One day I went to the bank as a newly trained teacher to receive my salary. That was where I met Ernest. He was a young man who worked at the bank. I checked him out and to my pleasure, he approached me and we spoke briefly. Before I left I gave him my number. He called immediately to make sure I’d given him the right number. 

Initially, he was the one who constantly called. I liked him alright but I wasn’t ready to be tied down by him. I was having fun and enjoying my youth. Due to his persistent calls, I agreed to date him. That was somewhere in 2010. We got closer as time went on. We had a beautiful relationship going. Ernest was always in my house. He wasn’t the kind of man to spend all his time in a woman’s house but he did that with me. He often told me that I was his world. We were inseparable. Even his parents knew about us. Everywhere I went, Ernest was with me. The first question they asked when they called him was “Are you at Abena’s house?” It was our inside joke. There were two places you would see him; at work or at my house. 

We were together often but he wasn’t the only one I was dating. I had other relationships I kept secret from him. I was really good at multitasking and juggling men. I never got caught, until one day one of my guys drove straight to my house without telling me. Ernest was comfortably sleeping in my room. I didn’t know what to do so I went to sit in the car of the other guy while Ernest was sleeping in my room. It was a close shave but I worked out magic to save the situation. There were similar incidents that occurred later in the relationship. There were ones I couldn’t do anything about. I’m talking about clashes between Ernest and other men in my life. In all this, he didn’t give up on me. 

One day, I went to a church event and the pastor gave a prophecy; “Is there anyone here who is a teacher?” He asked. No one in the congregation moved or spoke. I looked around in hopes that someone else present was a teacher. No one owned up. It looked like the prophecy was meant for me. I  stood up and walked forward to the altar. The pastor said “You will lose something dear to your heart. When it happens don’t chase or ask questions about it.” The prophecy was really vague and confusing. My mother was sick at that time so I thought the prophecy meant she was going to die. When I went home I prayed to God to let my mother live.

The church program continued the next day so I went again. The pastor gave me the same prophecy again but this time he was more specific. “Maame who is Ernest?” He asked me. I laughed at the directness of the question and he said “The young man is not your husband. Let him go.” I didn’t want to take the prophecy seriously but someone else had also told me the same thing before I even met the prophet. I didn’t know if I should leave him or stay with him. 

While in my state of indecision,  Ernest had to further his studies so he went back to school. His leaving for school made me very lonely so one day I said to myself  “People are saying you are not my husband so why do I have to waste my whole life in this relationship? Allow me to explore.” 

While I was thinking of what next to do, I met someone new. I had gone back to school to further my education when I met this guy. We were in the same university. It was somewhere in 2013. This time around Ernest knew that I was cheating on him. Every time he confronted me about it I denied it. I wouldn’t leave it at that, I turned it around and made it look like he was just insecure and jealous and didn’t trust me. He saw messages I had sent to other guys on my phone but he didn’t say anything. I lied to him about going to church or going to visit my mum or grandma so I can go and visit the new guy. I changed totally. His presence no longer excited me. 

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Ernest isn’t dumb. He knew something was wrong so he started digging. While I was asleep one night he took my phone and called the new guy. After their phone conversation, he gave up on me. I don’t know what they talked about but from the look of things whatever the new guy told him hurt him a lot. He was broken. He let me go so he can work on what was left of him. He was hurt. So hurt it showed in his countenance. 

Four years later, I got married to the new guy. That should have put an end to everything, right? 

Wrong!  

Ernest didn’t know about the wedding. I didn’t tell him. I wished I could but the shame of how we ended didn’t allow me to say anything to him. It took his cousin showing him my wedding photos for him to know that I was married. 

After he saw my wedding photos he gave me a call; “Abena it’s been a long time. How is life?” 

We had a very long conversation. It didn’t end there. We kept in touch and spoke quite often. I started missing him and had the constant urge to see him. One day I gave in to my urges and I went to visit him. I was a little apprehensive but when I got there things were different. The atmosphere he created was comforting and relaxing. I had nothing to fear. We laughed about so many things and he told me everything I did behind his back while we were dating. I was so ashamed of myself. I apologized. “I was young and silly. Please forgive me.” He answered, “I forgave you long ago. It’s the reason I can welcome you here after all this while.”

We started feeling the curse of the old flames. I looked at him and realized that I hadn’t gotten over him. We were like fire and gasoline ready to combust. That day, we didn’t go all the way. We were not sure of what was happening. There was an uncertainty hovering around us and what we were about to do. We said our goodbyes and I left his place. But the fire kept burning inside of me so the following day I went back to him. He looked into my eyes and pushed closer. At that moment, even the beaming ring on my finger couldn’t stop him from consuming me. We went all out, taking bits and pieces from each other. 

We’ve been seeing each other since that day. We are in the dark but his love for me shines through everything. His girlfriend has left him because of what’s going on between us. He gets worried sometimes but we are unable to walk away from each other. Had it not been the prophecy I took seriously, Ernest and I would have been married but now look at us—we are hiding our love from the world because we have become an abomination. It’s not a fair life but we are here. Living it one day at a time.

—Abena

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