After my last breakup, I went on a break for two years. The cut was deep. The tears ran for days. I needed that long to heal completely so I wouldn’t bleed on my next guy.

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In February, I met James, just in time to celebrate Valentine’s Day with him. He proposed on Valentine’s Day. I said no. He came again with a plea, asking me to give him a chance. He’s a great guy, so I told him, “No problem, but just give me some time to think through things.”

He accepted. We’ve been awesome. No trouble so far.

I met Eric in March and Kay in April. When these two proposed, I asked them to give me some time to think about it. I meet them; we talk. Nothing serious. And then, all of a sudden, all three of these guys want to meet my parents to discuss marriage.

James has proposed a wedding date. He wants it on my birthday in December. Eric wants my dad’s number. He wants to talk to him man-to-man so they can arrange when he should come home. Kay took me to meet his mother. He told her, “Mom, say something for me. She doesn’t believe that I want to marry her.”

His mom made matters urgent. She said, “My daughter, my son is ready. He talks to me about you like you were his wife. He’ll make you happy, trust him.”

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I dated someone for three years and never heard, “I want to marry you.” Now here I am, with three guys ready to marry me. They are all good guys, trust me. But I feel like we haven’t gone long enough for me to know them for who they are. We haven’t fought, we haven’t disagreed, we haven’t had time to be lovers.

Who do I give a chance to? Who do I let go?

—Dede

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