been here for some time now. You are not sure who to pick? Well, I’m here. Tell me something.”

God, she’s beautiful. I didn’t see her face when she was far away but when she drew closer and begun talking to me, all her true colors came shining through. I told her, “I parked here to receive a call and nothing else.” She smiled and cast this look as though she was trying to throw a spell on me. She said, “It’s beautiful night but I can make it more beautiful for you if you allow me?” I asked her, “How? What do you mean?” She said, “Take me where the two of us can be alone and you’ll know what I’m talking about.”

My heart began racing and my mind was full of thoughts of how a night with her could be like. I kept quiet and she kept quiet too. For a while both of us said nothing. She asked, “Or you’re shy? You’re a man, make up your mind and take me away and You’ll never regret it.”

I asked how much and she asked how long I was going to keep her. I didn’t know how long so she started explaining; “It’s GHC150 for short and GHC400 for the whole night.” I asked her, “How short is the short?” She responded, “Immediately you cum, game over.” I asked, “What if after one hour I hadn’t cum?” She said, “No one lasts for that long with me but if you think you’ll need more than one round then book me for the night.”

I said, “I want short.” She hopped into the car and we drove off.

It was she who chose the hotel. Immediately we got in, she started stripping. No time for long talks. She sat at the edge of the bed watching me as she stripped. I took off my shoes and started losing my belt. Before my trousers went down, she had finished stripping and lying on her back waiting for me. I sat next to her watching. She asked, “What are you waiting for?” In my mind, “Is that all? No foreplay, nothing? I just hopped on top and begin doing the do? Just like that?” She asked, “Ain’t you going to start?”

She looked down at my ‘bazooka’ and realized it was still down. She asked, “Are you not ready?” I told her, I’m ready but I have to be touched before it will get up.” She said, “Then touch yourself?” I asked her, “Why don’t you do it, isn’t foreplay part of the deal?” She burst out laughing. She said, “You’re looking for foreplay from ashawo? Are you serious? I’m not your girlfriend. You paid me for sex and sex I’ll give so get that machine up and put your CD on and let’s play.”

My head started spinning. “This is not what I imagined when I signed up for this? I imagined crazier stuff—my machine in her mouth, hands and fingers at sacred places even before the game starts. What’s this lady telling me?” I kept quiet, concentrating, and searching through my mind to get some memories that will help get my thing up. She won’t let me focus. Every second she will shout and say I’m wasting her time. I told her, “This is my first time doing this and it’s not easy for me. I’m not built that way—take off clothes and start humping. Something has to precede the action.”

She shouted, “Stop all the lectures and do what you’re here to do.”

Eiii Ashawo with attitude. Don’t these people know anything about customer service or have a customer retention policy?

She got up from the bed and sat next to me and said, “You don’t signup for basic services and expect to be given premium experience. Pay more if you want more. I can blow your mind only if your payment blows my mind.” I told her, “But you didn’t tell me that from the beginning?”

She angrily stood up from the bed and started dressing; “Obviously you’re impotent and brought me here to waste my time. Whoever sent you, tell them you didn’t meet me.” She picked her skirt and wore it just like that. No panty. She picked her crop top and threw it on. I had also started dressing up. She took back the cd she gave me and stretched her hand towards me. I asked, “What?” She said, “My money.”

“Your money for doing what exactly?”

“My money for the time you wasted.”

“Obviously I didn’t do anything so if I’m going to pay I’m only going to give you a half payment.”

She looked sternly at my face—her hand stretched still and this time tapping her foot.

“My money. You’re going to pay and you’re going to pay in full before we leave here.”

“You think I’m a small boy that you’re going to push around? We’ll see.”

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She picked her phone and started making a call. She said, “Please come with another guy to this hotel. There’s an issue.” I dipped into my wallet and gave her GHC200 cedis. She said, “What took you so long?” She started walking away. I told her, “You charged GHC150 so you ought to give me GHC50 change.” She didn’t even stop. She kept going until she reached the door and was stepping out that she turned to me and said, “I don’t have change but you’ll get a discount the next time you call for my services.”

I was so powerless I couldn’t do anything. I watched her as she shook her ass and walked away. I believe that call she made was fake. She would have called them again to tell them not to come but she didn’t. She just walked away with my hard earned GHC200.

I got out, sat in my car, and turned on the engine. I stayed in the car for several minutes processing what just happened. I still didn’t know why I removed my ring. Ring or no ring, ashawo doesn’t care. Or maybe, I felt the ring held something sacred about my marriage and didn’t have the courage to disrespect whatever the ring held. Whatever the reason was, I told myself, “Maybe it was a divine act to save me from trouble. Imagine if I had my ring on when that happened—the shame and guilt at that moment would have paralyzed me.”

I picked my ring, kissed it, put it back on and drove away—homebound.

—Evans, Ghana

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