First, I want to say thank you to anyone who not only read my story but took the time to leave a comment for me. I am not exaggerating when I say I read the comments over and over again for two weeks. I wanted to take my time before deciding on which of the voices to listen to.
Some of the voices advised me to talk to him and find out why he changed, while others asked me to give him space and be cautious of him. There were also the ones who called him ungrateful and jealous, and said it was unnecessary to confront him.
Naturally, I am not very good at having difficult conversations, let alone confrontations. That’s why I tabled that as a last resort. I just wanted to give it some time and see if he would change at some point.
When he didn’t, I confided in my roommate about our issues. He wasn’t surprised. “Yes, I have seen a shift in the way you two move but I didn’t think it was this deep.”
Just like me, he was sad to know that things could change so drastically. He said he saw us as brothers and not just friends. Then he offered to speak to Joe on my behalf. “Maybe if I ask him, he will open up to me, and then we can find a way to resolve the problem.” I shook my head and told him not to.
One morning, I was preparing breakfast before my mid-semester exam. I had also put some okro stew on the stove to heat. The kitchen is small, and Joe was also there preparing his breakfast. It felt a little crowded in there, so as soon as my food was ready, I left the kitchen to eat inside the room.
After eating, I got dressed and left for class. I had completely forgotten that the stew was still on the stove.
About three minutes after I left the hall, I received a text from Joe. “Masa, come off your gas, you wan burn the place?”
The message shocked me. Not because he asked if I intended to burn the place, but by the fact that he was in the kitchen, yet texted me to turn around and come and switch off the stove.
I rushed back to the hostel. And truly, when I got to the kitchen, the gas was still on. And my stew? Completely burnt. Where was my friend? He stood right there and watched. That was the last straw for me.
I’d never been so angry in my life. I almost lost my calm and peaceful composure as I stared at the charred stew. However, I took deep breaths, turned off the gas, and walked out without saying a word.
I was too angry to talk. Besides, I had just four minutes left before the start of my paper. So I channelled my anger into a power walk.
For days, I kept thinking about it. Why?
“Why would he let that happen?”
“Why send a text instead of just turning it off?”
“What might he do next?”
I couldn’t stop the questions bombarding my mind.
When I felt ready to talk, I spoke to my roommate about the incident. “He’s going too far. If I react right now, I’ll end up doing something I will regret,” I ranted.
Just like the first time, he empathized with me. He asked me to calm down and talk to Joe. “Brothers shouldn’t be at loggerheads with each other. Let’s sit down and talk things out.”
By then I had already made up my mind. There was no need for us to talk anymore. “I want him out of this room by next semester. He needs to get his own place for the sake of peace.”
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My roommate pleaded on his behalf, but I told him it was my mistake for persuading him to let Joe stay with us in the first place. If I knew it would ruin our friendship, I would have left things alone.
Later, I told him to start looking for accommodation. And that I will calculate what is left of what he paid us, and return his money to him.
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I still don’t know what went wrong, and I have decided to let it remain that way. If he was a true friend, he would spoken up about whatever problem there was, instead of treating me how my best friend ended up seeing me as an enemy. But I believe I made the right decision.
Oh, and I deleted and blocked his number the same day he let my stew burn right in front of him.
—Kwei
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That’s all. Put yourself first. He was not a friend in the first place but an enemy . Whatever thing that happens deos for a reason. Such a person will watch you burn to death. Since he couldn’t have what you have he will rather watch you fail or ruin your stuffs . Fear men indeed. God has even saved you such a person would have destroyed your marriage or your relationship with others.
Okay it’s your decision, but just as a general life lesson, it’s always best to find out exactly what went wrong. You mentioned that if he was a true friend, he would have talked to you about the problem, in the same vein, if you were a true friend, you would have found out what went wrong.
You could talk to your roommate about it but not him. It just seems crazy to me that two adults could do something like that. You are both at fault here though, letting that okro soup burn was just flat out mean. But I would wonder what could have caused my erstwhile best friend to harbour that kind of hatred for me.
Maameafua hello again
This is what I think. Let the other roommate talk to him, as if he has seen a rift and he’s trying to find out what the issue is. He shouldn’t speak to him as though he’s speaking on your behalf. If he still refuses to talk, then you can part ways peacefully. If he talks, have a meeting, all three of you and resolve it. Even if the issue gets resolved, be careful with him still. Someone like that can easily watch you fall into a ditch, watch you die and then call an ambulance afterwards