I saw their marriage. My mom and dad. They fought a lot and made up often. I remember my mom saying, “It’s because of the kids I’m still here with you.” My dad often didn’t reply. Maybe he knew what he was doing. He had a plan and didn’t want to waste his breath. One day, he picked up his things and travelled abroad.
Five years later, my dad came for my brother. I was the next in line to travel abroad. That was the plan. I would go, then he would come for my mom later and live together again as a family. But things changed abruptly once my brother got to my dad.
On a call one day, my dad told my mom it was over. He wasn’t interested in the marriage again and to make matters worse, my brother told my mom that dad was already living with another woman. Mom cried like a baby. For the first time, I heard her begging my dad not to do that to her. “For the sake of the kids, please don’t leave.” My dad responded, “They are no longer kids. They are old enough to live their lives.”
Dad was already working on my travelling documents when the divorce happened. Once the divorce happened, my mom said no to my travel arrangements. She saw it as a tool my dad was using to get at her. She fought vehemently against it. Even when the decision was left to me to make, she took it away from me, screaming, “She’s not going anywhere. Unless you bring a bulldozer to pluck her from my hands.”
So, I never had the chance to go. I was angry at first but growing up, I learned to understand my mom. It was the only way I could forgive her. She blocked my chances for a better life but it was OK. She loved me enough to want to keep me.
It was hard for us to move on when the divorce finally happened. I was broken. Mom was shattered. It felt like the men(my brother and dad) had won, leaving us the women stranded. But slowly, life went on until I also completed the university, had a job and became my own woman. I couldn’t leave my mom behind. Dad was always in touch with me. He still wanted me to travel abroad but I felt it would be a betrayal on my part to do that.
When my mom was moving from her old house to another house, I packed my things and followed her. She rented a big two-bedroom house for us in a prime area I loved to live. She wanted me to live closer to my work. She was doing a lot to make me happy.
The day we moved in, we met a gentleman at the gate. He opened the gate for us and gave us the keys to the house. He didn’t go away. He stayed and helped us unpacked. His name is Maxwell. I learned later that the house belonged to his uncle. He lived a few blocks away from us with his father. I liked him from the very first day. Not romantically but as someone I would love to have around because of his humility and willingness to help.
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For the first month, he always came around to help. My mom had his number on a speed dial. She would call Maxwell for every little thing so Max started spending his free time with us. He would tell us stories about the community, the good people we can deal with and the bad ones to avoid.
One Sunday, when we were going to church, we saw Maxwell and his dad also driving to church. We were behind them but mom drove faster to say hi to them. We dispersed only to meet at the same church. When church closed and we introduced ourselves to the church, Max’s father, who was an elder of the church announced, “They are my neighbours. I’ll be responsible for them.”
So Maxwell’s dad started a talking relationship with my mom. When mom was bored, she would go and see him. Sometimes, Max’s dad would also come around. Max’s mom had died five years prior and the man had been lonely since.
Not long afterwards, my mom started cooking for Max’s father. She would finish cooking and carry it to him in the name of a brother in Christ. Just around that time, I also started growing a relationship with Max. I saw love in his eyes but he was scared to tell me. I’d come to love him too so we hung around each other hoping someday soon, he would propose.
One evening, my mom asked what was going on between me and Maxwell. I should have been honest. Yeah, I didn’t lie when I said Maxwell was just a friend but I should have told her the details but I didn’t. When I gave her the answer, she nodded without saying a word. I asked, “Why did you ask?” She answered, “I wanted to be sure.”
My mom would go out and come home very late. She didn’t have to explain anything to me because you know, mothers don’t kiss and tell but she was very radiant. She could be on a call for the whole night. The only person she did that with was my brother abroad but looking at mom’s demeanor, it didn’t look like she was talking to my brother.
Mom was in love and the only person I could suspect was Maxwell’s father. I asked Maxwell about it but he didn’t see it that way. He told me his father wasn’t in the position to be in love because he was too old. I asked his age and he said Sixty years. I told him, “My mom is fifty-eight years old. Both of them don’t look their age. It’s possible something is going on. Monitor your dad.”
I gave him that information for two reasons. The second reason was for him to speed up things before his dad and my mom could fall in love but he didn’t pick up the clue so he went around being scared of proposing to me. One day, I asked him what was going on between us. “Do you have your heart in this?” He nodded and admitted that he didn’t know how to say it. I should have accepted it right there and then but I gave myself some time to think about it.
The very day I was going to accept Maxwell’s proposal, my mom called to tell me Maxwell’s father proposed to her and was seeking my opinion. I responded, “Are you two not too old to be in love? What for? Are you going to start a new family? Give birth and all that? Love is for kids. Leave it to them.”
I was jealous of their love and was ready to do anything to stop her because her love would destroy our love, I mean me and Maxwell. My mom responded, “Obviously, you’re still on your father’s side. Both of you want me to die lonely and sad. For your information, I said yes to him but we are not kids so we’ll do what’s right very soon.”
I texted Maxwell but he called instead. Before he could tell me what was happening in his house, I told him what was happening in mine. He asked, “So what are we going to do?” I answered, “If they are serious, then we are messed up.”
The days ahead proved they were serious about their relationship. They would go to night service and come home hours later than normal. Mom would be in his car as they go to church. When they returned, he would bring her to the gate and they would be in the car for several minutes before Mom would step out. They were kids again but I thought we still had a chance until one day, mom called me on the phone and said, “Lock the door. I’m not coming home tonight.”
I texted Maxwell; “Let’s forget it. They are too far gone.” Maxwell replied, “Obviously they don’t love us like we thought. If they did, they would leave love for us to play with.”
I still feel something for Maxwell. The guy is too good to slip through my fingers just like that. I see him and I burn a little. He looks at me intently like he wants to eat me with his eyes. It’s love that burns in his eyes but we stand no chance because our parents took the lead and left us behind.
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It’s the second time my mom has taken what’s important to me. First was the chance to go abroad. Second was the chance to be in love with the man I see as perfect. The day they made their affair official in church was when I decided to join my dad and brother abroad. I thought it would hurt her and make her cry that I was choosing my father’s side.
She said, “I know you’ve always wanted to be there. You can go but not until you witness the blessing of our marriage. I wanted to give her a knock and run away but she’s my mother. She deserves her own happiness. Age is on my side. I will find love again in a different man.
—Agnetta
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