Joe is the reason I met the love of my life. He introduced me to her when I was certain love was not meant for me. And ever since then, I have been a happy man. I plan to marry her as soon as I get my finances sorted out. 

I work at a private school and so does Joe. Anyone who teaches at a private school will agree with me that the money isn’t much. So we often talked about ways to upgrade ourselves for better opportunities. “My uncle said he will help me join the police service,” he told me. “I want to enroll in the university,” I said to him. 

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When the time came for us to execute our plans, I applied for a university and gained admission. Unfortunately, Joe’s uncle didn’t deliver on his promise. He came to tell me, “I didn’t have money to give him so my uncle sold the slot to someone else. Are they still running admissions at your school? I want to apply.” 

Yes, admissions were still open. So I encouraged him to apply and he did. By the time, he gained admission, accommodation was scarce. I had gotten a place in a hostel. The hostel had a strict policy of two people in a room and I already had a roommate. 

I did my best to get him a room. Unfortunately, it was almost impossible to get one. Everywhere was full. The only places he could have gotten were way above his price range. Out of desperation, I asked the manager if he could make an exception for me to have Joe in my room but he said, “We can’t go against the hostel’s policy.” 

I was sad but I was not ready to give up. I went to my roommate directly and asked, “Can my friend perch with us? The manager does not live in the hostel but he won’t know.” My roommate said no. 

On the day school resumed, I reported but Joe didn’t. So I went back to my roommate and practically begged him to make room for Joe. In the end, he agreed but on condition that Joe would only stay for a week. 

When Joe moved in with us, I roamed with him for days looking for a place for him but we didn’t get any. In the end, my roommate agreed that he could just live with us but he would pay something as part of the money the room cost us. We all agreed it was a fair deal. 

We were best friends already, and living together strengthened that bond. We did everything together. I have a chopbox full of food and groceries that I didn’t mind sharing with him. We cooked together and ate together for three weeks. 

After the third week, Joe became cold toward me for no apparent reason. He wouldn’t have conversations with me. He would frown whenever he had to talk to me. I thought he was just going through something and that eventually he would come out of it. But as time went on, the distance between us got wider.

Joe now goes out without me. He cooks and eats alone. I act like I am cool but deep down I am hurt. I don’t understand why he is behaving this way. As far as I am concerned, we didn’t fight. I have searched myself and I know I didn’t do or say anything to offend him. So why is he treating me as if I don’t matter to him anymore? 

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Honestly, I am beginning to regret helping him. If I hadn’t insisted on bringing him into my room, maybe he wouldn’t have gotten to this place where he wants nothing from me. Then we would have maintained our beautiful friendship.

The sad part is that I know he is broke and struggling. He doesn’t have enough food and I see him eating in rations when I have food in abundance. I wish I could offer him my food but I fear he will reject it. So like him, I cook and eat alone. 

Marriage Through the Eyes of Millennials and Gen-Z


Although I am following his lead and keeping my distance, I miss him. I want us to be cool again so we can share those brotherly moments. I want to ask him what his problem is but I don’t want to come across as needy. Besides, his behaviour lately has told me that he might be cold if I try to have a conversation with him about his attitude. 

What do you advise I do in this situation? Should I continue to keep my distance and leave him alone? Or do you think I should man up and sit him down for an honest conversation? 

—Kwei

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