Our relationship didn’t have a strong foundation at the very beginning. Mostly in new relationships, couples enjoy beautiful moments. Some even convince themselves that those sweet feelings will last throughout the relationship. Even if it’s a lie they tell themselves, at least they enjoy the honeymoon moments until reality sets in and everyone starts behaving like themselves. I didn’t even get to experience this fleeting happiness with Bambi. 

We were always fighting about something. If it’s not about an ex of mine or men in her life she called friends, then it was about something I did that she didn’t like. Some of these things are so trivial that I don’t remember them anymore. Yet they were enough to cause big fights between us when we were together. 

People easily walk away from relationships that do not add to their peace but not us. Although we always fought, we stuck together and tried to make it work. That’s the thing about couples who are toxic to each other. It’s like going on a roller coaster ride. It gets exciting at some point, and scary at another but when you get off, it’s the excitement that stays with you and pushes you to get back on the ride. Bambi and I were like that. We knew we were bad for each other but we clung to the occasional good moments we had and kept going back for more. 

We did this for over two whole years. In that period, we had a child. A beautiful baby boy who is now two years old. With our son in the picture, we had to accept that we were not strong enough as a couple. We did not want to raise him in an environment with parents constantly fighting about something. So we agreed to break up and do our best to co-parent. 

I love that baby more than life itself, I can bet my life on that. I was always there for him. I have invested so much in him since he was born. It’s my desire that he grows up having a happy childhood. I want him to remember that he was loved as a child. So I did everything I could as a father to give him that; toys, games, treats, quality time together, and all those things kids love. 

A few months ago, Bambi started dating someone new. This man happens to be a married man who is still attached to his family. I didn’t approve of her choice but it was none of my business. I told myself she is an adult and no longer my woman, so her life her choice. 

I was going to stick with that until I found out she was pregnant for this man and intended to keep the baby. This troubled me. How can you have a married man’s child and have a peaceful life? I felt it would interfere with my child’s childhood. 

One day I told her, “I can see you’ve moved on with your life and you seem happy. I am happy for you and I want you to concentrate on your new man and the family you are making. That’s why I have decided that Jason should come live with me. That way I can take care of him without coming here to interrupt your life.” She didn’t even pause for a second to think about it. She outrightly said no. 

I thought the “No” was enough but to my surprise, she went on to block me everywhere. The next thing I knew, Bambi took our baby to her village. I have never been to that place nor do I know how to get there. Even if I did, how would I find my son?

I was enraged. She took my precious child from me just like that. I wanted to hurt her as much as I was hurting by taking something precious from her as well. So I found her new man’s number and called him. The moment he picked up, I introduced myself and said, “I just want to let you know that even though you are with Bambi she is still my girlfriend. We just hit a little rough patch but now we are mending our relationship. So stay away from her.” The man said okay and hung up.

I don’t know what happened between them but she was angry. So angry that she sent me a message that read; “It’s funny how you are causing all this trouble in my life over a child that is not even yours. He belongs to Mason.” This simple message has turned my heart inside out. 

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Mason is a man she claimed was a friend. She always mentioned him in conversations but it was so casual that I never thought much of him. Now she is telling me he fathered our child? I haven’t confirmed if it’s true but I feel betrayed by her. I have sunk into depression. 

Not only did I lose my woman but I might lose my son too. I can’t stop thinking about the two of them. I asked that we go for a DNA test to confirm the paternity of the child. She told me, “Right now I am busy so I can’t do it. Wait till December when I am free.” I am not happy it would take that long but it’s not as if I can force her. I don’t even know where Jason is.

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I feel like my hands are tied now and it makes me so angry. I don’t know what I would do if it’s true what she said. I am considering erasing someone from this world permanently if DNA results say I am not Jason’s father. It might either be the child or Bambi. This is how low my depression has brought me, the temptation to commit a felony. I feel it is the only way I will be comforted. 

I know it’s a deadly path. That’s why I am here looking for advice. It’s still early and nothing has been confirmed yet. So tell me how I should handle the situation if it turns out all my sweat, blood, and emotions were put into another man’s child. There are so many things going through my head that I want to do to Bambi. None of them are pleasant or socially acceptable.

— Mike

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