I picked the hint from our first date. I wasn’t sure if that was his character or he was just trying hard to impress me. He came for me with an Uber, around 7pm though we both agreed to go out at exactly 6pm. When he arrived, he hugged me and I said, “You’re an hour late, what happened?” He looked surprised that I was complaining about his lateness. He answered, “Let’s just say I had the most dumbest Uber driver today. He didn’t know how to use the map to get to my place so I had to spend several minutes teaching him his own work. It won’t happen again. Very soon, my Toyota Camry 2020 model would land and we won’t pick dumb Uber drivers  again.”

I thought he was disrespecting the Uber driver but we were not close to the driver’s earshot so he didn’t hear the conversation we had. We sat at the back of the car and I asked where we were going. “A lady doesn’t ask. She just waits to be surprised but you let me give you a gist. I’m taking you to a place where no man has taken you. It’s exquisite and the aura of the place would make your night even before you taste what’s on the menu.” I was building blocks of impression about him and each block I laid on top of the other didn’t say anything good about him.

We got to the place only to realize that it was nothing as exotic as he made it sound. The menu was presented and we started scanning through. He asked what I was going to have and I told him, “I don’t know. I want to eat something I haven’t eaten before but I’m not sure if I would enjoy it.” He stretched his neck to look at my menu and asked me what I hadn’t eaten before. I pointed at one of the food on the menu. The name was even hard to mention. “Oh really? You haven’t eaten that before? Do you even go out often?” he asked me. I rolled my eyes. He continued, “When mom was in Ghana, this was one of the dishes she cooked when she was in a good mood and let me tell you, she was often in good mood. So I’ve eaten this too often than I should.”

He put his finger on the menu and started pointing them one after the other, “You see this one, don’t go for it. I’ve had it several times and didn’t enjoy it. They make it too spicy or salty here. This place doesn’t know how to handle this dish. I know another place. They do it better.” He seemed to have eaten every dish on the menu and knew which one was better than the other. I asked him, “Is that all you do? Visit one restaurant after the other?” He answered, “Because of how I was raised, I developed a good sense of taste for food. I don’t like boring foods so I try as much as often to eat what I find enjoyable.”

I ordered rice and beef sauce and this guy told me to change it. “Why should I change it?” I asked him. He responded, “I didn’t bring you here to eat what you can cook in the house. That’s too basic. Let me order the first dish I pointed out for you. I said no and he went ahead to order it. The food came and I couldn’t enjoy it because it was everything I didn’t like in a food. He teased me. He said, “Now you know what you won’t pick the next time you go out on a date with me.” I said in my head, “The next time? What’s giving you the impression that I would go on a date with you again?”

To me, the night was bad. I didn’t enjoy the conversation. Everything was more about him than it was about us. I came home alone with an Uber and decided to avoid him. When I got home, I texted him, “Thanks for the outing tonight. I’m really grateful that you could do this with me.” He responded, “Wait until I start taking you to more exotic places. This is just the beginning.” I didn’t respond to that one. It was all I needed to round up my emotions for the night.

The next day he called me and I didn’t pick up. He sent a text, “Call me when you see my missed call.” I didn’t call him. In the evening, he sent another text and followed it up with a call. I didn’t mind him. I was sending him a clear indication that I didn’t want to see him again but he was either not getting it or was refusing to get it. The next day was a Saturday. He called with a different line and I picked. He asked me, “Are you avoiding me?” I put up the best lie to convince him that it wasn’t intentional. We picked up the conversation from there. I liked his persistence. I told myself, “Maybe I’m judging him too soon. Why don’t I give him another chance and see what he’s made up of?”

He called for a date and I declined. I wanted us to talk more so we get to know each other than eating at a place where we both won’t agree on anything. After work, he would come around and we’ll talk. His office wasn’t far from mine and both of us waited a little longer for the traffic to die down before going home. I was doing an online course so I used the time to study in the office. Anytime I saw him after work, it was all about how dumb his colleagues are and how they couldn’t do a simple task when he wasn’t around. “Trust me, if I’m not around, nothing gets done. I don’t know how they got employed. I look around and I regret having to work with such colleagues. It’s like the company hires just anybody.”

“Don’t you go on leave? How do they manage it when you’re on leave?” I asked

I was only bringing his attention to the fact that his absence was inevitable and the guys there would handle things just fine in his absence. He started ranting about how he almost always comes back to work when he’s on leave because his boss can’t handle his absence. In the end, he said, “I regret not listening to my mother. Last year, she got an opportunity for me in Silicon Valley and I didn’t take it. You see, I love Ghana and I love seeing my people. I can’t go out there and work in the cold just because of some few dollars.”

I was stunned. “Silicon Valley? And you didn’t take it?” I asked with shock in my eyes.

“Oh, that’s not even the highest opportunity I’ve had. I’ve had an opportunity to work as a developer for Apple. That was three years ago. I had to decline the offer because I was going to base in San Francisco. I don’t like the weather there and I don’t like their working culture. It’s too intense for my liking. Yes, I like to work hard but I also want to take things slowly.”

READ ALSO: My Ex Wants To Share Me With My New Partner

This guy works in a small IT firm no one knows about in Ghana but he had turned down Apple and had turned down a lot of bigger opportunities every IT guy will hop on. I concluded that he wasn’t sane in the head so I would withdraw from him. I tried and he persisted until he broke down my resolve. The only problem now is how close our offices are to each other. When he doesn’t hear from me for some days, the next thing is for him to come to my office to look for me. 

The last time I told him, “You see, I told you I was going to think about your proposal. I have. In fact, you’re one of the guys I admire but unfortunately, I can’t say yes to you because I’m talking to another guy and I seemed to be leaning in his direction. You’re a good guy and I don’t want to cheat on you emotionally. Let’s just be friends. I think that would work for me.”

He was quiet for a while. He breathed in deeply and asked me, “So what does that guy have that I don’t have?” 

“At this point, it’s not about what one has and what the other doesn’t have. It’s about the dictates of my heart and my heart seems to be in favour of that guy. You see, I don’t want to lie to you so take this truth from me and let’s be friends.”

“I know you’ll change your mind when you get to know me very well. I’m a cool guy and you know it. I have a lot of good things coming my way. As we speak, my mom is working on a new deal for me in one of the top organizations in the US. I don’t want to tell you the name of the organization so you get to know how huge this blessing is, but trust me, I’m your best bet. Forget about that guy.”

Every Problem We’ve Had In Our Marriage Had Came From Our Sex Life–Beads Media

When he talks about his love for me he goes sober, almost like a child. I believe him. I know there’s something genuine in there for me but I can’t stand the bragging and I don’t want to bring it to his notice. Two things may happen if I try to pinpoint that to him; it may end up in a long argument or he’ll simply change it for a while just to win me and then go back to his default settings once it’s settled. I don’t want either of them to happen so I’m looking for a nice way to get him off my back. If I don’t pick up his calls today, the next day he would be in my office. I curse the day I showed him where I work, it’s the reason this guy is hanging on to me like the Muslim to his buta.

I don’t want to have a braggart as a boyfriend, nothing will make me do that but how do I get him off my back?  

–Emily

Do you have any relationship experience to share? Email it to [email protected]

NOTE: NO PART OF THIS CONTENT CAN BE REPUBLISHED OR REPRODUCED IN ANY FORM WITHOUT THE EXPLICIT CONSENT OF THE EDITORS OF THIS BLOG

*****