Reba is one of the best things to happen to me in the history of friendships. I met her at church one blessed day and we had an instant connection. She sat next to me and conversations started flowing with ease between us. We’ve been inseparable since that first encounter. Whenever it was time for service we would call and text each other to make sure the other person showed up. It was fun to have a sister to share my passion for God with.
Along the line in the course of our friendship, she introduced me to Jonas. She said he was like a brother to her. They seemed very close so I didn’t doubt her. Honestly, I liked Jonas from the moment Reba introduced me to him. However, I couldn’t approach him in that regard. He hadn’t done anything to show that he was interested in me in that regard so I didn’t want to do anything that would make me look desperate in his eyes.
I only admired him from afar until he came to propose love to me. I was surprised because until then there was no indication that he liked me. I thought about it but not for long. This is someone I already liked. The only thing I did was ask for a few days to clear my head. When the time came for me to accept him, it came to light that he already proposed to Reba but she rejected him. This bothered me.
The fact that he expressed interest in my friend and was turned down dampened my excitement to be with him. I kept asking myself what would happen if my friend suddenly decided she wanted him. He wanted her first before moving to me, so won’t he choose her over me? I felt I wouldn’t be able to sleep with my eyes closed in the relationship. I would keep wondering if the two of them were up to something. This was one of the things that made me turn his proposal down.
It’s been six years now since I have known Reba and Jonas. They are still as close as the day I first saw them together, if not closer. To the eyes of an outsider, they can be taken for a cute couple. However, Reba doesn’t want him. I don’t know her reasons but they are still not together.
Anyway, that’s her choice. Me, I want him. Scratch that. I am in love with him. I have been single for the past three years because of my feelings for him. I have actually never dated anyone before. It’s just that it was there years ago that he proposed to me but I couldn’t accept it because of my friend. Since that time, any man who comes my way doesn’t cut it for me.
The men come presenting their best selves. And I take it apart. “This one doesn’t look like Jonas. He won’t do it for me,” I would think while I turned down a good catch. Another person would come. I would hear him laugh and say, “No, this one doesn’t laugh like Jonas. He won’t do it for me.” “This one doesn’t talk like Jonas. The voice is close but it’s not Jonas.” This is what I have been doing for three years now. I know I am doing it because I am just not interested in anyone else. He is the one I truly want.
It Will Be Difficult For Me To Commit To One Person
Every time we spend time together, I am very happy. I like talking to him. I am the only child of my parents so I don’t have siblings. That’s why my friendship with Reba means the world to me. It’s also the reason I like Jonas’ company. It’s beautiful to have someone I share my thoughts and feelings with. I wish I could continue what I have with him but in the confines of a relationship instead of mere friendship.
It’s been years now but I know he is currently single. So I want to have a conversation with him and tell him how I truly feel. My concern, however, is Reba. Won’t she feel betrayed if I date him? After all, we are all supposed to be friends. What if dating him ruins my friendship with her? Also, what if he doesn’t want me anymore and I make things awkward by confessing everything? Are my feelings really worth the risk of losing my friendship with these two?
What do I do in this situation? If it helps, I am twenty-two and about to complete the university. I have zero experience when it comes to love issues. So I need guidance. Please, help a girl out.
—Billie
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You’re right to have all these thoughts. And it kind of looks like you’re between the devil and the deep blue sea. My advice, since you’ve turned him down and you’re actually unsure of what’s going to be his response, and you not wanting to ruin the relationship with your friend, I suggest you just move on. Lots of uncertainties here.
Thank you.
Come clean with Rheba. She’s your sister and she’s got your back. Encourage her to be frank with you If she has any reservations including why she turned him down
Discuss with your friend Reba, know her thoughts and mind about him and if she doesn’t have any relationship with him, let her know what’s with u and Jonas, don’t hide anything from her and that will be a good start. Good luck
Billie, you are a woman. Know how to let Jonas know the way is free for him to choose. Jokingly ask him when he will visit you. Then if you find yourselves alone, ask if he will take you out. If he is responding to your nudges, then put into action a hypothetical conversation with Reba about how you heard of two friends who were proposed to by the same man, one first to be proposed to refused to accept but the second one accepted. Then tell Reba there was a fight between the two female friends. Ask of she thinks the first friend is right to say if the man was not good enough for her, then he cannot be good for her friend. Ask what Reba thinks and if the first friend was right.