She was green when I met her. She said she had never done anything sexual with anyone before. Her desire is to keep her virginity until marriage. I love her so I didn’t mind. I told her, “No problem. I am a patient man. I can wait for you until marriage. However, my love language is physical touch. Without it, I don’t feel loved. So we have to at least do something physical things. If you consent, we will take things slow.” She said she loved me enough to bend some of her rules for me.

The first time something intimate happened between us, I didn’t rush it. I allowed her to take things at her own pace. When she was ready to do something beyond kissing, she stood in front of me and took off her clothes. I was also as gentle as possible. We didn’t go all the way but we did other things. I didn’t get to finish but I didn’t mind. I was happy that I got to share those intimate moments with her.

This has become our thing for the past five years. We never go all the way when it comes to intimacy, so her hymen is still intact. We are still young and starting out life so marriage is not on the table for us currently. We plan to get there eventually but we don’t know when. I love this girl so much that even though we haven’t done the actual thing for the past five years, I have not even considered getting it elsewhere. That’s how I am. When I fall in love, I fall hard. I don’t even desire anyone other than the person who owns my affection.

I believe I have also been able to remain faithful because of the little ways I get my satisfaction from our occasional acts of intimacy. Now, my girlfriend is telling me that she feels guilty about what we do. She is a devout Christian and I respect her values. However, I don’t understand why she is feeling guilty all of a sudden. This is something we’ve been doing for five years. I have gotten used to it, and have come to expect it.

When I asked for explanations she said, “You know I am a Christian. Just because I have been living in sin doesn’t mean I should continue doing it. My conscience hurts me every time we get together. Especially when we go down on each other. That’s why I have decided to stop and be celibate until we get married.” I know she doesn’t owe me access to her body just because we are in a relationship but I was disheartened to hear this. She doesn’t even want us to have any form of sexual touch lest we be tempted to take things too far.

To be honest, I feel she is being unfair to me. She is taking away something I have been using as a consolation prize for not getting the main action. I know she is doing what she believes is best for her but what about me? What about what I also want? Don’t my feelings matter too?

READ ALSO: What Would Make A Married Man Keep A Side Chick For Ten Years?

I don’t know how to handle this situation. Everything I told her when we started dating is true. Physical touch in a relationship is how I feel loved. Here is the case where she doesn’t want to indulge me in my love language anymore. I worry that without it I would see her as a mere friend.

I am not sure how long it would take us to finally get married but what if I lose my attraction to her before we even get there?

A Guy Caught Us Doing It And Started Raising An Alarm | HOT SEAT

I am a faithful guy so cheating is not on the table for me. I am also not ready to lose her. That’s why I’m here. I have never been in a relationship devoid of intimacy but this is where I am now. So I want to try and make it work. Is it possible to maintain physical attraction to a woman I don’t have any sexual contact with?

If it is, what are the ways to get it right? I know it’s going to be a difficult journey but that’s what we do for love. We make sacrifices. So if celibacy is what she wants, I will walk this journey with her. How do I make things easier for myself so I don’t lose interest in the relationship before we even begin our marriage plans? Please, help a brother out.

— Nene

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at [email protected]. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

#SB