She told me, “My name is May.” I asked, ”May as in the short form of Mabel?” She laughed as though I’d mentioned the funniest name on earth. She said, “May as in Mayflower?” I said, “Your father looked at a day born baby and named her Mayflower?” She said, “May because I was born in May. The flower? Maybe it was because I was their first child after struggling for six years without a child.” 

So I and Mayflower became lovers. 

It wasn’t as easy as I’d made it sound. She said no to me the first time. She said no again the second time. The third time she said, “If you don’t stop bordering me, I’ll report you to my father.” The fourth time she said, “I can give you a chance if only you can promise me one thing.” I asked, “What one thing?” She said, “If only you can keep it secret until we are both sure.” I said, “Then secret it is. You and I are secret.” So we started as secret lovers. No one had to know about us.

Every love affair is beautiful at the onset. I can’t say the same about ours. We had our first fight in our first month. I went to visit her and had a call. The call came from a friend who didn’t know how to say goodbye and end a call. A new topic springs up just when you’re about to end the call. So when the call ended and I looked at her face, she was angry. “I’m right here in front of you and you had spoken for hours with another girlfriend? Who does that?” When I went home that day, she sent me a message to tell me it was over. I went back to her, pleaded, and promised her I would never do that again. She said, “Your last chance.” I said, “I won’t mess it up.”

Four days later, we had another fight. It was about something I don’t even remember. I remember I was also very angry. We said hurtful things to each other and broke up right there and there. We never spoke to each other. Four nights later, I heard a knock on my door, I opened the door and it was her. She apologized. I told her I love her so much and she said the same to me. We had our first kiss and promised to be better adults. Just before the week would end, we had another fight. I posted my ex’s photo and wished her a happy birthday. She came at me with a sharp tongue, calling me a cheat and irresponsible. That fight lasted for three days. I never called and she never called. I went to her house on the third day, I apologized and we were back together.

One month in love and we had had three different breakups. I thought we should do better than that so we sat down and discussed our needs and what’s expected of each other. We promised never to fight again and even when a fight comes, we would settle it like mature adults without all the drama. One week after that discussion, we had another fight. It was her fault. As usual, we fought about it like kids and ended the relationship. I told her, “If you think I’m ever going to come and apologize to you, then you might be crazy.” She said, “I don’t even need your apology. Go away, you devil.”

Days ran into a week, we never spoke but I was suffering. I was missing her. I was missing her presence and her being but pride won’t let me call her. I woke up one dawn to the ringing sound of my phone. I looked at the screen; “Mayflower calling.” She said, “So you meant it when you said it’s over?” I said, “No I didn’t mean it but you pushed me—you pushed me to my limit. Why can’t you stop that?” She said, “I’m sorry. It won’t happen again.” I said, “It better not.”

I thought our problem was because we were keeping the relationship secret. We had a face to face talk again. We agreed to come public so we can have witnesses to our affair. Things got worse. I called her over pampered fool and she came to my house and collected a wristwatch she bought for me as a gift. We went on a break for two weeks and came back again. 

Upon all the struggles and breakups, there was one thing we both knew for sure; that we loved each other desperately and that love was the reason for our fights. We barely survived our first anniversary. We limped through our second year together. In our third year, she poured hot water on me and gave me burns on my wrist. What did I do wrong? I forgot her birthday. That same year, she attended our end of year party at work and saw the vibe between me and a female colleague and concluded, “You and this girl have something going on. See how she’s all over you.” We broke up. Came back together three days later. 

One day she asked me, “When are we getting married?” I told her, “Let me know when you are ready.” She asked, “You don’t think I look ready for marriage?” I said, “With this your childish behaviors?” I laughed so she would know I was only teasing her. She left and sent me a message; “Thank you for letting me know how you really think about me. I’m childish to you. Go ahead and marry the one you think is matured.” We went to and fro with this issue for days until she finally told me, “We’ve been like this for almost four years. We fight. We break up and I forgive you. Maybe that’s why you think I’m childish. Now watch me show you maturity. It’s over. And I mean it.” 

She blocked all my lines and access to her. I also got angry and stopped pursuing. Days became week and there was not a single day I didn’t think about her. I thought she would come and say sorry. I thought she would call one dawn and ask us to be together. None of that happened. I started getting scared. I told myself, “Tomorrow, I would go and see her.” I never did until almost one month. One dawn, I picked myself up and left my pride on the floor, I walked to her house. I knocked and she grudgingly opened up. For close to ten minutes none of us said a word. We sat quietly listening to the sound of each other’s breathing. 

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I said, “I’m sorry for the long silence. I’m sorry for what I said. I thought I was playing but I shouldn’t play with something this sensitive. Forgive me.” She opened her arms and hugged me. “You pushed me to the limit. You might not believe it but I was ready to give someone else a chance in my life. He has been worrying me for the past months. I keep saying no but just three days ago, I said yes to him. Tomorrow morning I would have gone to see him. If I met him and anything happened between us, that would have been the end of you and me. It’s good you came today because tomorrow would have been too late.”

We patched things up and came back together. We started planning towards our marriage and some several months later, we both said “I do” to each other. 

We got married knowing very well we could fight even during the wedding day but then again, something changed in us. Our last breakup pushed us to the limit where all we could do was to change and be better. From then on we never fought again. “Tomorrow would have been too late” became our live’s slogan. We didn’t push anything we could do today to tomorrow. We talked about things openly and held no hard feelings. But guess what, our next major fight happened on our honeymoon. She packed her things and left the hotel. I followed her to the house. She screamed at me, “Don’t try to get close to me, I’ll hurt you.” A few minutes later, she was up picking her clothes from the floor and asking me where I threw her pants. 

—Ken