Richmond is my friend’s brother. I felt I knew him before I even met him. That’s because his sister was constantly talking about him. Every time we catch up, she would talk about all the things her brother was doing. He is not Ghanaian so he was a distant image to me until he came to Ghana to study. He enrolled in our school but he is ahead of us. That was when I got to know him. He is so bright that he has been awarded a few awards by the school. One day, I was with my friend when we ran into him at a food place. He spoke to us, directing most of his questions at me. I was too shy to stand there so I smiled politely at him and walked away.

One day my friend didn’t come to school. So I asked of her from him. That was the day he took my number. He didn’t waste time in letting me know how he felt about me. He said he was in love with me. “I want you to be my girlfriend,” he proposed. I also liked him so I accepted his proposal. This was a month ago.

Richmond is a caring and nice person. I enjoy talking to him always. He is always fun to talk to. Even when I am in a bad mood, he knows the right things to say to uplift my spirit. I started growing fond of him as the days passed. The more time we spent together, the more I liked him. In the beginning, we would meet and talk. He never touched me or attempted to. That’s how I liked it so everything was fine.

I don’t know what got into him. All of a sudden, this guy started acting weird. We would be talking and he would say, “You have this hold on me. When I am around you, I get horny. Even when I hear your voice, something happens to me.” He made me uncomfortable with these kinds of talks. I always found a way to shut down the conversation. I hoped he would take a cue from that but it only motivated him to push harder. He graduated from talking about his sexual desires to asking for them.

Sometimes when we are alone, he would touch me in a way that shows that he is in the mood. To avoid trouble, I would find an excuse and leave. Though I’m not a virgin, I am in no hurry to jump into bed with a man. I have made mistakes I am trying to correct. So if I meet a guy who isn’t ready to wait till marriage, I’ll just show him the way.

I didn’t expect Richmond to be one of those guys who couldn’t wait but he kept demanding that I give it to him. I was honest with him. I told him, “I am not ready to do it until the time is right.” He got angry saying, “You are acting as if you don’t care about my feelings. I have needs.” We argued that day. After that, communication has dwindled.

I wasn’t okay with the way things were turning out. My feelings were deeply hurt. I’m a clingy person so when I get attached to someone and they start misbehaving, it hurts me badly. We started having arguments at the slightest provocation. He is always in a hurry to tell me I don’t care about him. Four days ago, I did something that got him upset. I knew I was at fault so I apologized to him.

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First I texted him my apology. I then followed up with a call. He said it was fine. But I wanted to make sure we were really okay, so I asked to see him. It was around 9 pm but I got into a car and went to his place. When I got there he wasn’t mad. He truly had forgiven me. After a few minutes, he started touching me romantically. We already had a conversation about my celibacy so I didn’t expect him to take it far. But he did. We kissed for the first time that night.

I also got carried away a little. He almost went all the way but I quickly came to my senses and stopped him. He was on his knees, begging me to let him do it but there was so much at stake. He wasn’t even wearing protection. I could get pregnant. I could catch a disease. Or worse, I could loathe myself for giving myself to him.

I pushed him away. He looked at me but I looked away. He started touching me again but I resisted him the way the Bible commands us to resist the devil. After all his attempts to seduce me failed, he got angry and dressed up. I checked my time and it was past 10 pm so I took my phone and left. I was feeling bad for him but angry at myself for even allowing him to touch me in the first place.

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He didn’t see me off. He didn’t also call later to ask if I got home. The whole day has passed but I still haven’t heard from him. It appears we can’t move past this problem as long as we are on opposing ends of the situation. What should I do next? He is asking me for something I’m not willing to give. So should I just end it with him and move on with my life till I find someone better? Or I should give him time and see if he’ll come around? Help me make a decision because I don’t know the next step to take.

—Queen

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