I fell in love with Ama when I was in level 200 at the University. I was so in love with her that even when I was at lectures, her thoughts would flood my mind. First thing in the morning, I thought of her. Before I went to bed at night, I thought of her too. Every time my phone rang or a message notification popped up, I knew it was her. She was my world.

When I graduated school, she was there to cheer me up and take pictures with me. I had the rest of my life figured out. I was sure that I would soon get a job and marry my girl. The other thing too was that I always wanted to be a pastor. So I had plans to work in ministry as well. I didn’t know which path to take until after I finished my national service. By then I was certain I was called to start a church. So that was what I did.

I did everything I was taught by my teachers to do. I also prayed fervently and listened for God’s guidance concerning the church. I put in the work and effort required as well. But the church didn’t work. I became depressed and heartbroken. I felt I had failed God. I felt I had failed the call. The only thing I could do was to close down the church.

After this, I went around searching for a job so I could survive on something while I waited on God’s command for my next step. It was frustrating, I am not going to lie. I had such big plans for my life only to find out that life is not one plus one plus is equal to two. I was either stuck at one or taking a step back to zero. The thought that I was still living in my father’s house and depending on him for survival when I should have been working and saving money for marriage filled me with a sense of shame.

While all this was going on, Ama called me one day and said, “I want to have a chat with you. Can we meet?” My heart skipped a beat because we all know nobody meets in person to share good news.

I showed up only for Ama to serve me a hot heartbreak on a china plate. She said she didn’t know where I was heading with my life and that I didn’t meet her expectations. I couldn’t fault her. It’s not as if I knew where my life was heading either. I loved her but I had to let her go. My heart broke like that China plate but I swept up the pieces and did my best to carry on.

In that season of my life, I got a teaching job. It helped me buy basic things I needed so I wouldn’t have to depend on anyone. It was during that period that I met this beautiful soul called Yaa. We were friends in the beginning until I fell in love with her and asked to be my girlfriend. She knew my story with Ama. I believe that’s why she answered my proposal with the line, “Let’s not rush anything. I will give you some time to heal properly from your ex.” I said okay and we continued with the friendship. When we were both sure I was healed, our own love story began.

Along the line I wanted to move out of my father’s house but where was the money? There were other things I wished I could do but they all demanded money. I couldn’t even contribute to the upkeep of the household because I barely earned enough to get by. I was depressed most of the time because of this.

The more I thought about all the things I couldn’t do, the more I felt worthless. I even feared that Yaa would leave me the way Ama did. So once in a while, I would think about offing myself. The only light in this dark moment for me was Yaa’s unwavering love and support for me. She has been my beacon of hope right from the moment she came into my life. This is the reason I call her my angel.

Yaa loved me when there was nothing to love. She cared for me when I behaved as though I didn’t need it. My own mother looked at me and called me a liability but Yaa was by my side. I cried and begged her to leave me so she could have a better man but she was stubbornly planted in my life. She is the reason I held on and fought to live. I didn’t see my worth but her love was all the convincing I needed that indeed I was human.

Things became so bad for me at home that I had to move out and live on the streets. Even at this point, she didn’t leave me. If not for love, why would a woman who has a home date a homeless man? I was ready to perish on the streets but she was my salvation. She cared for me, fed me, and was not ashamed to be associated with me. By and by, she raised money for me to rent a place so I could find a level ground to make something out of my life.

While I was grinding and striving to be the man she deserved, Yaa took seed. It was unplanned but we kept it. Babies are blessings, whether they are planned or unplanned. So we celebrated ours for the gift she was.

She, a beautiful princess we named Melody. Sadly Melody spent two months and two weeks on earth and decided the elements were too harsh for her fragile self. She went back to heaven before I even got the chance to see her. I was at a faraway distance working when it happened. I didn’t see her when she was born and neither could I see her when she was gone. Not even her grave. This broke me into pieces.

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From afar, I saw Yaa wail. I saw grief tearher apart but I was not even there to hold her and whisper comforting words to her. It still pains me to this day. My only comfort is that, through it all, we are still here.

My dear Yaa, thank you for caring for me. Thank you for your emotional and financial support. Thank you for being a beacon of hope when the darkness tried to steal my soul. Thank you for giving us Baby Melody and I am sorry for all that you went through when she left us. Most importantly, I am glad you are still standing here strong.

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I want to make this promise to you, and let the internet be my witness, that I will forever love you with all my heart. If ever there will be a day when I will be ungrateful to you by cheating or giving you wahala, may my eyes not live to see that day. May my nose not live to breathe the air of that day. I vow with my life to love you even in death.

When I sing praises to God, I thank him for you. I am still finding my feet but looking back at everything we’ve been through, I just want to celebrate you and remind you that every day that I live, my heart beats for you. I am looking forward to the day we will tie the knot so I can finally call you my wife.

— Bra. Dela

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