This is my third serious relationship. From the beginning, I told myself that I didn’t want to experience another breakup. Third time is the charm, right? That was the mindset I had, that this one would work out no matter what.

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I was willing to put in the work and do whatever was necessary to hold on to Martin. Even when he suggested I move in with him along the line, I agreed. It’s not something I would do under normal circumstances but he said he wanted me to be close to him at all times.

At that time, the relationship was rosy. Everything felt like paradise on earth. He was sweet and always gentle with the way he handled me, as if I would break if he was not careful enough.

Yes, we had our fights once in a while but it was never anything serious. Just a few clashes here and there because of our differences in backgrounds. Whatever it was, we easily worked things out.

I should also mention that I was unemployed for a few years. When I first told him about it he asked me not to worry. “I will do whatever I can to support you.”

Truly, he has been supportive. I would apply for jobs and hear nothing from them. Sometimes I attended interviews and returned feeling down. Through all this, he comforted me emotionally. If I needed physical comfort too, he would show up. While being my support system he made sure I lacked nothing financially.

All of these factors together influenced my decision to say yes to his proposal that we move in together.

The plan was for us to live together and then get married as soon as possible. However, he was doing all the heavy lifting in the relationship when it came to finances. This made it hard for him to save toward marriage. That’s why I was so happy when I finally got a job.

“Now, I will support my man with expenses. It shouldn’t be long before we put some money aside for our marriage plans,” I reasoned.

To my utter disappointment, I found out just recently that he’s been talking to another woman behind my back.

He owns a company, but he sometimes works as a Bolt driver. For a while now, he’s always in a rush to go out in the evenings to drive. The odd thing about this is that he makes a call right before he leaves. This is what made me suspicious.

I monitored him quietly and picked up the woman’s number. I was calm when I called her. I just wanted to understand a few things. She told me she is a shop attendant at one of the stores close to where we live.

“Can we meet? I want us to talk in person.

She agreed.

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According to her, Martin had told her I was no longer with him. She entertained his attention because she thought we broke up.

“I believed him because of how much time we spend together. And the way he always calls me gave the impression that he was truly single,” she recounted.

I went home and confronted Martin but he was not the slightest bit remorseful. Rather, he is angry at me for finding him out.

Guys, I am a typical traditional woman. I cook, clean, wash his clothes, and give him sex whenever he needs it. What more does this man want from me? What else could I have done to keep him from straying?

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He wasn’t like this at first so I don’t know what changed. Is it that he has grown tired of me and is looking for someone new?

I’ve involved both our families. They are telling me not to leave him.

“He is a man, that’s what they do. Just be patient.”

This advice is not working for me. I can’t stop thinking about the fact that he’s out there cheating. I cry all the time. I want to leave but I’m scared to face the world alone. He has been my person for three whole years. How am I supposed to go on without him?

—Jackie

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