If you haven’t read the first part of this story, here’s the link. Kindly read it before starting this one.

It was the year 2020, at the peak of the pandemic. My mom was battling with Covid. Her health was failing each day. I was scared. You look at the faces in my house and you realize that we were all scared. The sad thing was, we couldn’t see her or visit her to find out how bad or how worse. We could only talk to her on phone and imagine her situation through her voice. It was a new disease. We didn’t know whether or not she was going to survive it. The news on the radio didn’t help. The daily update made things worse for us. I woke up each morning thinking of life without my mom. “How am I going to live without her? How is life going to be when I walk home in the evening and she wouldn’t be here to respond to my greetings?” I would then look up into the sky and say, “God, please make a way. Make her live to enjoy the fruit of her labor.”

Out of sadness, I went to Facebook and wrote, “Dear friends, please pray for my mother. It’s getting hard for her each day. When you say a prayer today, remember to mention her to God. She needs his saving grace now.” A few minutes later, people started commenting with their prayers and good wishes. “She’ll sail through no matter the storm.” “God has heard your prayer and will do accordingly.” “He knows the desires of your heart and he’ll do it so you give him all the glory.” The comments kept pouring in. I read them one after the other until a different comment dropped in. It said, “Petra, please check your inbox.” Guess who sent me that message…

Kobby!

We hadn’t talked for over two years. When the incident with Amina happened and I wanted to move on completely with my life without looking back, I blocked him on so many places. I guess I forgot to block him on Facebook because he wasn’t someone who used Facebook often. He was on Messenger all the time chatting with women but he never said anything on his timeline. Maybe that’s why I forgot to block him on Facebook. 

So I rushed into my inbox to read what he had sent. He said, “What’s wrong with mom? I hope it’s not as serious as you’re making it sound.” I answered, “It’s serious, trust me. She can’t even talk on the phone. She’s losing her voice and I know if her voice goes, she’ll go too. I can’t sleep, Kobby. I can’t do anything. All I need now is prayers.” He said, “Wow…your mom shouldn’t do that to us. She’s a good woman and deserves better than this. Why do bad things happen to good people all the time? Don’t worry. She will be fine. I will be praying for her too.”

The battle was getting hard. We needed everyone’s prayer. Even prayers from a cheating heart like Kobby were needed at that point in time. 

When we were dating, he met my mother sometimes. The first time they spoke, it was about the rumors about his womanizing way of life. People had told my mother to advise me to stay away from him so when my mom met him that day she said, “Abrantiɛ, I’ve heard a lot of things about you. I hope it’s not true. If they are true, I wouldn’t mind sacking you from my house. The thing is, I usually don’t listen to gossips. I judge only the things I’ve seen. If what they say becomes true, I will personally make life difficult for you.”

Kobby has a face of an angel and the voice of Lucifer before he became satan. He talks slowly and is a little bit shy when he meets you at first. You wouldn’t believe he’s a sinner if you judge from his appearance. My mother mistakenly judged from the way he looked and thought what people were saying were lies. I didn’t confirm his infidelity to my mom even when I found out it was true. I loved him too much to allow my mother to come between us. When we broke up, I didn’t tell my mother the reason why we broke up. 

So Kobby called me every morning, asking about the health of my mother. In the evening, he would call and ask if we’ve spoken to her and how she was faring. One later afternoon, I was sitting on our wall facing the main road to our house when I saw a guy approaching. He was holding two bags in both hands. He was wearing a nose mask but I could see familiarity in his posture and the way he was walking. “Kobby? What he is doing here?” He got to where I was sitting and said, “I thought I wouldn’t meet you in the house. I was just passing by to drop this for you and leave. Good to see you.” I said, “But we spoke this morning so why didn’t you tell me?” He answered, “It was meant to be a surprise. You said you’ll go out in the afternoon. I didn’t think I will see you here” I said, “Goal achieved. I’m surprised to see you here.”

The bags contained groceries. All my favorite things were in there. I said my thanks and we sat to talk for a while. At that time, my mom was doing very well and we had gotten the news that she would be coming home soon. He was happy to hear that and promised to come around when my mother finally comes home. A week later, he came back. The reason was my mom. She had been discharged. A few days later, he came back again. So it pricked me, “What is he doing all that for? Why is he suddenly all over my space without any explanation?” So we talked about it.

“Kobby, what is happening? You call often. You come around very often too. Is there something you need? Talk to me.”

“Nooo, there’s nothing that I need. I just feel like…feel like…you know we were apart for a very long time. Now we are here and I want to be closer that’s all. Nothing more.”

“I know you Kobby. There’s something. Just feel free and talk about it. I don’t bite.”

“Believe me when I say there’s nothing behind my coming around or calling often. It’s just what I’ve explained to you.”

If you know Kobby as I do, you’ll know there’s one thing he’s good at. He’s very calculative and will only strike when the iron is hot. I had no intention of going back to him. For that I was sure. I wanted to know his intention so we agree on how to live our lives going forward. He didn’t say anything. I pressed for days but he didn’t make any attempt to explain his new moves to me. He shifted his attention to my mother. He would call her and they’ll talk. He would come around and talk to her for several minutes before he gets to me. So one day I went straightforward, “I don’t like your new ways of doing things. You can’t just appear from the blues and decide what to do with us. There’s no way for us to get back together. If that’s your intention, then you should abort the mission.”

That opened the way for us to have a deeper conversation. He was blank, “I want you back. I’ve always been looking for a way to get back since you left. It’s been over two years. You said you learned your lessons but trust me, I learned my lessons too. I’m a better man now but don’t believe me. Just give me a chance to prove it to you.” I responded, “A better man? What happened to all those women? I don’t want to mention names. You know them. What happened to Amina? All these women and you still walk here to come and tell me that you’re a better man? If better men are like you, then I don’t want one for myself. I’d rather die single.”

We went to and fro with it. You could see repentance in his face. His demeanor and the way he approached subjects looked different from how I knew him to be but I couldn’t just fall for the peripherals. A man like Kobby ought to be dined with using a very long spoon. I told him if that was his plan, then he should give up. I told him there was no way I was going to allow him back into my life. “Once bitten (read as beaten) twice shy.”

He kept calling and kept coming around. Each time he was around, I brought back bits and pieces of the past. How he abandoned me after the beatings. How he didn’t care to even check up on me. How I fought for his love but the best he could do was fight for the love of others and ignore me. All he said was, ‘I’m sorry for who I was those days. A lot has happened to me. If chasing women and changing them like diapers could help a man become rich, I wouldn’t be here by this time. I said I’ve learned my lessons. You’re the best among all the women I chased. I don’t know why I didn’t see that but it’s all good. It’s the reason why after everything, I’m still at your door.”

I’m single. I’ve had two failed relationships after I left Kobby. I told myself, “Maybe this relationship thing isn’t for me.” I was giving myself a break. I was leaving everything behind to concentrate on myself—build the woman I am so I could attract the things and men I deserve in my life. Months after staying off the game, I only attracted an ex I wasn’t ready to have anything to do with. The flames may die but trust the little fire that stays under the ashes. Those ones die-hard. I have to accept that I still have something for him but it’s the man he used to be that scares me. So I say no. I said no yesterday and said no today. I will wake up tomorrow morning and say no. No is the default answer but it doesn’t stop him from coming.

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The reason I’m sharing this update is what he told my mom weeks ago. I wasn’t home when he came around. When I came back in the evening, my mom told me what he said. She told me, “Kobby was here today. He came with another guy he said was his senior brother. He says he’s ready to marry you but you don’t want to look at him because of what happened a couple of years ago. Why don’t you forgive him and give him another chance?”

I screamed, “Mom, because of this guy, I was beaten. You remember when I was admitted to the hospital because of a fight I had with a girl? I didn’t give you the details. That girl beat the hell out of me because of Kobby. If I died that day, would he have been here acting all cool with me?” My mom laughed at me. She said, “So all the things you told me those days about the fight were lies? Should I also be angry and decide not to trust you again because you lied to me?” She kept laughing. She said, “He may be real this time. He brought marriage. He’s serious. So think about it well.”

You’ve read my first story and how everything went. Would you have given him another chance if you were in my shoes? Let’s forget that he said he has changed. Let’s forget that he came talking to my mother about marriage. Let’s concentrate on his action when I was beaten. Would you look back at the pain and still say yes to him? Please help. 

–Petra

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