I’m dating a married man. We’ve been together for the past three years. He provides. He cares. He’s there for me. I’ve never doubted his love and dedication to me, but I want to leave the relationship and start building something that’s my own. I didn’t want to be with him and still date someone else. I felt it wasn’t fair to him or to the person I might date. So, I was honest about it. I told him I wanted to leave.
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This man broke down, asking what I needed that he hadn’t provided. “It’s not about provision, dear,” I said. “It’s about my future and the relationship I want to build with someone I can call my own.”
That day, he came to my place at night and refused to leave. He was convinced it was about another man. When he finally left and went home, he fell sick. He was admitted to the hospital and stayed there for four days. I had to assure him I wasn’t leaving before he could recover.
From that day on, he started buying things I didn’t necessarily need and giving me money I didn’t ask for. He sent gifts through delivery and sweetened every step I took. I appreciate what he does, but my decision to leave has nothing to do with him or how he treats me. It’s about me and my future.
This time, I told him I’d met someone new and that it wasn’t fair for me to date both of them. “I can’t handle it. I can’t live such a lie,” I told him. He replied, “I’m not asking you not to date anyone. I understand your need for a companion, but you don’t have to leave me. I can manage.”
She Invited All My Friends To The Wedding Except Me
I don’t want him to “manage” because I can’t manage. I want him out of the picture so I can focus solely on whoever comes my way. I’m not happy that I can’t force my way out of this relationship. And given how this man has been a pillar in my life for some years, I don’t want to leave him bitter and broken. I want us to reach a mutual understanding where he leaves knowing that our relationship has run its course.
I want a way—a method—to break free from his grip so I can start anew on my own terms and with someone I can call my own. Help me.
—Eno
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*****
My dear Eno,
We thank God you’ve realized your mistakes. I’ll entreat you to relocate without his consent and cut of all forms of communications to you. Whether he fall sick without hearing from you, he’ll definitely survive it cos his wife and family will be there to help him recover. That will even help you avoid hearing his health conditions. Unless, you still have something soft for him when you hear him going sick.
Doing that, leave with no hint. After relocating, open a new chapter for yourself that will make your sanity at rest.
Remember, relocating mostly helps.
You have to be resolute with your decision. Cut him off cause if not he will fall sick or something can happen to him which will cause you to stay by the time you realise you are old with no man to call your own or even kids. What matters is you have realised your mistakes so take it from there. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a step.
I don’t think she sees this relationship as a mistake but rather one that has run its course. She’s ready to settle down with someone who will give her what she needs for the next stage of her life.
Unfortunately she played her role as a side chick very well so can’t wean him off her.
Life’s different struggles can be real! At least she has an interesting story to tell her grandchildren if she finds a solution to her dilemma.
Life, hmmmmm!
You didn’t need anyone’s opinion when you started with him, why now?! You sound so certain that you did the right thing by dating a married man and endangering the marriage of another woman. You don’t see this as dishonest, why acting all saint now? Cut the crap and spare us the struggle because you know you can date both, just that the reality of life is catching up with you so you want another ignorant man to marry you. Nonsense…
And lemme be frank with you, there is a price to every decision taken, and the price for this one is “no future!”
Stop deceiving yourself with “having a man of my own” or “building a formidable future” because you can’t have a man of your own. Someone is waiting to be a side chick of your “man of my own”. And the worse of it all is that, this man has succeeded in spoiling you with a certain level of treatment that only the rich can afford in Ghana’s economy so don’t go and stress any young man out there because the moment he can’t provide anything close to what this man have you; cash and kind; you’ll destroy the relationship with your expensive expectations
Rightly said brother
Rightly words
Problems always. You are getting older not younger. Relocate and stop deceiving urself with luxury. True men don dey scarce. I just hope he didn’t shift ur womb with material things. GOD protect me from this kind of women.
Cut him off and let him be bitter. He falls sick when you leave him, but he can’t tell his wife that he wants a divorce? And even if he does, it is not nice for you to be the cause of another woman’s broken home. Just leave him, if he remains persistent, then threaten to inform his wife. I can assure that lover boy won’t be able to disappear fast enough. After that, just pray that karma doesn’t come to bite you back in the ass.