If you haven’t read the first part of this story, here’s the link. Kindly read it before starting this one.

My husband wanted to do everything within his power to keep the marriage going on. There was not a single day that he didn’t come knocking on my door; “Akosua, the downfall of a man is not the end of his life. I had good plans for the two of us but it’s unfortunate things didn’t go according to plan. The harm is already done. Let’s salvage what is left.” Of course, I wasn’t ready to listen to his motivational speeches. I told him to move on and salvage what is left of his life and not mine; “Both of us are sinking. I can handle myself so keep swimming. We’ll meet at the shore.” I told him. 

It didn’t stop him from coming. He went to my parents and made a beautiful submission to them. According to him, all was not lost. He made some money that would be transferred to him. He would start a business and later work toward traveling to another country. It looked like my mother fell for those dreams so she came to me one dawn and told me, “Take him back. He’s a good man facing the bad side of life now. It’s not the end. He has something coming. Enough money he can start a business with. Help him to establish so the two of you can enjoy the fruits later.” I wasn’t going to argue with my mother. My father did the argument on my behalf. 

He said, “Seven years, Adwoa. Seven good years he had been away. Now he’s here with nothing in his hands. Only a promise of something that is on the way coming. He promised to come for her and he didn’t come. What shows he’s telling the truth now? He doesn’t even have what it takes to rent a place. You want him to come and leave off our daughter? That would be cheating. We can’t sit and allow that to happen. If she says she doesn’t want the marriage, then we have to support her. There was no marriage after all. It only existed in our minds, not even on paper.”

He came with his family one afternoon to seek an official declaration from my family. Again, his family lobbied for me to accept him as the husband I married. When he had the floor, he made concrete appeals for me to change my heart. He appealed to my parents to help him get me back. When I had the floor, I told him, “I’m already seeing someone else. Even if you came with luggage full of gold, I still won’t have accepted to stay in this marriage. I’ve made up my mind and have told my family to return the drink you brought to seek my hand in marriage. I’m not being wicked or trying to pay you back. I’ve moved on long ago and I want you to move on too.”

That day, they performed the traditional rites for the dissolution of the marriage. A week later, he was at my door knocking. I welcomed him in and we talked. This time he went deeper than he had always been. He said he was happy the way I’ve stood my ground; “Now that the old marriage had been dissolved, why don’t we start a new one. We can marry properly. You’ll be there and I would be there in person. We’ll right our wrongs and start a new life.” I asked him, “In what language should I communicate my answer so you’ll get it once and for all that we are no longer together? I started sleeping with someone a year ago. I broke the bond that binds us together when I decided to sleep with someone else while the man I married hadn’t even had the chance to see my nakedness. It’s not possible dear. Just let it go.”

He sat there for a while. He asked me, “What are you cooking?” I answered, “I’m not cooking. I’m heating some stew I cooked yesterday.” He said, “If you have some rice, kindly add some stew and give me some.” I sighed. I went to the kitchen, cooked rice, and served him. As he was eating, he was talking inaudibly to himself. I watched him. I pitied him. I just allowed him the peace to enjoy his meal. After eating everything, he thanked me and left. He didn’t come to my place again to beg. I saw him once in a while and we waved at each other. 

I put up a strong face anytime I saw him but I was also hurting on the inside. No matter how strong you are, the life you waste always comes back to haunt you. I was twenty-seven years. I had many suitors. Men who were crazy about me and would lay on the floor for me to walk on them. I didn’t look their way but settled for someone abroad believing he would come for me and live in the snow with him. I think of it and I smile—sad smiles and blamed the kind of mind I had when I was twenty-seven.

But life goes on so I moved and closed that chapter of my life. There were fingers pointing as I walked around. Some of the men I turned down came back to me trying to get me to say yes to them though they were married. I didn’t look at them twice. They thought I was desperate and would fall for anything. No, I wasn’t. I had dreams of living my life fully with or without a husband. 

And then I met Will. Will for short. William for long. When he proposed, I told him, “I don’t have time to stay a girlfriend for long. I like you too but I’d rather fall for your future plans than fall for who you are now so tell me, what’s your plan for this relationship if I say yes. He turned into a songbird. A canary. He sang his dream of settling down with me as soon as possible if I say yes; “Look at me. Do I look like a boy who will love to stay as a boyfriend forever? I’m a man. Had it not been women who lied to me, I would have been married by now. No time to waste. Get to know me for who I am and accept to settle with me. That would be all we need. 

So I said yes to him and a relationship took off. Will is a perfect gentleman but because of what I’d been through, I was looking at him closely before I could commit heart and soul to the relationship. Four months after I’d said yes to him, I had a call from George. Do you remember George? The bird that wouldn’t fly away even when the cage was opened. Yeah, old George. Married-for-seven-years-to-a-wife-who-lived-abroad George. He called that day and he said he wanted to see me. In the evening we met. I sat next to him and he took my palm and started caressing it. I said, “George, you still haven’t said a word since we got here. There’s a reason you called. What is it?” 

He said, “My wife. She’s seeing another man. She’s pregnant for him.” I screamed, “What?” He said, “Yeah, that’s what’s happening now. She has asked for a divorce and I’d granted it. I Know she wanted a reason to get a divorce that’s why she got pregnant. She knows it’s the only way I would grant a divorce quickly. So we are on it now. What you said is true. I should have listened to you when you told me. I thought I would sit for another year and see what would come out of it. Now see me. I can’t go and I can’t come. I’m stuck here.”

I said sorry to him over and over again because that was the only word that came to mind. I’m not good at consoling grieving friends and it showed that day. After everything, he asked me, “I’m free now. I won’t even wait for the divorce to be completed. I want to move on as quickly as I can so I want to ask you, do I still have a chance with you?” The answer came out of nowhere, “George, I’m already in a thing with someone else. What took you so long?” He answered, “Hope. I thought my story would be different.” I said, “Too bad. I said yes to him just a few months ago.” He said, “You still haven’t gotten anywhere with him. Why don’t you give me a chance then?” I replied, “He’s a man just like you. His heart is in it. I can’t play with hearts like that. They did it to me and I didn’t enjoy it. I won’t do it to another.”

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I don’t know how George took it but somehow he felt he had a chance so he kept coming back while the love between me and Will kept growing. I kept saying no but he kept coming and coming until I decided to block his contact. Will Traveled to the UK. He said he was going to spend just one month. Just when he was about to come to Ghana, the UK went on a lockdown. That was the most difficult time of my life. Because of what happened between me and my ex-husband, anything abroad got me triggered. When we talked, he sensed the anxiety in my voice and told me, “I will come, just trust me. Let’s pray all this would be over soon. You’ll see me.”

And then Ghana too followed suit, locking our borders and everything. When he could have come, Ghana was also under a lock. I told myself, “There goes the end of my love story.” But the lightning doesn’t strike the same place twice so when the time was right, he came back. You can imagine my joy that day when I found him. We are still together. Going through counseling now. Our marriage is in March. This time around, I’m going to get married the right way. My husband would be there in person. He would tuck my arms in his armpit as we walk the aisle.  We would be declared husband and wife.  We would go home and consummate our marriage just as it happens in every proper marriage. I’ve been given another opportunity and I’m going to make every inch count.

My ex-husband? He’s still there, waiting for a breakthrough. The money he talked about hadn’t come. The life he said he was going to start hasn’t picked off yet. We still see each other every now and then and we wave at each other. Like my mother said, “He’s a good man at the bad side of life.” I don wish him evil. I pray he breaks through mold and be happy again so someday when I’m pointing at him as my ex-husband, I can point at someone I would be proud to call an ex. 

—Akosua

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