I saw a story here about someone struggling because their girlfriend is still close with her ex. It resonated with me. Therefore I want to share my own experience. It’s quite different from the story that inspired it. Hopefully, by the time you are done reading it, you will understand why some of us do not cut off our exes after a breakup.

Back in high school, there was this young woman that I started dating. Like any couple, we had our good and bad times. We were so attached to each other that we would be together forever. That’s how deep the bond of our friendship ran. However, by the time I got to my final year at the university, we decided to call it quits. We didn’t break up because of a big fight or cheating or anything; we just started talking less and less.

So after the breakup, we both moved on. She found someone else at her university, and I focused on my studies. Even though we were no longer together, we didn’t just cut each other off. We checked in on each other from time to time. It was a nice and warm gesture that I appreciated so much.

Fast forward to a few months after the breakup, she got a new boyfriend. But here’s where it got interesting: she and l were still catching up sometimes. To be clear, we were just friends at that time. There was no romantic stuff going on between us. However, her boyfriend didn’t like our closeness. He got pretty upset whenever she visited me. Her boyfriend and I never met face-to-face, but we talked once on the phone.

It wasn’t even about their relationship and the fact that I had become a ‘headache’ to them. It was rather about; I think a job opportunity or so that the boyfriend was considering elsewhere in the city where I lived at that time. After that call that day, I knew it was all going to be good between them.

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Even though she and I were still catching up, and she came over to my place a few times, we never did anything that crossed the line offriendship. Sure, we might have shared a moment that could seem more than ‘friendly’ to someone on the outside – like a quick peck just about 1 or 2 cm away from the lips, or an intimate hug that lingered a bit too long – but it never went beyond that. We might have edged close to the territory of a romantic connection, but we always managed to stay within the realm of the “just friends” zone. We both understood and respected that we had moved on to new chapters in our lives.

A Guy Caught Us Doing It And Started Raising An Alarm

I’m sharing this because I think it’s important to know there’s another side to these situations. Just because someone is still friends with their ex doesn’t mean they’re cheating or thinking about getting back together. As seen in our case, we genuinely cared for each other’s well-being, without any sexual penetration or affair.

That said, I know not everyone can handle this kind of friendship, and that’s perfectly okay. Everyone’s different. But let my story illustrate that it’s possible to have a healthy friendship with an ex, even if it might be misunderstood by new partners. It all comes down to trust, respect, and boundaries.

—S. Agyapong

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