Before I met Paul, I experienced two horrible relationships. One relationship was with a guy who saw that I was naïve about men. He took advantage of the situation and cheated on me. I was broken when I found out about his betrayal. I wondered what I was lacking that he had to go look for it elsewhere. I searched my heart for answers but I found none. Even in my ignorance, I knew that I was enough. I knew that any man who couldn’t stay faithful to me had no right to be with me. So I walked away from that relationship and never looked back.

My other relationship was with a guy who was bossy. Our entire relationship revolved around him. He wanted to decide everything without taking my thoughts and feelings into consideration. I loved him but I felt suffocated by his overbearing behavior. Every time I looked at him, I would think of my father, and I would shiver. Don’t get me wrong, my father was a good man. He was an amazing dad. However, he was an emotionally abusive husband. I saw my mother suffer silently in their marriage, until my father’s demise. Anyway, I didn’t want to end up in a marriage with a bossy man and suffer emotionally for it, so I walked away from him.

Today, I am with Paul. We have been together for the past three years. He is nothing short of amazing. He is the first man I dated who has shown me that love is a beautiful thing. He has been good to me in every aspect of my life. And our relationship is an answered prayer. The only thing that almost tore us apart was something that happened shortly after we started dating. I used to go out at night with my friends. He complained every time I did, “I don’t like it when you go out at night. You have to stop.” I wasn’t ready to change so I never listened to his concerns. This caused problems in the relationship.

We argued almost all the time about my nocturnal activities. Just around that period, I was going through his phone when I found a chat between him and another girl. “I want you to be my girlfriend,” he proposed to the girl. The only thing that consoled me was the fact that the girl turned him down. Still, I was hurt that he made an attempt to cheat on me. He didn’t deny it when I confronted him. He owned up to his actions and apologized.

He told me, “Because you keep going out with your friends, I am always scared you will leave me. That’s why I proposed to that lady. I don’t even like her. I was just looking for a safety net, in case my fears are realized. Now that it’s all out in the open, I promise you that I will never do something like this again.” He sounded sincere. And I didn’t want him to feel insecure anymore, so I let go of my nighttime outings. We gave each other another chance to make things right. Thankfully, things have been heavenly since then.

We barely get into fights because I don’t go out at night anymore. Paul too hasn’t done anything to give me the impression that he has eyes for another woman. It’s just been the two of us building a solid foundation for our future. However, I have been having recurring dreams about him. In the dreams, I always catch him in a compromising position with another woman. In the first dream, he acted as if he didn’t know what he was doing even though his actions were obvious to everyone. His friends asked him why he could cheat on a good woman like me, and his only response was, “What did I do wrong?” When I woke up from the dream I was concerned. I narrated it to Paul but he didn’t understand it at first. He kept saying, “It was just a dream.”

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However, he came back later and promised me, “I know you must be concerned because of your dream, but I will never cheat on you. I promise.” I believe him, but I have had similar dreams after that. It got to a point when he pointed out that I keep having those dreams because I have trust issues. I don’t think it’s true. I trust Paul. He is an amazing boyfriend, so where from the trust issues?

He wants us to get married. He started talking about it at the beginning of last year. However, after witnessing my parent’s marriage, I couldn’t bring myself to say yes, when he first brought up the subject. I was scared that things would change between us after marriage. So I kept dragging my feet. But through it all, Paul was patient and understanding. He never did anything to confirm my fears.

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I know that I will be happy if I marry him. That’s why I have finally accepted his proposal. Now the problem is the dreams. They have become more frequent. I keep praying about them but they keep coming back. I don’t know what it means to keep having dreams that the man I am going to marry is cheating on me. Google says it means there’s a need in the relationship that has not been met. Meanwhile, everything is so good between Paul and me. I know he is not cheating on me, so why these dreams?

I am confused and worried. I need a second opinion on this. If there’s someone here on this page blessed with the gift of interpreting dreams, please tell me what this means. Is there a spiritual or logical reason for this?

—Senam

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