We’ve been together for two years now. We are planning to start marriage preparations next year. That is when my job will permit me to get married. Although I love her and want to marry her, I have seen a few things to give me second thoughts. Throughout our time together, I have had suspicions that she is involved with another man.

Whenever I get these suspicions, I am not able to find concrete evidence to prove what my hunch is telling me. We don’t live close. But whenever she visits me, I go through her. For the past two years I found nothing. I told myself, “This girl is either a pro at covering her tracks, or she is innocent and I am here allowing my insecurities to ruin something beautiful.”

I was really ready to drop all my suspicions and embrace my future with her. I stopped checking her phone for a long time. However when she visited me last week, a little voice in my head told me to check her call logs. Another voice in my head mocked me for even entertaining the thought.

In the end, my curiosity got the better of me. I went through the call log and even went into her blocked list. I checked the last number she blocked, and realized she spoke to the person an hour before she arrived at my place.

I had unwittingly set out on a mission to uncover the truth. And at this point, I had seen too much to back down. I wanted to know the identity of the mystery person behind the blocked number.

I noticed that even though the number was blocked, it was saved in her phone. I checked the contact card and found two numbers saved under the same name. The other one was not blocked so I dialed it. It went through but I hung up before the person picked up.

A few minutes later, the number returned the call. My girlfriend was with me when the call came through. I couldn’t pick up because it was on her phone. The best I could do was show her screen to her and say; “Someone is calling you. Pick up.” She looked at the phone, frowned, and said; “Mtcheew … it’s just someone who is disturbing me.” I pushed her to pick up the call but she refused.

Later in the evening, I took her out on a date. I wanted us to get something to eat, and spend some quality time talking before she would leave for work the next day. While we were together, I asked her to give her phone to me. “I want to make a call but I don’t have airtime,” I said.

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When she gave the phone to me, I discovered that those blocked numbers were no longer blocked. I also found out that she called the very number she refused to pick up in my presence.

Now more than ever, I am very suspicious of her. It’s just unfortunate that I don’t have enough information to tie her to anything. It’s making me think a lot. I keep asking myself if this relationship is worth nurturing.

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How do I build a future with a woman I have little trust for? I mean, if I have to go through your phone from time to time to try and find proof that you are up to something, then what are we even doing.

I keep wondering what to do with the information I have gathered now. My intention is to invite her to my place as soon as possible. I don’t know if I should go through her phone again when she comes or if I should confront her with what I suspect and see if she will come clean on her own. What’s your advice for me? If she is indeed doing something shady, what’s the best way to catch her?

—Nana Kwame

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