I found my wife in an office where she told me she was the secretary to the CEO. I went to that office a lot and each time I went there, she was the one who helped me get my issues sorted out. Sometimes she made me jumped queues or helped pushed my invoices through quicker so I could get paid in time. We became friends who talked a lot on the phone. When we had the time, we texted each other all day. People who talk to each other often end up becoming lovers so we became lovers.
We dated for almost a year before I got to know her academic background. All along, I thought she was a university graduate, judging from her role at the institution but that day she told me, “No I haven’t been to the University. I got this job through a relative after I completed SHS. I decided to save money to continue my education by you know issues with money. You can’t seem to get enough so you get stuck where the money is but someday I will go back to school.”
I didn’t fall for her because of her educational background so that revelation didn’t change a thing. We dated for two years and later got married. I must admit, how we were going to manage our finances as a couple didn’t come in when we were dating. It was some months after the marriage that I decided to talk about it. She didn’t buy the idea of bringing our salaries together and manage it jointly. Instead, we both agreed to contribute 30% of our salaries into a joint account.” A year later, my wife had contributed nothing into that account. Anytime I asked why, she gave me excuses; “How much is my salary? If I contribute 30% I would have nothing left.” I reduced it to 20% and she still never contributed. She said, “My salary is too small. Let me save what I can save on my own. When issues crops and you need support, I will give what I can give.”
How much her salary was, I never got know.
When we had our first child, I was the one sending him to school and bringing him back. All expected from her was to be home early to cater for the child but no. She always came home late from work giving overtime as the reason for being late. At some point, I couldn’t stand it so I told her, “You always come home late citing overtime as the reason yet your salary never goes up. If you think that job is going o be the reason why you can’t take good care of our child, then you better resign and get a new job.”
Six months later, she came telling me that she had resigned. I asked, “You’ve found a new job?” She said; “No I haven’t. You said I should resign and take care of our child so I’ve resigned.” I thought she was sick in the head; “I told you to resign or I told you to get flexible work and resign from this one?” She said, “However you said it, the bottom line was for me to resign so I have resigned.”
That’s how my wife became unemployed.
I was not receiving any direct benefit from her salary. She used it on herself but it wasn’t that bad. It freed me from taking up those responsibilities too. Two years later, my wife was still staying in the house. Jobless. The problem was her certificate. We both agreed for her to go back to school. She chose nursing training. I spoke to a friend who knew someone who could help her gain admission. One day that friend called me; “Senior, your wife ein grade no good oo. She for write like four papers again if she really wants to be admitted into nursing training.”
English F9. Maths F9. Science E8
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She started attending remedial classes. Apart from paying for tuition and books, I had to give her extra money for lorry fare. Soon they wrote the exams. When the result came, she brought it to me. English F9. Maths F9. Science D7. I told her, “So you attended the remedial but you couldn’t be remedied?” She answered, “Didn’t you see what I did in Science? I will write Maths and English again next year. Next year came and she did write again. The results came; Maths F9. English F9. She said, This year the papers were too difficult. Next year would be better. She did write the following year and got the same results.
As I write this, she had given up on remedial classes and she had given up on job search. She’s not ready to engage in any informal economic activities too. All she wants is an office job. She sleeps, wakes up, eats, watches Tv and sleep again. After sleeping all day, I would come home from work and see no food in the house. You ask her why and she’ll tell you, “I’m tired of cooking every day.” She doesn’t go anywhere but has the luxury to be tired. She wants a new wig, new clothes, wants to go out in Uber and come home in Bolts. All at who’s expense? When I say no to her, she would tell me, “I’m a woman and have needs. If you won’t provide, who should? Or I should go out there and look for Papa no?”
Her sense of entitlement is what’s killing me but I’m managing. I don’t know how long she intends to do that but I know someday something would break the camel’s back and it would not be able to walk under its load. When that day comes, I hope I would be blameless.
