I met Kwame through a dear friend in my third year at the university. He was living abroad but he had come to Ghana to visit his parents during the Christmas festivities. We connected instantly and started a long-distance relationship when he went back. Kwame was every bit the traditional man. He took care of my financial needs without me having to ask him to do it. Sometimes, he even extended his generosity to my family.

After my National Service, we got married. And luckily, we didn’t have to do a long-distance marriage for too long. He made arrangements for me to join him abroad. While I was there, I furthered my education through my husband’s encouragement. He also paid my fees and bore whatever expenses that came along. I was living the dream. Kwame is everything I prayed to God for in a man. Our marriage was thriving, and so were our finances. I dare say everything was perfect.

Along the line, my father-in-law called to tell us about some plots of land at a perfect location that was up for sale. He advised, “I think it’s time you start acquiring some property in Ghana. Send me money and let me secure some of this land for you. Then from there, I will help you start a building project.” We thought it was a good investment so we sent him the required money. We also sent him extra cash to get all the documents for the land and commence the building.

Things however started to fall apart when my husband’s business partner betrayed him and we lost a huge sum of money. When that happened, we were disappointed but not without hope. We were sure that we would bounce back eventually. While we were strategizing on how to get back on our feet, the Covid-19 pandemic broke out. The company my husband was working for at the time had to downsize, and he was one of the unfortunate ones who were laid off. Even when that happened, our hope was not lost. I still had my job, so I stepped into Kwame’s shoes and took care of everything at home.

One morning, I woke up feeling very sick. I couldn’t place a finger on exactly what was wrong so I took a pregnancy test. It came out positive. This particular pregnancy was different from my previous ones. It was accompanied by severe morning sickness. I couldn’t stomach anything and this made me anaemic and very weak. I didn’t have the strength and mind to work so I had to quit my job. We started surviving on our savings with the hope that Kwame would get another job soon. But unfortunately, it didn’t happen like that.

When push came to shove, we decided to return home with the money we had left and start life afresh. When we discussed our decision with my father-in-law he said; “The country’s economy is very bad. You people are better off where you are, trust me.” Oh, we trusted him alright but our minds were already made up since we had bills piling up with no income to offset them.

When we got back and it was time for my father-in-law to show us our property, he started acting funny and giving excuses that didn’t make any sense. To cut the long story short, he had squandered all the money we sent him. There was no building, not even a small piece of land in our name. That was when it dawned on us that he forged and sent fake documents to us when we were abroad. I was devastated. I could not believe that the man whom I loved so much and taken as my own father could do this to us. I cried until there were no more tears left in my tear ducts to shed. After the birth of our child, we decided to let go of everything because there was no way my father-in-law could pay the money back.

Since we got back, my husband has been trying to get a job, but to no avail. He even tried to get teaching jobs but when the schools saw his CV they told him, “Sorry, you are overqualified for this position.” I remember when one of the school owners called him to ask, “Explain why someone with your level of education who schooled abroad would submit a CV to teach in a primary school.” After Kwame’s explanation, she said, “You will hear from us.” But we never did.

I never imagined that I would live to see a day when getting food to eat would be a problem for me and my family. Most times, I pray to God to send us help so we can be re-established. One day I was reminiscing about our past life, where we used to be, and where we are now. I became so overwhelmed with the whole situation and broke down in tears. My son walked into the kitchen and saw me crying. He asked, “Mummy, why are you crying?” My husband heard him and rushed to where I was sitting. When I lifted my head our eyes met and I could see tears forming in his eyes. He looked so pained, and at that moment I made a decision to be strong for him.

Even in our time of difficulty, he is still the man I married. He is a good, God-fearing, and selfless man who has made a lot of sacrifices for me and the kids. He is seven years older than me yet he treats me with respect. He doesn’t do anything without consulting me first. Whenever there is a need for us to agree on something, he would explain why he feels his suggestions are good and also allow me to bring my suggestions, and explain why they are equally good. He never imposes his will on me. And I never take his love and respect for granted.

One of the things he has always said to me is, “Nkem, seeing you happy gives me so much joy.”  Don’t get it twisted, we have our own misunderstandings like every other couple out there. However, Kwame would never go to sleep if there is an unresolved issue between us. Even if it takes him to apologize for peace to reign in our home, he would gladly do it. He helps me with house chores. He would wash the dishes while I do the laundry. He would take care of the kids while I cook. “Nkem, relax and let me do the cooking today.” He would say. He is every bit a traditional man, and every bit a modern man. He is a package deal, and I feel blessed to have him.

READ ALSO: I’m A Divorcée Making An Attempt To Love Again But This Guy Doesn’t Have Time

It has been more than a year since we decided to put our certificates aside and hustle. We do odd jobs just to get by and after each day’s hustle, we add our incomes together and plan around it. Oftentimes what we need, especially for the kids exceeds what we have. But I am certain that one day, we will bring our certificates out from where they are safely kept and use them again. I honestly do not know how long this struggle will last, but I know for sure that God will come through for us. He will make everything beautiful again in His time. Until then, I will continue to stand by my king and be the best mum I can be to my beautiful boys. I do not have as much money and comfort as I used to but I am grateful for life and the family God has blessed me with.

I am sharing my story with the hopes that someone out there will be the angel that we need at this time, and help my husband secure a job. I also want women to know that there are still some good men out there. When God gives you one, please love, respect, support, and stand by him at all times. Do not insult, maltreat or take advantage of him no matter what. And to all the responsible men out there, please do not take your woman’s love for granted. May God bless our homes in Jesus’ Name.

—Nkem

Do you have any relationship experience to share? Please email it to [email protected]

NOTE: NO PART OF THIS CONTENT CAN BE REPUBLISHED OR REPRODUCED IN ANY FORM WITHOUT THE EXPLICIT CONSENT OF THE EDITORS OF THIS BLOG

#SB