Joseph was my first-ever boyfriend. He still is. We were friends for three years before we started dating. I was so sure that I knew him well. That’s why I felt confident trusting him with my heart. And I wasn’t disappointed at the beginning of the relationship.
He treated me like his queen. He took care of me. He was always there when I needed him. He made me feel like I was the only woman in his life. I could beat my chest and say, “My man doesn’t look at other women. I am his one and only.”
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All of that trust shattered when I went through his phone one day and discovered that I didn’t know him so well after all. My supposedly faithful boyfriend was seriously dating four other women. Some of the women were married. Just like me, they all believed he was the only woman in his life. He had money so he knew how to make all of us feel special. When he is not showing proof of his love through his actions, he is turning your head around with his words.
Saying I was hurt is an understatement. When I confronted him he denied it vehemently. “How could think this of me,” he asked amidst tears. Honestly, if I hadn’t seen proof for myself I would have believed his act.
It took a while but he finally came clean, especially when he saw that I wouldn’t fall for his pretense. He admitted everything and apologized. According to him, “I am under spiritual attack. I am doing my best to serve God so the devil wants to destroy my life with women.” I understood him because this is a guy who is actively part of the prayer tower in his church. I felt it was my job to help him overcome his weakness.
So I stood by him, and with time, he cut ties with the other women. This helped make things better between us until he lost his job. He didn’t have savings to fall back on. I wasn’t surprised because I knew where his money went.
Regardless, I took him in. His stay with me was only for a short while. I thought that period would bring us closer but it rather revealed to me that my man hadn’t changed. I caught him flirting with different women via text messages. When I confronted him he admitted it but said it was just harmless flirting. “I am sorry you had to see that but it’s nothing serious,” he said in an attempt to apologize.
After what I have seen, I am not sure there is any future for our relationship. He is thirty-eight with a five-year-old son. I feel someone like him would not change. Right now he says it’s harmless flirtations. Maybe it’s because he has no money to offer the women. What if he starts cheating again when he gets back on his feet? Or worse, what if he leaves me for someone else?
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Now, I am turning twenty-six this April. I want to settle down but fear I will be judged if I leave him now. They will call me the woman who left her man when he was broke even though that is not my reason for leaving.
If it’s about the cheating then why didn’t I leave him the first time I caught him? Well, that’s because he invested in me when I was in training college. He used to tell me, “After all this, you will complete school and leave me.” I told him I would do no such thing. I believe that’s why stuck around — to prove to him that I am not the kind of woman who repays kindness with abandonment.
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However, I don’t think I should jeopardize my physical and mental health just to prove to an unrepentant cheat that I am grateful for his help. That’s why I have started looking for a way out.
He seems to be picking up. He got a job that offered him GHS1,600 a month. It’s a far cry from what he used to earn but it’s better than nothing. He no longer lives with me. He is now with his brother in Kumasi. Also, he has a two-bedroom house in his village. I am just stating all this to say that he is not completely down. Will I still be considered a bad person if I leave him now?
—Kushy
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No. His type won’t change. Don’t allow gratitude to make you a prisoner. You won’t be the first and last person to leave but once the reason behind it is valid you are good to go. Chose your sanity and peace over this so called relationship.
You said his type would change! Are you the Creator of heart[GOD]. Be sincere sometimes. Putting God first in every aspect of your life is the best. Thanks
MAAMEFUA, You need to be jovial sometimes. Note that he helped her in her studies, and she running away from him proves that he his actually true when he says she will run away from him after all this. In life there is challenges, when you keep avoiding the challenges, that means you are not ready to solve it. Madam stay and position your boyfriend the way you want it, TEETH AND TONGUE HAVE ISSUES BUT THERE STILL STAYS IN THESAME PLACE. If you are not ready to change him? Then who do you really want to change him? Running away from him shows you didn’t love him at the begining. Madam stay and change him. NOTE; PRAYER IS THE KEY. Thanks.
Please leave him as soon as possible, a 38 year old man with a child who’s still chasing other women even when he’s unemployed can never change. It is not your job to change him. Your middle name is not Messiah. Your boyfriend is not interested in changing. Just continue to lend him a helping hand as a casual friend and forget about what people will say.
Leave before you cath an std ot even aids. And No, he will never change.
I never expect this would work such magic and so fast. Within 3 days, my husband was back in my life begging for forgiveness. I want to express my warmest gratitude to richard. I’ll never ever forget all the happiness you gave me. I’ll like to share his facebook page (Spiritual Healing Solutions)
Silent beads. I don’t know what your editorial policy is, but I would strongly recommend that you immediately delete such posts that seeks to advertise their own agenda using your platform.