We had dated for two years, two broke people who only had dreams and the sky. She had a job that didn’t pay well. I didn’t have a job so she supported me with her meager salary until I got a job. I saw a wife in her because of her patience, support and understanding. When I had a job, which also didn’t pay well, I tried my best to make her feel like the queen she was in my life. I gave her a monthly allowance. She told me we should invest the money so we could marry very soon.

We opened a joint account where we both contributed a portion of our salaries. We didn’t have the world but what we gave each other was more than the world. We didn’t go to fancy places but the love we shared made us fancy. It was all sweet and nice until the guy with a car came into the picture.

She was coming to my place when the guy with a car gave her a lift. I was standing in front of the gate when she got out of the guy’s car. The guy saw me and waved before moving away. Immediately we got in I asked who the man was and she told me he was just a good Samaritan. I asked if she gave her number to him and she said yes. I was uneasy. The type of car I saw and the kind of man who waved at me looked like trouble to my relationship. I begged her not to pick up the man’s calls. “He’ll propose to you. What else does he want?”

My girlfriend didn’t take my advice. I told her not to pick up his calls but she did and she was honest about it. She told me they were talking and had become friends. I didn’t like it one bit. We fought about it. I screamed on top of my voice as if I wanted the world to hear my frustration. “Don’t talk to him. He’ll lie to you about love and make you fall for him. Why don’t you understand this simple issue?”

She answered, “You love me does not mean every man will love me. He’s just a friend. His car makes you feel uneasy but rest assured, he doesn’t like me the way you think.”

We argued. We fought about him. We said sorry to each other. We made love.

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Once a quiet and peaceful relationship had become a turf for war because of another man. Before he came into the frame, we had no reason or desire to fight. He came with the reasons and those reasons put our relationship to a test. I called one night and I was call-waiting. That’s the kind of test I’m talking about. I waited for my turn to talk to her. It took me over thirty minutes to get my girlfriend on the phone.

“I’m sorry. He called me. I didn’t know he was going to talk for that long.”

“Who called you? The man with a car?”

“He has a name. He’s Michael.”

“What were you two talking about for that long?”

She didn’t answer my question. She told me it wasn’t necessary for me to know. We argued. Our love wasn’t the kind we hid something from each other. Why was she hiding what they talked about? We fought and ended up cutting the call on her. The next morning when I woke up to say sorry and good morning to her, I was call-waiting. Again. Ten minutes later, she called. “The man with a car?” I asked. She answered, “He has a name. His name is Michael.”

I said sorry for last night and went ahead to start a new fight in the morning. The guy was clearly taking my space in her life and he was doing it so fast he was ahead of me in everything. He called before I did. And I suspected he visited and left before I did.

She called to tell me she had a problem with her TV. I asked her to send it for repairs. She said it was too heavy she couldn’t lift it all alone. It was a Monday, so I told her I would come for it on Saturday and take it for repairs for her. On Wednesday when we talked about it, she told me I shouldn’t worry because she had a new TV. I rushed to her place only to see a new 52″ flatscreen on her wall. “It’s a smart TV,” she said. “From the guy with a car, I guess,” I asked. She nodded. “Yeah, Michael got it for me.”

I’ve never felt less a man than that day, looking at my girlfriend’s happy face while telling me about something I didn’t buy. I’d fought for too long I thought there was no fight left in me. I asked her, “What’s going on between you and Michael? Kindly be honest with me.”

She went on and on about being just friends and how kind and a gentleman he was. I’m not a boy. I’ve been a boy before but that was too long ago. I’d matured and knew what mature people know. She wasn’t telling me the truth and it showed in her demeanor. Again, I asked placidly, “Be honest with me. I won’t be angry. It helps that we both know our stand.”

“He has proposed but I’ve told him I have a boyfriend. So nothing. We are just friends.”

I went home knowing very well that what I had with her wasn’t as pure as I thought. It wasn’t exclusive. If I had someone like that guy lurking around, there was no way I was going to be at ease. She came home to see me. I told her to choose between the two of us and stick to her choice. “If you choose him, I’ll let you go peacefully. If you choose me, I don’t want him hanging around. You met him a few months ago. I’ve been here through thick and thin. I don’t deserve that.”

She chose him and asked me to understand. I didn’t cry. I didn’t break down. I only wished her well.

She didn’t stop calling and checking up on me. I liked it. Whenever I heard her voice, peace remained still and I was whole again. I was acting like a shell on the outside but I was only a yoke on the inside. She told me nothing intimate was happening between them, which I knew was a lie but I took it as the truth. I called her to come around and she did. We made love and it was the best we’ve ever had. I begged her not to leave me. She said, “I don’t intend to leave you if you don’t leave. I don’t love him that much. I just like his kindness.”

I ended up sticking around as the side man for almost a year. I had accepted my place in her life so she could do whatever with the guy with a car and later come back to me. I was the first but I became the one she hid so no one would know we were still together. Herrrh! Love.

One day she went on a trip with him and I couldn’t speak to her for four days while they were together. When she came back and rushed to my place to say sorry, I told her I couldn’t do it anymore. She continued pleading with me to stay but I’d become the light while she was away. I couldn’t stay in the dark without shining. I told her to go to the bank with me to close our joint account.

Weeks later we did and went our separate ways. She wanted us to do it one last time before we go. She called it closure. She said we should make memories. I didn’t. I deleted her number right there and asked her to do the same.

Over the years, we heard very little from each other until a couple of months ago this year, I saw her wedding photos splashed on Facebook. They got married. She and the guy with a car. I went through all the photos one after the other. She looked happy. A beautiful bride next to a handsome groom. I wished them well in my head, closed the app and stepped outside to look for a better day. It hasn’t worked for me yet but I’ll make it work. Someone stole my help and married her but help always comes in the morning.

— Nicholas

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