When The Man You Love Uses Your Phone Secretly To Borrow Money From MTN QwikLoan

Our relationship was only three months old when he borrowed money from me. He sounded desperate. He said his mom needed the money and it was the middle of the month so he couldn’t raise the amount needed. On a normal day, I wouldn’t give such an amount to anybody as a loan but love doesn’t give you normal days. His desperation got to me so I went to the bank and took the money for him. I should have asked when he was going to pay me back but I didn’t. I believed him and I also believed that love would make him pay back. The same love that made me give him the money. 

He lived life normally as if he wasn’t the guy who was owing me. He came to me often, I cooked for him and he ate my food and also ate me. It was love. The song says “Love doesn’t ask why…” so I didn’t ask why he wasn’t paying me my money. One day he had a call. His phone had to ring severally before he picked up. The person on the other side was so loud I could hear his voice through his phone wasn’t on a loudspeaker. He was screaming. He was asking questions. He was angry about something. My boyfriend started walking away from the room, obviously, he didn’t want me to hear what was going on.

My interest was piqued so when he went out, I followed him with my ears. I stood where I could at least hear his responses to the guy. It was about money. My boyfriend said, “I’m sorry I’ve delayed but trust me on this one, I will pay you at the end of the month.” The guy on the other side would have none of that so he kept screaming, demanding what was owed. I was looking at my boyfriend and was wondering how much he was owing that someone would talk to him the way the guy was doing. When he came back I asked him, “What was that about?” I thought he was going to lie about it or give me a gentleman’s explanation, “Oh it’s nothing really.”

He didn’t say that. He told me the truth, “I’m owing him some amount. It’s been long and I think the several disappointments from my side is getting on his nerves.” I asked, “You borrowed from him? For what?” He answered, “When my mom’s issues started at first, I needed help so I reached out to him and he helped me. He’s a friend. He doesn’t deserve what I’m doing to him but I don’t have the money.” I asked the amount and he answered, “Just GHC600.” He took GHC1,200 from me three months ago but I couldn’t watch anyone disrespect the man I love because of money so I promised I was going to send him the money the following day.

Early the next morning, I sent him the GHC600 through mobile money. Two minutes later he called, “Cee, why didn’t you ask me before sending the money? Nooo, you should have. This is a huge problem you’ve landed me in.” My heart stopped beating for a second. I asked what the problem was and he answered, “I’m owing on that number. MTN QwikLoan. They’ve taken everything you sent.” 

It was like a switch had gone off in my head and all of a sudden I could see things clearly. I asked myself questions and those questions finally landed at his doorstep; “Why would a man owe everyone and everything around him? Is it his character or he’s just in a lot of trouble?” He told me life had been rough and that things would be normal again very soon as his mother was getting better. I asked if he was the only child. He told me he was the only child who had a job so everything came to him. I understood him but I was careful from that day.

He was going to visit his mom one of those days and I told him I wanted to go with him. He told me his mom wasn’t well and it was not the right time to introduce me to her. I told him, “That’s not the point. I just want to go with you and pay her a visit. I can buy one or two things and give them to her. I understand her situation and I won’t push you to do such a thing.” He insisted it wasn’t the right time but wanted me to give him the money to buy those things for his mom. I respectfully said no and he left. When he got there, he didn’t call me until I did but he didn’t pick up my calls. He later told me what I did hurt him so he was angry. “You didn’t pick up my calls because you were angry I didn’t give you the money? Why should that make you angry?”

He didn’t answer me. He came back from his trip with more bad news. “Her situation isn’t getting any better. Can you lend….” I didn’t wait for him to finish his sentence before responding. “No, I don’t have anything to give you. You owe me enough already and you haven’t even made plans to play. How can I give you more?” 

This also brought issues between us. He didn’t talk to me for some days. I was the one making the attempt to get him to talk. Love is like that. We fight, we make up, and we love again because humans are not perfect. But most importantly, I decided not to give him any more money until he pays what he owed me. 

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One day I had a message reminding me to pay what I owe MTN. I thought it was a mistake or it was one of the tricks of those scammers so I ignored it until someone sent me money and an amount was deducted. I got furious and called the MTN helpline. “How can you guys do this to me? I’ve never borrowed money from you guys. I don’t even know the process so how can I owe you guys?” He was patient with me. Very patient. Even when I was screaming and making a fool out of myself, he didn’t lose his composure. He went through my account and gave me all the details. “On this day you borrowed this amount from us and you transferred the same to this number.” 

The number he mentioned was my boyfriend’s number. I thanked him and hang up. I knew what the problem was. It was my boyfriend who had used my phone to borrow money from MTN. “How could he? How did he know my details? When did he do it that I didn’t notice?” I called him and asked those questions. He was honest with me just like he always was; “Yes I did it. I needed the money desperately but you would not give it to me so I found a way around it. I’m sorry, I will pay when I get money.”

Did they tell you love is slow to anger but when the anger comes it’s more than a tsunami? I was boiling with rage. If he was closer to me, I would have hit him. It’s been over a year since he owed me. He hadn’t paid yet found a reason to owe more? The method he used was illegal and I told him. I was very harsh to him on the phone and even warned him not to get closer to me again or I would have him arrested. Of course, I was angry so I could say anything. 

Days later he came around. He apologized to me profusely and promised not to do it again. I loved his honesty but that was the only thing to love about him. What he did marred everything I had for him and when I wasn’t seeing him, I had enough time to reflect on our journey together. I concluded the relationship wasn’t worth it. I’m leaving him.

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Since I told him I was leaving, he had cried to me, he had done everything to show remorse. In all my adult life, I’ve never had a man tell me he’s sorry, even those who cheated on me and were caught red-handed but this one comes to me, lie prostrate like I’m a god who forgives sins. I’m touched and want to take him back. Maybe he would change if I try harder. Maybe he would turn a new leaf and becomes like the tree planted along the river. Maybe…just maybe. But the other voice keeps echoing in my head; “Men don’t change. They do all that and end up staining your white shirt. Move on and leave him behind or else one day, he’ll steal from your bank account. 

Which of these voices should I listen to? The voice of forgiveness or the voice that’s warning me to fear men? He looks clean but his penchant to borrow gives me more than I can carry as a girlfriend.