I have read a lot of stories on this page but the one that moved me to share my story was the one about a woman who lost her babies and bled for an entire year while society kept asking her if she was pregnant, anytime she got sick. It reminded me of my own story. Just like her, growing up I vowed to keep myself pure and abstain from any sexual misconduct. My parents were borne of broken homes and it affected them individually in a way that broke their marriage. I promised myself that I would do better for the sake of my unborn children.
I was very conscious about so many things. I made sure I didn’t leave my life to chance. If you don’t make things happen for you, things will happen to you: that’s what they say. So I made it a point to be in control of my own narrative.
The house of the lord was my home. I enjoyed spending a lot of time in church because it made my faith in the word of God grow stronger day by day. It grounded me and shielded me from the kind of life I would have lived growing up on the streets of Ashaiman.
I lived with my aunt, who was doing the best she could to raise me in a bad neighborhood. I was exposed to all sorts of things. I was even tempted to pursue some of these unacceptable lifestyles but I didn’t. I chose to walk on the path of righteousness. I was so pure that it showed outwardly. I became the standard parents measured their children by.
After high school, I gained admission to the university to further my education. That was the point where my life changed completely. I got the shock of my life when I went for medical screening. It was discovered that I am a carrier of HBV (Hepatitis B Virus). Further investigation revealed that it was an incurable illness. At that time I didn’t know there was a lot of negative stigma attached to this condition. Because I was sad, I cried while I confided in the people in my life. My roommate was no exception.
I went through hell at the hands of people I believed were going to be my support system. My roommate made my life so miserable that I rented an apartment and moved out of the hostel. Nobody believed that I did not contract the virus sexually. They called me all sorts of names. “You project this image of yourself as if you are a good girl but you are a hypocrite.” Everybody thought I was living a double life. I became a social pariah.
It took a lot of work before I finally got to a place where I fully accepted this condition as part of me. Despite that, it’s still difficult sometimes. I would be having a perfectly good day and someone would ask me, “When are you getting married?” Then my perfect day would turn into a day of melancholy and tears.
Sometimes when I attend weddings, I come back depressed. I would weep for a week or two because of the things people say to me at weddings. “You too marry some and let’s come and eat jollof rice at your wedding.” “When will you start dating? Hurry up and let’s attend your wedding.” I know we say these things in the spirit of excitement and merriment, but there are wounded people among us posing as happy people. You don’t know whose wounds you would be poking with comments like these.
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Recently, I had to move out of the house because of my mother’s torments. I know she means well but every time she asks me, “When are you bringing your boyfriend home?” I am reminded that I am a carrier of HBV. Sometimes she would tell me she is waiting for grandchildren, and my heart would sink into the pit of my stomach. I am not saying that I have chosen not to date because of my diagnosis. I have tried to put myself out there but anytime I tell a man that I have never been with anyone yet I have HBV, they call me a liar and take to their heels.
I Discovered He Had Another Woman But I Couldn’t Leave Him
Some of them act as if they are interested. “Help me understand how this happened,” they would ask. I have learned enough about the virus to educate others on it. However, when I take my time to explain things to these men, they either block me or openly reject me. If I can’t even get a man to understand what I am dealing with, then will I ever date? Let’s not even talk about marriage and having kids.
If there is one thing this disease has taught me, it’s that I should mind my business. Asking people, no matter the relationship you have with them, to get married or have kids is very insensitive. You have no idea the demons people are fighting, and what your nosiness is doing to make things worse for them.
—Yaa
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#SB
It’s so sad lack of information makes people react the way they do. As you said you’ve read a lot about the disease, I’m sure you know the disease is not as dangerous as we project it. Simple lifestyle and good eating habit can solve this problem. However, I’m tempted to believe that the way you present the case to your men makes it scary to them so you can change your approach. I know people who have lived with this virus for closed to two decades even without any proper medication and yet they still look strong. The way you presented your story is an evidence of the fact that you’ve magnified the problem more than it truly is. Be confident in yourself, put yourself out there in the love market and the right person will come. Never tell them you haven’t been with any man and yet you have that virus. If you do that, you create the impression that the disease is contracted only through sex when common sweat can even cause it.
I perfectly understand the lady in this situation. I want to mention that she has to stop telling suitors about her condition. this is Africa, and people will judge her anyway. Being a carrier of HP-B has nothing to do with childbirth
one question will be, will she accept marrying someone with HIV if she was not diagnosed with any disease? People will have the same feelings towards her once she discloses her medical condition to them
My last point is that she should learn to accept and live with her condition. Everyone will die whether they are sick today or not. Her worries will kill her faster than the disease itself.
I wish I could speak with her about her situation to bring relief back to her life.
Best wishes, Sister!
It’s not the end of the world. HBV can be cured if the immune system naturally clears itself. Try drinking Neen tree juice by boiling the leaves. It is a very strong medecin for HBV. Neem tree leaves is one of the best known medecin in the world. Don’t make the sickness look greater than God. Take it up to him in prayers while you do your part. Also check the way you say it to your partners. HBV is not a deadly disease. Even HIV can be controlled. Don’t give up on yourself. Instead of crying channel it to do something meaningful such as prayers, exercises. I don’t know if you know that it can be transmitted from mother to child? Not necessarily through sex but also through semen,blood ,body contact with an infected person. Don’t be afraid what God can’t do doesn’t exist.
From your write up it’s very likely you have chronic Hep B and with this condition note
1.your mother had it and transferred it to you in utero during pregnancy.
2.you cannot transmit chronic Hep B to anyone except during pregnancy even with that not all your children will be infected.
3.There is an injection that is usually given to the baby immediately after birth to prevent the child from infection after being detected during your Antenatal care that the mother has it
4.bost your immune system by eating healthy or better still see a doctor who will put you on some medication/ supplements.
5.stop telling your suitors about your health condition hey this is Africa ooo😂 have confidence in yourself and live happily.all the best
Your fear is actually depriving you of your joy. Some of the men you are telling about your health condition might be a carrier as well unknown to them. Allow things flow to a point where suggestions will be preferred. See a doctor to enlighten you your chances to live a complete life like others.
You would only declare your health status at the point of marriage during counseling and even that, you can play ignorant at the medical report at which point your suitor may not be willing to leave you.
See the Dr for which HBV you have and get its antidote to the minimal point where it pisses no risk to anyone
Seek counseling to break you free from childhood trauma as I perceive.
My dear, this disease is curable. I know 2 people who were carriers and are now free due to some simple local medication.
Admin pls give her my email so we can chat abt it.