He pursued me for a long time before I said yes to a date. I liked him, but I didn’t trust myself to make a good decision around him, which was why I was avoiding the date. First date, and the connection was so good. He said he loved my smile and that it was the way I carried myself with grace that got his attention.
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We stayed at this bar for hours until it started getting suffocating because of a guy smoking next to us. He said, “Let’s take a walk outside,” and we did. We kept talking, laughing, telling stories, and gossiping about people having fun in the night. Around the bend, he started getting touchy. He put his hand around my neck and caressed my shoulder. He pulled me in, and we kissed.
It felt so good I leaned in again for a second round. It lasted a few seconds, but it was worth it. I’ve never felt so connected and comfortable with someone. I started checking my sanity battery—it was at a good level. It meant I was in a position where I could make good decisions.
He said he would drive me home. I said I would go home by myself. He insisted and won when he told me it was too late and I might struggle to get a car to my place.
When we stopped at the main gate of my house, he said, “Let me walk you to your door. I want to be sure you’re inside your room safely.” My mind started going round and round like a carousel. I thought he wanted to take me to my door and eventually go in with me, so I resisted. Again, he won.
He walked me to my door and kissed me. Right after the kiss, he said goodnight and turned to walk away. I held his hand, opened my door, and pulled him in. He giggled and whispered, “What are you doing?” I answered, “I just want to cuddle for a while. Just let me.”
Things escalated more quickly than we were both ready for. It happened. I led the way, and he followed. When he finished dressing, he kissed my forehead and said goodnight for the second time. He opened my door and walked out.
I sent him a message: “Let me know when you get home.” He didn’t respond. Later, I sent another message: “Are you home?” He didn’t respond.
When I woke up the next morning, my messages had been read, but still no response. I texted again: “You’re scaring me. Did you get home safely?” He responded: “Yeah.”
I waited to see if he would say more than “yeah,” but that was all. I texted again: “Thanks a lot for last night. You woke the girl in me. It’s amazing to know there are true gentlemen around like you. I don’t mind another date. Also, I wish there would be more between us going forward. I feel so safe around you.”
He read but didn’t respond. A day later, I called, but he didn’t pick up. Because I don’t want to appear desperate (which I am), I haven’t called again. I’m only hoping against hope that he would call back or respond to my text, but it doesn’t look like he’s going to do it.
I’m confused—terrified, actually. How can we have a beautiful date, and he decides not to talk to me afterward? I would have understood his actions if the date was bad or if I did something untoward, but see, all was well. Yeah, I pushed beyond the boundaries, but he didn’t complain, so why is he treating me this way?
My friends are saying he’s just a fvckboy and I played into his trap. Others are saying I should give it some time and he’ll come around. Matilda thinks I should never respond to his call or messages when he comes around because he has disrespected me and my feelings toward him.
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I agree with them, but I’m feeling bad about how things turned out. How could he bring the love in me out and disappear like that? Is it because I allowed myself to go so far? Or was it his plan all along?
I won’t call him again. I’ll wait and see what happens. But what do you think—should I entertain him when he finally comes out from under the rock he’s hiding under?
— Mavis
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Don’t entertain him . If you do call the shots,set boundaries, don’t give him easy access to you like you did the first time. I bet you going all the way with him on the first date gave him the impression you do that with men on the first date. All in all don’t wait for him .push forward
ladies of today, you meet someone dont know any thing about him even his HIV status yet open your legs for him. you deserve it. kissing so many frogs to find mr prince charming.bullshit
Yes o u said it all Samuel
U are too cheap
Next time u go wise up
Why girls make their body cheap.abeg if its like that come i have brother ooo he they chop girls ooo°@°
You presented yourself too cheap for any man’s liking. You’re a cheap commodity and he will only come back to quench his thirst. Infact he’s scared that you are spreading a disease.
Nonsense generation!
NO OFFENSE.
He was a smart cool headed player. He had the physical means( money,car, good smell,etc) to unplug u. He won. Yes he did. But you let him win. You weren’t sure of yourself around him, yet you let him. Romance gone bad. Don’t take him back. He will be back but for second round. That’s a one night stand. Thumbs up to the bro tho. Well played my guy
Some men can’t simply take you for a wife material letting go on a first date.
Not all men are just about sex.
I’m sure he’s like “I’m looking for a wife, not a whore”
Come to terms with it when he doesn’t return but when he does, be good and control your body until he feels right to go. At that too, don’t play hard to get