There’s an update to this story. If you want to read what happened after this, Kindly follow this link

I and my wife lived together for four years before I got the opportunity to travel three years ago. Our son was two years when I was traveling and it broke my heart when I had to leave my boy behind. I wanted to be part of his life. I wanted to give him the kind of upbringing I never had when I was a boy. My dream was to be everything in his life but when the opportunity came I couldn’t say no because it was something that could help us live a better life. The plan was very simple. I will travel to this place, work very hard and later go for my family. But as we all know, sometimes, life doesn’t go according to plan so I’ve not been able to go for them as planned.

For the past three years that I’ve been here, there had not been a single day that I haven’t spoken to my wife and child. There’s nothing that they needed that I hadn’t gone off my way to provide it. When my son was about to start schooling, I discussed it with my wife. I wasn’t doing well around that time so I told her to get him a school that charges moderate fees. “He’s only a child. When he grows up a little, we can take him to a better school but for now, any school at all would do.”

She didn’t agree with me. She said, “He’s a child but he needs a better foundation to stand on in the future that’s why he should go to a better school right from the start.” She took our son to a school that charges so much more than my budget. When I complained she said, “When you bring the dollars and we changed it here, it’s a lot of money so we can pay.” She ignored my complaints and sent the child to that school. I’m a man. Men don’t complain so I decided to allow it. 

My wife has a job that pays but she doesn’t contribute anything to the child’s upbringing. I send home a monthly allowance. When their rent expired, I had to send money home for them to renew. Sometimes, she even sends me house utility bills for me to pay. She’s my wife. She is the mother of my son. I need to take care of them the best way that I can. I can only do my best. They are the reason why I take up jobs that are beyond my strength. They are the reason I wake up early at dawn to go to work. They are the reason I stay awake planning on how to get enough money to make them comfortable.

One day, a friend in the community my wife lives in contacted me on Facebook. He said, “I don’t need to tell you this but if I don’t a lot of things can go bad. There’s another man in your wife’s life. I’ve seen them around on several occasions. I’ve asked enough questions to conclude that your wife and that man are an item. The funny thing is, the man is also a married man.” After telling me everything, he said, “I’m not saying you should take any action now. You can also investigate and see the truth for yourself.”

So I started calling my wife at odd hours trying my possible best to get something that looked like evidence to support what my friend said. I didn’t get any. I called her one day and put it to her directly and she denied it vehemently. She even cried on the phone stoking curses at the person who gave me that information. She’s my wife so, in the end, I had to choose to be on her side. But I didn’t let things go. I called my junior sister and told her to keep an eye on her. “Visit them without notice and see if you can get any information to give me.”

Last year during the peak of the pandemic she requested a car. It was something we had planned to buy but then it became very necessary for us to get it at that time. She found the car, sent the price and I sent money for her to buy it. In my mind, another need of the family had been sorted out. 

My junior sister called one day to tell me, “There’s a guy driving aunt Dorcas’ car.” I asked, “You mean he drives her around or what?” She said, “Not really. He drives the car as if it’s his own. I’ve been to the house several times that I didn’t see the car. The guy comes for it and doesn’t return it.” I told her, “Keep watching.” 

I’ve never been angrier in my life until that day but to get to the bottom of the issue, I needed to keep my calm.

One morning, after my sister had called to tell me that the car was not in the house, I called my wife on video and asked, “Where’s Kobby?” She said, “He’s watching TV in the hall.” I said, “Let me see him.” Immediately the boy appeared on the screen I asked, ”Kobby, where’s mommy’s car?” He said, “It’s not here. Uncle came for it.” She immediately took him off-screen. She said, “He’s lying. The car is parked outside.” I said, “If he’s lying then take the phone outside. Go and sit in the car and let me see if it’s really there.” She said, “Why are you doing this? What’s the problem?” 

By the time I realized it, the video had dropped. I called again and again and she didn’t pick up. I called her on phone and she said, “My data is finished. Wait let me get some.” I heard from her again in the evening. Where she called me on video in the car. I got very angry so that evening, I told her my mind. “I’m here but I see what’s happening there. Who is that uncle Kobby was talking about? She said, “It’s the guy who comes for the car when the car develops a fault but that guy hadn’t been here in ages because the car is fine.” I said, “You think I’m a small boy? If you don’t say the truth, I will call my brother to come for the car. What nonsense is that?”

READ ALSO: Why I Asked Permission Before Kissing My Wife On Our Wedding Day

For a whole week, she kept telling me the same story until she realized I knew too much to be fooled by her cooked stories. She said, “I need extra money so I usually give the car out to someone to use as Uber.” I screamed, “Liar! What extra money do you need? What don’t I pay for? What do you do with your salary? She started crying, “You’re listening to too much gossip so you don’t trust me again. I won’t say anything. Keep believing in the gossip and destroy our marriage. I know that’s what you want.”

The problem now is that I find it very hard to trust her due to everything that I’m hearing. My junior sister had concluded that the boy who drives the car is her boyfriend because she had seen enough to believe so. My heart is breaking. I know my sister won’t lie to me but I can’t also rely solely on what she tells me to make a decision. At first, it was my friend in the neighborhood. That was about her and a married man. Now it’s a boy my sister is seeing. These two people can’t be wrong. What I’m lacking now is concrete proof which is taking too long to get. 

I’m planning to go for my son soon when I’m in a better position to do so and leave my wife in Ghana for her to do whatever she wants with her life. When she’s tired, she can settle down with any of the men she’s playing with and leave me alone. I think That’s the best thing for now.   

–Cecil

Do you have any relationship experience to share? Email it to [email protected]

NOTE: NO PART OF THIS CONTENT CAN BE REPUBLISHED OR REPRODUCED IN ANY FORM WITHOUT THE EXPLICIT CONSENT OF THE EDITORS OF THIS BLOG