My girlfriend has a temper. I knew right from the start that she had it. It was soft and innocuous sometimes. She would shout when provoked, but when she caught herself, she would quickly shift to calm. She told me, “Forgive me. I picked it from my mom and my upbringing. I’m working on it.”

I saw the effort she put in, and I loved her for that. Some women will tell you, “Take me as I am,” but she didn’t say that. She admitted the problem and told me she was working on it. I did my best not to provoke her, but you know how life is. Sometimes I went overboard, and it made her angry. When it’s my fault, I apologize quickly.

But honestly, most things she got angry about weren’t my fault, and even if they were, they weren’t things to be angry about. I loved her. She loved me too. She went out of her way for me often. I reciprocated. And to be honest with you, when that girl isn’t provoked, she’s the sweetest person you’ll ever have in the room.

She knows how to treat a man when she’s not angry. She knows how to mention my name in a way that makes me feel safe. She tells me what’s hers is mine, and she proves it with action. She’s not the kind of woman who will wake up one morning and ask you to buy her a wig or send GHC500 urgently. She loves that I give, and I give what I have.

Apart from her anger, she’s someone everyone would love to have by their side. Nothing is perfect. I know that. You know that. So I’ve taken her temper as the spot that makes her imperfect, but honestly, it’s becoming harder every day.

These days, she doesn’t only shout; she throws her hands too. She’ll knock my head or pinch me or box my chest in a fit of rage. She’ll get up and scream, “I’ll face you man to man! Do you think I’m scared of you?”

She’ll remove her wig regardless of where she is. She had a fight with a taxi driver who wanted to cheat us. The driver didn’t want to give us the change due to us because, according to him, we misheard the price. My girlfriend kept asking him to give her the change. The driver said no. I held her hand, trying to calm her down.

She pulled away from me when the taxi stopped, removed her wig, and went to the driver’s side to fight. It was embarrassing. The driver erred, but in the end, I had to apologize to him.

When we got home, she got angry that I apologized. She said it was a betrayal. When I also reacted angrily, this girl removed her wig again, ready to fight.

When she’s angry, she’s a different person. She’s never close to who she is whenever she’s calm. It’s like I’m dealing with two people in one body. She went to therapy once. It was her boyfriend then who pushed her to go for therapy. She stopped going after three sessions. She even went to remove her wig with her therapist too.

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I want to help her. She’s such a sweet person. It feels like a curse on her. She knows it but can’t do anything to stop it. How do I help her? How do I take the anger away and live with the sweet side of her forever? She scares me, if I have to be honest.

— Sugar

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