I loved her right from the start, but I didn’t propose. I tried to build a friendship first before making a move. I talked to her every day. I put myself in her space so she could count me among her friends. I did that for months before she started calling me too, or even texting first.

At that point, I felt it was a good time to propose because we had a strong foundation. She had come to know me, and I’d come to know her for who she truly was. I felt safe in her presence, and in my mind, I thought she felt the same.

She told me, “Honestly, I don’t have time for a relationship. I’d rather we keep what we have.”

I took it as one of those things women say when a proposal hits their account. They don’t want to be taken for cheap, so they play hard to get for a while, then later return a positive response. I told her I would wait until she had the time. She laughed and said, “You might wait in vain because I don’t know when I’ll be ready.”

I waited in vain for two months until her actions and inactions told me that indeed she would never be ready for me. By that time, she had totally withdrawn, and I was the only one trying to keep what we had going. When I didn’t call or text for days, she didn’t call either. I let things be because one hand cannot cover the eyes of God.

Six months later, when I thought all was lost, she reappeared with a smile plastered across her face. She was calling every day to ask how I was doing. She would text good morning and be the last person to say goodnight. She would tell me, “Don’t talk to anybody, oo. It’s late, so sleep.”

One day she said, “Do you remember months ago when I told you I didn’t have time for a relationship? I was going through a phase, but now I’m ready. My mind is stable, and my heart is ready to fall in love again. So, if you meant what you said, then I’m ready.”

“It’s been over six months,” I said in my head. But when I responded, I told her to wait until I came back to town. I’m currently working outside of town and might return soon.

My question is, when a woman tells you she doesn’t have time for a relationship, what does it really mean? Does it mean they love you but don’t have the time to be in a relationship, or do they have someone else and can’t have you?

I Accepted His Proposal When I Hadn’t Met Him Physically

And when they decide to be with you after several months of thinking about it, does that mean they had someone, and that someone didn’t work out, so now they are considering you?

I don’t want to be the guy she chose because the one she truly loved didn’t work out. I’ve made a lot of mistakes in my love life. I don’t want this one to be another mistake. This should be the one that leads to marriage, which is why I want to be very sure.

— Duke

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