We broke up on the night of August 2020. In June 2022 he got married. He married the lady he cheated on me with. That isn’t the most heartbreaking part of the story. I will tell you what is when we get there.
We started dating when a friend of mine introduced him to me to help him sign up for a program. I was then working for a recruitment firm when Jeff came in with his documents waiting for me to sign him onto the program. He was unemployed and that program was going to help him secure a job as soon as possible.
After that day, he called often asking for updates. Asking for updates turned into friendship. Friendship grew into “Give me some time to think about it.” I said yes after thinking about it. He still didn’t have a job and was my boyfriend so I had to make his case a priority to secure him a job. I pushed him up when he was undeserved. I made calls and enquired on his behalf when it wasn’t my job to do so. Love was involved and we often do the dictates of love even when it’s not ethical.
It wasn’t easy. It took me five months to get him a better job than I was doing. We celebrated like we’d won the lottery. The friend who introduced Jeff to me was also there. Fiifi. Fiifi came with his girlfriend, Jacinta. These three (Jeff, Fiifi, Jacinta) already had a solid relationship going on before I entered the frame. We had a party the night after his employment. He had been home for two years after school.
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He put me on a pedestal. Jeff. He showed me off to the world as the best thing that ever happened to him. I didn’t follow any of my exes to meet their parents because I wasn’t sure about them but I did it for Jeff. We had dated for only nine months when he took me home to meet his parents. He sang my praises like a canary. His father blessed me. His mom called me a blessing in his life.
I started looking forward to the future—a future where the two of us would belong together. When he rented his new place months later, he did it with me in mind. I did the decorations and put our photo frames on the wall. One in the bedroom, just on top of the headboard of the bed. The other was placed on the wall opposite the entrance so immediately you enter, you’ll see the two of us smiling in a photo, welcoming you into our abode.
One day I went there and the photo in the hall wasn’t there. He told me it fell so he had to work on it and forgot to hang it. I was wondering how it fell because the hanger was firmly on the wall with no dent or scratch. The bedroom one was there. That was the consolation that made me forget about the hall one.
Months later, I went there unannounced. He wasn’t home. I entered with a spare key and again the photo wasn’t there, even the one in the bedroom. I looked under the bed and it was there. I picked it up and hung it there. The hall one was behind the bookshelf. I fixed it back.
When he came back to see me there, he wanted to explain but I asked no question. I didn’t act angry. I didn’t act suspicious. I asked no questions though there were answers on his lips. I acted normal while he got inflated with guilt. I started looking for the answers and I found it through a young guy who lived in the house. I only have to be kind to him for a week to give me all the information. He even took a photo for me.
When I confronted Jeff, he didn’t fight back. He pleaded for a second chance and promised to be a better man. It was hard but I forgave him. Because it was hard for me to trust him again, we fought a lot. Over little things. Over big issues. Over issues that shouldn’t have been issues. He called me insecure and yet did nothing to assuage my insecurity. He broke up with me telling me he needed peace in his life and I wasn’t that piece of peace.
Less than two years later, Jeff married the same lady he cheated on me with. Now, here’s the heartbreaking part I told you about. The lady is Jacinta’s younger sister. Jacinta was aware they were dating. Fiifi, my own friend was also aware. Yet these guys took me in and treated me like I was one of them. When I caught Jeff cheating, I discussed it with Fiifi. The fool I made of myself.
What hurts me now is not their marriage. What hurts me currently is the emotional burden and psychological scar Jeff left in my life. He’s there enjoying his marriage, maybe being the best husband every woman will ever hope for but I’m here carrying the painful relics of what he did to me. I don’t trust men because of him. I don’t believe a man deserves the best support from me because the one I supported chose someone else. I’m insecure and I’ve lost two good men because of my insecurity but the man responsible for this is out there coasting through life with the wife of his youth.
Yes, you’ll tell me to heal and move on just like my friends always tell me. They pushed me to see a therapist and I did. It’s GHC550 a session and I need at least ten sessions to heal. Do the maths. I’m paying money not because I have sins to pay for but because someone committed sins against me. How’s that fair?
I don’t wish him well. I don’t know how far down I want him to fall but I know he should pass through worse pains than I’m going through. When he prays, his prayer should hit the ceiling and bounce back to break his neck. He should see in a vision that he’s suffering because he made another human suffer. I wasn’t a bitter person but bitterness is one of the relics of our dead relationship. If nothing at all, he should suffer the bitterness he left in my mouth when he decided to stab me in the back
—Ewurama
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Dear Ewurama, sorry for all that you have been through. Insecurity easily breaks relationships regardless of how hard the other partner may try to make you believe him again. My dear, you have to first of all make up your mind to be free from this bitterness before you can be healed else your sessions with the therapist will yield no results. You have been hurt but please don’t let it destroy your chances of meeting Mr right. Please let go wae
Dear forget it and live for your self
Ewurama may God answer your prayers in a thousand fold. May he suffer through out his marriage and may he be cheated upon and feel what it means to be dumped.
My Ewurama time they say heals all wounds. Show yourself some grace, heal and move past this. Your Mr. Right is not to far. Open your heart and find him. You will certainly be OK. Karma they say is sweet. Let’s see how that unfolds. Sending you plenty hugs and loves.
It’s hard and hurts but may God give you the needed grace to get healed fully and bounce back. This too shall pass!!!
Forgetfulness is very important in our life, God created it for a reason, practice it and live happily
Hmmm…. Such an ungreteful personality with traitors as friends… Please, be very strong for yourself my dear…. But please don’t hurt innocent souls because of past experiences,Cus this too shall pass… Let the bitterness go… Take solace in this”even newborns die”…. Yes, they are yet to experience what life actually is., and boom…. They die even before they start living… Open a fresh page for yourself and your wellbeing.. hugs
Dear Ewurama,
I don’t know if you will read this comment or not, but I hope you do. I want you to know that God loves you. He has seen your tears and heard your cries. He will raise you up even higher than you were before you met the man who did this to you, but you have to forgive first. Matthew 18:34&35 state that the king ordered the servant who refused to forgive his brother’s debt be tortured and punished till he forgave. You are suffering, receiving punishment for something you didn’t do, and feeling the pain of torture because of unforgiveness. Please forgive the guy, so you can be free. I was in your position once. A guy who even forcefully took my virginity cheated on me and married the person he cheated on me with, after going to see my family for my hand in marriage. It was the hardest thing I had to do, but I chose to obey God and started praying good things for him. By doing that, I forgave and released him. That doesn’t mean I have any relationship or friendship with him, no! The prayer removed bitterness and pain from my heart and allowed me to meet and marry my amazing husband less than a year afterwards. Why don’t you give Gods way a try? I’m praying for you. You will come out of this giving a better testimony in the near future.
I agree with Akua.
forgiveness will help you make better choices in the future.
Don’t let your life go to proof him right that he let you go.
Don’t waste your time and life waiting for his karma to come because believe me it won’t come.
The things that God do for his children is amazing. I know he has a better plan for you. Haven’t you read stories here about people who married the wrong person.
I will be waiting for an update of your story after the healing process. Cheers
Sorry for all you’ve been through. But this is what I know from experience. When you have such I’ll motives towards someone, you end up hurting yourself more. You’re not free within your spirit. You’re constantly angry and it is transfered to others. You must learn to forgive him, not for his sake but for your own good. You lost good men because the poison from not forgiving him is eating you up. Do this and your spirit will be freed. Then you can be happy once again. God will avenge in his own way and time. Leave it to him
AMEN
Jxt pray God heals u, and live for yourself. I deserve better don’t forget that.
Please, take Akua’s advice seriously. The fact is, bitterness and hatred, love and forgiveness, they occupy the same space. So unless you empty your heart of the ill-will and bitterness you harbor for this guy, you can’t have space for the blessings that God wants to send your way. Who tells you that your life with him was going to be heaven on earth?. Maybe God saved you from something bad for something better. Look ahead and leave the past to the Lord. He will deal with it, that’s His promise. Please cry all you want, and squeeze all the tears out of your beautiful body, but look to the Lord; He is there for the broken-hearted. It’s better to work free with a priest or pastor, good forward, than what a charging counselor. May the Lord be with you, Ewurama.
l am not married. Please l want you to be my married by grace dent
l want you to come back so that we will marry by Grace dent 💐💍
Sorry sis am available for you
Take this as a wrong investment made. Funny enough, the amount involved to see a therapist should have caused an instant healing. Even though u can afford it, it can equally be used for something worthwhile to build ur confidence.
I found myself in a similar heart breaking situation & I had a recommendation to spoke to a psychologist, our first encounter was over the phone but we schedule for a one-on-one session to which he mentioned the amount per session. When I dropped the call, I told myself, Akosua, stop fooling urself na the person u are suffering over has long moved on so why spend that much on trying to get over his betrayal.
At the moment, the popular saying on forgiveness bringing peace dawned on me & I’m super proud I didn’t let that amount go.
Dear Ewurama
I trust God Almighty this message finds you very well.
Why are you compounding this problem? Let me be straight with you, Ewurama you are lacking wisdom. Please pay attention to what my dearest colleagues namely Audrey, George, Akua, Kate and the rest are saying.
It could have been worse. Whatever happened has to happen to open endless fragrance of peace, joy, laughter and happiness into your life. Don’t you know that bitterness, hatred and unforgiveness serve as roadblocks against God’s blessings upon our lives. The bible says that vengeance is the Lord’s and not you Ewurama to pay him evil. So, allow God to do His job at the right time. When you don’t forgive it means that you are sitting in judgment of the Law. You have also sinned before. You pushed up the young man to get the job even against your professional ethics. That action denied someone who duly qualified for that job and you have gotten your fair share. So please forgive the young man and let everything go. All these curses will not help you because you cheated for him. Tit for tat will not help you, please.
YOUR SOLUTION
You don’t attract good things with bad things. Let him go in peace and let in all your goodies.
In all things and circumstances, the Bible says give thanks for that is the will of God for you in Christ Jesus.
Let bitterness go
Let hatred flee from you
Let unforgiveness run from you
FORGIVE HIM UNCONDITIONALLY
AND ALL THAT YOU WANT WILL ARRIVE WITH NO HEADACHES ATTACHED IN LARGER QUANTITIES.
I wish you well,
Ewurama 1 !!!!
l want you to come back so that we will marry by Grace dent. Please l want to marry you
Please accept to be fast planning on date marry with you Grace dent.
Please don’t be afraid to me because am correct a person. Will you come to Ghana soon dear.
l am still single please l can’t wait for you come to Ghana
Grace dent and kingsfordboafo both to plan to marry in Ghana
Grace dent and kingsfordboafo both plan to marry in Ghana
l want you to come back so that we will marry by Grace dent
Please l want to protect my spirit
Please l want to marry you by Grace dent
You and yes l am married by grace dent
Please be fast planning a date to marry me by Grace Dent 💍💐🙏
Please l can’t wait to marry you by Grace Dent