When I completed school, I helped my mother to manage her restaurant at the center of Accra. I went to the restaurant every day. He also came around every day without fail. Sometimes he came with friends. Other times he came alone. He was nice to everyone around. One afternoon, just when I was stepping out of the restaurant, he walked in. That was the first time we talked. He asked where I was going. I told him. He said, “If you can wait till I finish eating, I will drop you.”

I waited. A few minutes later, he was done eating. I sat next to him in his car and he took me to where I was going. He took my number and the conversation started from there. A few months later, he became my boyfriend. One major reason I accepted his proposal was because of his fun spirit. He never had a dull moment. We planned our weekends from Monday. What we’ll do. The places we’ll go. The kind of drinks we’ll like to try and the place we’ll end up sleeping on the weekend. All of a sudden, ‘Thank God It’s Friday’ had a different meaning in my life.

I looked forward to the coming of Fridays like the kid will look forward to Christmas. He’ll tell me, “There’s this Tilapia joints bi paa I’ve discovered errn, why don’t we go and spoil there this Friday?” Friday would come, we’ll both walk hand in hand and enter the place. We’ll eat as much as we can, drink as much as our stomachs would allow and when we were full to the brim, he’ll hold my hand and say, “Let’s go to the beach.”

The rest of the night would be spent at the beach, taking long strolls and running from the sea waves. We discovered a lot of places together. We were so used to discovering new places that we hardly went to the same place twice.

Two years later, we got married. The fun didn’t stop. We started looking for places with a live band. We’ll go there and while we danced on the floor, our rings will sparkle on our fingers. We were old friends but the new rings on our fingers brought some sort of newness into our lives. We were like some old friends who are starting a new life from a fresh page.

A year and a half later, our first child arrived. Not too long afterward, the second child followed. I was more than a wife. I was a wife and a mother too. That changed everything. We were no longer going out together. He went out with friends while I stayed home taking care of the kids. Most nights, he came home with the same happy face I used to see when we were going out together. While he slept and snored away, I would be awake all night, raring babies.

The kids are old enough now so on Fridays, I send them to their grannies. I want us to have time for ourselves. The plan is to bring the spark back. Walk over the beach at night and look for a place where we can get a live band and dance the night away. He comes home very late on Friday night, after chilling with his friends. I asked him one Saturday night, “I thought you said we’ll be going out tonight?” He said, “Yeah but I’ve changed my mind. I’m too tired and need some rest. Let’s make it next Saturday.”

The next Saturday came but the same excuse, same results. We never went out. When I complained he said, “We were young then. We didn’t have kids but now we do. We have responsibilities so we have to act like people who are responsible.” I wasn’t asking for too much. I was asking for once in a while kind of date.

READ ALSO: It Took Me Ten Years To Finally Get A Yes From Her

One night, I took the kids to their grannies and spent some time there. He got home and I wasn’t there. When he called I told him I was out with some friends. He got angry and started shouting on the phone; “How can a married woman stay out till this late? Who are those friends? How come I know nothing about this. You better get here before I get angry.” I said, “It’s past 10pm. You’re now coming home. How can a married man come home this late after work?”

That made him angrier. He said, “So you’re staying out late because I’m out late? Stay there, don’t come home.” I told him, “I’m here with your parents. I would be home soon.” When I got home he couldn’t look at me in the eyes. He was embarrassed for being angry over nothing. I thought I would see some changes but nothing happened.

On the other side of the coin, there’s this gentleman who’s doing everything to get my attention. He’s also married but his wife lives in another town. He asks me out often. He compliments me on everything I wear. I can wear a rag and he’ll look at the part that’s not torn and say, “Beautiful dress.” He orders food for me anytime I tell him I’m hungry. He said, “Sometimes, you just have to jump over the line and experience life on the other side. It’s not a crime if no one dies.”

I have no intention to cheat. I don’t think the fun would be fun enough without my husband. Where’s the joy when you keep watching over your shoulders? If I had to do it, it should be with no one else but my husband but he’s no more into me like he used to. What else can I do to bring his mind back home to me? I’ve said a lot and done a lot but he simply doesn’t see the need to change. Or all men are like that. Do they change when responsibilities come?

–Franka 

Do you have any relationship experience to share? Email it to [email protected]

NOTE: NO PART OF THIS CONTENT CAN BE REPUBLISHED OR REPRODUCED IN ANY FORM WITHOUT THE EXPLICIT CONSENT OF THE EDITORS OF THIS BLOG.