I was a fresh Junior High School leaver enjoying my break from school when this handsome High School boy walked into my life and made himself at home. He was sweet and gentle but I was wary of him. At that age, it had been hammered into my head to stay away from boys. Especially, the ones who looked like saints and had honey on their tongues.

He told me he meant me no evil. “You are a nice girl. I just want to be your friend.” He was in his fourth year of high school then. Winning my trust was a slow process but he was patient. By the time I completely let myself go and started vibing with him, I was sure he was a good person. It was the number one thing I considered when I agreed to date him. “He is someone I trust because I know he has a good heart.”

Four years after our first meeting in 2012, we got married. We were both quite young but we were madly in love. He was twenty-four while I was twenty but we knew what he wanted. I didn’t see a future where he wasn’t a part of it. It was either him or no one for me. So marriage it was.

My husband has been an amazing husband after marriage. He is always present for his family. I never questioned his love for me. It was so glaring that others outside my marriage saw it. They praise me for it all the time. “You are a blessed woman to have such a doting husband,” some say. “I pray God gives me a husband as loving and caring as yours,” others have said.

I assure you that this wasn’t a situation where couples look happy on the outside but miserable behind closed doors. Our home was peaceful. We barely fought or argued. When one person is down, the other person rises to the occasion. That’s how we approach things. Teamwork and partnership.

Recently, my phone got spoilt. He gave me his old phone to use for the time being. As soon as I logged in, his old messages started popping up. I know he likes to keep important documents on his phones. I didn’t want to delete all his messages and risk deleting any of such messages. So I decided to carefully comb through his messages before clearing them.

I didn’t find any documents but the things I found in those messages have altered the state of our marriage. My husband was busy chatting with different women while I was sure I was the only woman in his life. He is the only man I have ever been with but he broke our marriage vows. He slept with the women he was chatting with.

The part that broke me completely was when I read that one of the girls got pregnant. She got rid of it but it doesn’t take away the fact that they made a life together. For that to happen, they must have had unprotected sex. Which means my husband would have brought me a disease if the girl had given him an STD.

READ ALSO: He Married Another Woman After Stringing Me Along For Eight Years

The foundation of our relationship has been broken. Even if I forgive him, how can I trust him again? I feel this whole situation would have tasted less bitter in my mouth if there were signs. At least, I would have said; “So this is why he was acting suspicious.” But there were no warning signs. No shady behaviour to make me suspicious.

I was too pained to pretend I didn’t see anything. When I confronted him he didn’t deny it. He admitted that he messed up. He apologized but I kept him at arm’s length.

I Had Some Hope For Marriage Until He Invited Me To His Wedding

Now, he has gone to report himself to respectable people that we both look up to. They came to see me and urged me to forgive him. “It’s marriage,” they said, “these unfortunate things happen. Consider the welfare of your children before you make any decision.” We have three beautiful children. I had all of them through C.S. One was even an ectopic pregnancy. Did he consider them, or the ways I risked my life to have them when he was cheating?

I asked if I did anything to push him to stray. He said no. I can’t bring myself to forgive him. There’s too much hate in my heart for him right now. What do I do?

— Miriam

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