When I and George started getting closer, my friend Mansa whispered into my ears, “Be careful of that guy. What I see in his eyes is dangerous.” I asked, “Really? But he looks like a calm guy to me ooo.” She answered; “I was in this church before you came here. I knew George way before you came into the picture. I know when he’s looking for prey. At this moment, it looks like he has his eyes on you. You’re going to be his next meal.” 

People talk about people. Sometimes they get it right, sometimes they get it wrong. It’s the reason you don’t have to allow someone’s experience with another person to deter you from knowing them for yourself. I’ve known George for a while. He didn’t look like someone who could do what Mansa was insinuating so I kept getting closer to him and he kept meeting me halfway all the time.

One day Mansa asked, “Has he proposed yet?” I answered, “No he hasn’t. Why do you think he will propose? A man and a woman can’t be just friends?” The way she kept asking about George got me curious. She was very fine with George too. They meet, they talk and they laugh. When the two of them are together, you wouldn’t suspect that Mansa could say something of that sort about George. So I asked George, “You and Mansa…have you ever fought before?” He had a lot of good things to say about her. How they grew up together in the Children’s choir and how they both stayed together when they traveled for a program.” I asked in my head, “So why is Mansa always speaking ill of this guy?”

Mansa was right to a certain extent. George indeed wanted me to be his girlfriend but he took his time to propose. I saw it in his actions and the way he tried to hold my hand each time we walked. He was a different man when with me than when with his friends. I saw it coming so the day he proposed, I wasn’t surprised. I told him to give me some days to think about it. “You’re one person I like very much as a friend. I don’t know how this change in dynamics will affect us. Just give me a day or two to think about it.”

I called Mansa. I said, “Here is your stone. So George finally proposed. You were right about that.” She said, “I told you. I know that guy. He’s like an open Bible in my hand. I knew what he was going to do from the way he looked at you.” I asked, “So what do you think?” She answered, “Let me tell you something I’ve never told you before. He proposed to me some time ago and I said no. He pursued me for over a year and I kept throwing him off. He’s not my kind of guy. I could love him as a friend but I couldn’t bring myself to love him romantically. He begged and told other people to convince me for him. I said no. I had to embarrass him in front of the choir before he finally let go.” 

I was confused for a while. I asked her, “So, you think he’s a bad idea?” She answered, “I can’t make that decision for you. I didn’t like him but if you do, you can consider him.” I went to George and asked him about what Mansa said. He said, “Oh that was long ago—I think three or so years ago. You were not here and she was here. I won’t lie to you, I liked her. She didn’t like me so I stopped pursuing her. That was it. We’ve been friends since then. What did she tell you?” I answered, “She told me exactly what you’ve told me. I just wanted to be sure.” He asked, “So you’re also going to say no to me because of that? Trust me, you were not in the picture. If you were, I would have chosen you without a blink.”

Two days later, I said yes to him. He had been nothing but an amazing friend to me. Good friends become good lovers so I gave him a moment in the time of my life to see what would happen. Our love was perfect because we basically loved the same thing. We loved the same movies and sang the same song. We had a lot of common interests so finding something to love and do wasn’t difficult for us. Mansa saw us loving each other and said, “You two look good together. It’s good you didn’t listen to me. He’s not a bad person after all.”

A year later, George traveled abroad. I was at the airport with him. He cried and I cried. We took all the photos that could last us a lifetime. He gave me assurances and I gave him back a lot of that too. I watched her walk out of sight while I walked away with my broken heart. He gave me his black T-shirt and it became my nightie. I wore it for many months without washing it. Washing it felt like washing his memories away. We talked on the phone often. When Covid came we both were scared. He said, “I hope the world is not ending. Even if it’s our last day on earth, I would love to get married to you before the day finally comes. I don’t want this dream of ours to waste away.”

I’m not the kind of girl that would stand naked in front of the camera for anyone but because of the love I had for him I did. He’ll tell me, “Send me obonsam photos and I will rush to the bath and take crazy photos for him. Sometimes we’ll watch each other live on-screen and yearn for the things our hearts can’t reach. He’ll touch the screen and I will touch the same spot where his fingers are. He’ll ask me, “Do you feel anything?” I will say, “It’s like magic running through my hand. Can’t you jump through the phone and be here for a while?” 

If only wishes were horses. 

After the lockdown, he lost his job. He was always hunting for a job and got busy. We could go for days without talking to each other. He told me he was depressed. He told me he would like to come back home and start all over again. I told him, “Dear, you’re a soldier. You can win this. Just hang in there. The light usually shines brighter after the darkness.” We kept drifting apart because we were not talking as often as we should. I said, “He’s looking for a job. When everything is alright, our love would be right too.” I kept hope alive until one day he told me on a video call, “This whole love thing is killing me. Today I’m sure about you tomorrow I’m not. I’ve heard people talking about your new boyfriend. Someone said you told them I’ve never sent you anything since I traveled. It’s the reason you have a new boyfriend.”

I thought he was joking. “George, me? A new boyfriend? It’s been three years since you’ve been gone but I still sleep in your T-shirt. Who do I need again?” For two months, he kept talking about what doesn’t exist. One day he said, “I’m tired. I want out. It looks like I’m not even coming soon so what’s the point? Stick to that guy and be good. I will be good too.”

That was our last call in January 2021. He didn’t pick up my calls again and didn’t respond to my texts. He even blocked me on Whatsapp and directed my calls to voicemail. Hearts break in a day. It will take a while to heal but it heals eventually so I moved on. The hardest thing to part with was his T-shirt but one day, I poured kerosene on it and put it to flame. As it kept burning to ashes, my heart kept rising up from the ashes like the phoenix from the pyre. I moved on. Mansa was there to wrap her arms around me. She said, “You don’t lose when you love honestly. It wasn’t yours right from the start.”

In December 2021, Mansa updated her WhatsApp status, “What’s yours would always come back to you.” I wanted to be funny so I said, “You haven’t lost a boyfriend before. You’ll know they never come back.” She sent laughing emojis and I sent some. All that while, I had relocated to Dzorwulu. From Dzorwulu To McCarthy is too far for me to go to church there every Sunday but I heard the rumors of Mansa’s wedding. I thought it wasn’t true because I would have known from her if it were to be true. It was February 2022 when a friend asked me if I would be coming to the wedding. I said, “She doesn’t want me there that’s why she didn’t invite me.” She asked, “Does that mean George also didn’t invite you? I thought you guys were friends?”

“George? What has George got to do with it?”

“Don’t you know she’s getting married to George?”

“George? You mean my own George? When did he come back and when did they plan to marry?”

I was there at the wedding. If I didn’t see them with my own eyes I wouldn’t have believed it. I was in the front seat witnessing their deception. After they exchanged vows, they turned to face the church. I and George’s eyes met. I smiled and nodded my head. He turned away. Mansa saw me and he looked at the ground instantly. The night after their wedding, I created a Whatsapp group and added them. I said, “Congratulations on your marriage. You two are the real magicians but trust me, I don’t wish you well. It doesn’t mean you won’t have a great marriage. You may. I only want you to know that there’s one person in this world who wishes you a huge failure in this marriage.”

I woke up the next morning and I saw, “Mansa left.” “George left”   

—Phoenix

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