We dated for three years but we didn’t break up. He didn’t call one day to tell me we should break up. And I didn’t text him one morning to tell him I was fed up. He travelled abroad for his masters and ignored me. I didn’t bother to chase him around asking why because I was tired of the relationship. Kojo wasn’t a good boyfriend. I stayed in the relationship for three years because I couldn’t leave him. I tried. I said it was over three times but each time I broke up with him he found his way back into my arms.

After school, he wasn’t working. I was the one working. I would cook for him with my own money and even give him pocket money. That was how much I loved him but this guy felt I loved him too much so he started taking my love for granted. I would go to his place to visit and immediately I got there, he would take my car keys from me and drive out. The next time I would hear from him again would be on his WhatsApp status, posting photos of himself and friends chilling. I would spend my visiting hours with his mom, cooking and cleaning until he returned home.

I was trying to prove myself to his mom that I was a good woman so even when it hurt, I didn’t complain. His mom loved me, I think it’s the reason it became very hard for us to break up. Whenever we tried, his mom would call me; “Samira, please don’t leave him. You’re the woman he’s going to marry and I’ll ensure that.”

I would change my mind, not because Kojo came to beg but because his mom begged on his behalf. One day, after another fight, he told me, “It’s my mom who’ll beg me to take you back. Left to me alone, this relationship would be over long ago.”

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I got angry. We broke up. Just as he predicted, it was his mom who called to beg. I didn’t want to disrespect her so I ran back to him. He wasn’t a good boyfriend but in my mind, there was no saint out there and half a loaf was still better than none so I kept going back to him with pure heart and mind, hoping one day he’d be the man I’d wanted him to be. That never happened until his uncle flew him out to do his masters.

He didn’t call or text. I was already fed up so I also didn’t try to get him in my life again. A year later, he was back. He called and we talked. I welcomed him back to Ghana. I didn’t feel any romantic feelings towards him. If anything at all, it felt like talking to a stranger who wanted to be a friend. I had clearly moved on and didn’t want to go back to the same place where I was constantly hurting.

He got a job out of Accra and left. He told me about it and I congratulated him. I was building a new relationship with a guy who dropped from heaven and swept me off my feet so I didn’t give Kojo much attention, except hello and how are you. When he travelled out of Accra for his new job, as expected, he stopped calling and stopped checking up on me. I would see him on social media and scroll past him. I guess he saw me too and did the same.

Two years later, he called to tell me he had been transferred back to Accra and he would want to see me. It was just around the time my boy from heaven had left me. I was vulnerable and had my feelings all over the place so when he called, I met him. I hadn’t seen him physically for years. He had grey in his beard. He looked a little taller than the last time I saw him. He gave me that look that said “I still have you in my heart.” We hugged. He said he had missed me. I responded, “I can’t miss the devil but good to know you’ve missed me.”

We spent about an hour together, by the time I was leaving, he had told me about all the women he met after me and how hard they made life for him. He told me, “You’re my lucky charm. I shouldn’t have left you. It is the greatest mistake of my life to have let you go.” I listened to him with a smile on my lips. I responded, “Good to know all these but I’ve moved on. It will be better for you to move on too.”

From that day, he called morning and evening. He texted during the day, pleading with me to change my mind. His favourite line was, “The devil you know is better than the angel you don’t know but I’m no longer the devil. I’m the angel you once knew.”

He made me start to think about him. I said yes one day in my head only to say no another day. I wanted to be with him but I felt too bruised to start another relationship. I told myself, “I’ll give him two months. If after two months he’s still pursuing me with such intensity, I will say yes to him. After all, people change.”

One month later, the intensity of his pursuit had doubled. He was all over me, pleading and singing to me to say yes to him. I said yes in my head but was careful not to let it out of my mouth. I thought of calling her mother first to know her reaction before I said yes to him. I hadn’t spoken to his mom for over two years but immediately she picked up my call she mentioned my name. She apologized for abandoning me and told me she lost my number.

Before I could tell her the reason I was calling she said, “It hurt me so much that you didn’t marry Kojo. Look at the human being he brought home as a wife. I don’t see her head from her leg. You were the best woman for my son but see what he brought home. Men! They never listen.”

According to his mom, Kojo had only one month and five days to marry. He had even sent his wedding invitation out to the elders of his family. If anybody told me, I wouldn’t have believed it. I asked, “You mean Kojo is about to get married?” She screamed, “Yes! I don’t know how you people do it, I would have sent the woman’s photo to you.”

Immediately after the call, I called Kojo, “When are you going to tell me about your wedding?”

“Wedding? Whose wedding, me? Who told you?”

He didn’t deny it but was interested in who told me. Once I mentioned his mother’s name, he told me someone was calling his line so he would call me later. He never did and never picked up my calls. I called with a different line. When he picked up, I rained down on him heavily. He said, “But why are you angry? It’s not as if I succeeded in sleeping with you before my wedding. It didn’t happen so why are you angry?”

“Wow!”

That was all I could say. It didn’t happen so I had no right to be angry, forgetting the emotional torture I went through for days, thinking whether to say yes or no. “Did he know I was about to say yes? He didn’t know so I forgive him.”

He Called Me On The Phone So I Could Hear The Other Woman’s Voice

He got married and had the audacity to come tell me it wasn’t his fault but my fault for leaving him. It didn’t matter any more so I told him to leave me alone and never call me again. He did call so I did what my heart told me to do. I blocked him. Now he uses his friends to reach out to me. I’ve never seen a relentless demon in my life. Even the devil flees when you pray, but this one always uses new methods to get my attention.

—Samira

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