I went to the mall to buy a few things and get something to eat. It was one of those days I needed some alone time. I wanted to take a break from everything and reflect on my life. I did some light shopping and headed to the food court. When I got there I sat down at one of the restaurants and ordered a plate of chips and grilled chicken.
As soon as the food arrived, I dug in and started munching away. That was when I saw her. There were many people at the restaurant I was seated but I felt her presence the moment she walked in. I watched her for a while, to make sure I don’t lose her in the crowd. Fortune smiled at me when she took a seat at a table next to mine. I watched her until she looked in my direction, and then I smiled warmly at her. She looked confused at first but she smiled back at me.
When I finished my food I realized her food had arrived and no one had joined her. I sat there scrolling through my phone and occasionally stealing glances at her. When I realized she has finished her food, I went over to her table to introduce myself. She was warm and receptive, and that made things easier. “I’ve been watching you since you walked in,” I said to her. She didn’t seem surprised “I hate to tell you this but you were so obvious about it. I am sure everyone here has seen you watching me.” I laughed and said, “When you put it that way, it sounds creepy.” She snorted, “Those are your words, not mine.” Our banter flowed into a ceaseless conversation. By the time I left the mall, I had her number saved on my phone.
I called and texted her often. She reciprocated when she could. If she was upset about something I did, she let me know. If she wanted something from me, she asked. It made my friendship with her easy. There was nothing like mood swings, cold treatments, and leaving me to play guessing games. When I felt we had gotten to know each other enough, I expressed interest in her. She said yes. That was the beginning of the journey to where we are now.
My girlfriend works in a reputable institution where she earns good money but that doesn’t stop me from helping her out financially. When we started dating I sent her a monthly allowance of GHC300. Sometimes when my business does well in a particular month, I sent her GHC500 or even GHC700. I buy her airtime almost every day. After all these, if she needs money for something urgent, she will ask me and I help her out.
I am not complaining about doing these things for her, far from it. My problem now is her behaviour when I am not able to do any of these things for her. She ends up acting up and behaving like I owe her. It makes me wonder if she is with me because of love or because of the benefits she gets from me.
A few months ago, she broke her phone. It was an iPhone 8. She told me, “Now that my phone is spoilt you have to buy me a new phone. I don’t want the same model I was using. I want an iPhone XR.” Things have been very slow for me on the business front and I wasn’t in the position to buy her a phone worth GHC3000. I explained my financial situation to her, “I wish I could get you the phone you want but I cannot afford it right now. Why don’t you let me buy you a nice Samsung phone for the time being?”
My girlfriend shook her head and said, “No, I will not use an android phone. I would rather use a yam phone (analogue phone) than use an android. So I went ahead and bought her the “yam” phone. I told her to use it till I could afford to buy her an iPhone XR. She seemed disappointed but she accepted it.
I used the next few weeks to raise some money at the expense of my business and bought her an iPhone X. I knew it wasn’t what she wanted but it was the best I could do. When I gave the phone to her, she took a look at it and frowned; “This phone is too small for me. I specifically told you I want an iPhone XR, please return this small phone and get me what I asked you for.”
It was a day to her birthday and I had planned to surprise her with a cake and dinner at a fancy restaurant. I didn’t have time to return the phone she rejected. Moreover, I didn’t have money to top up and get her the phone she asked for. So I planned to hold on to the phone until I raise enough money to swap it for an iPhone XR.
On her birthday I showed up at her house with the cake I ordered with her name on it. I added a beautiful piece of fabric she could sew a dress with. She took the gifts and didn’t seem impressed. She asked me, “What about the phone?” I explained why it wasn’t ready. She heard my explanation alright but she didn’t seem to accept it. The entire time we were at dinner, she was moody. She spoke to me rudely throughout the night. She tried to pick fights with me at the slightest chance but I did my best to ward off her attempts. At a point, I asked her, “Why am I more invested in you having a happy birthday than you are?” She replied “The only thing that would have made me happy on this day is an iPhone XR. I don’t care about the cake and the fabric, and this dinner. You shouldn’t have gone through the trouble.”
I apologized and told her I’d get her the phone in due time.
When we got home from dinner she was still angry. We spent the night together but her mood was stuck in angry mode. When I tried to touch her, she swatted my hand away like it was a pesky little fly. I left her alone. Just before the morning arrived, I tried again. She screamed at me, “Why are disturbing my sleep? Leave me alone!”
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I apologized and left her alone. It’s been two weeks since that time and she has fought with me at the least chance. She has threatened to leave me on several occasions. My business is not doing well so I couldn’t send her the monthly allowance. I explained things to her, thinking she would be concerned about the decline of my business. She didn’t care. She was bent on picking a fight with me at all costs.
As we speak now, she has given me an ultimatum; “Buy me the phone I asked for and send me my monthly allowance or else I’ll I can’t continue with you. I don’t like a man who doesn’t keep his promises.”
I love her and I’m willing to go out of my way to save the relationship but I don’t feel this is a relationship worth saving. All I do is give and all she does is receive. In our seven months together she has never done anything for me or bought me any gift. I don’t feel loved but I give her all the love I have. I have decided that if all I mean to her is money and gifts then I will let her go. Something in me also tells me that if I stick with her and advise her often, she would see things my way and change. Do you think that’s a good idea? That she’s going to change if I give her enough time? We are only seven months old.
–Roland
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#SB
She doesn’t love you, Roland, so let her go. You are paying for her attention currently, and at a very dear price. I bet she and her friends laugh at you behind your back. You are worth better. Bite the bullet, and let her go. Don’t allow her to leave you, you leave first.
I’ve been in this situation before. She love and like’s you with benefits which you yourself knows is not right that way. Just let go of her. My late dad always told me not marry the one I love but the one who loves me.
This will help you
It’s been just 7 months old yet she has never bought you anything? Someone who truly loves you will go a long way to get you something without it being any special occasion. You do not owe her anything and she’s already threatening to leave you? Please leave her. You need love. You need peace. You need all the things you give her too. There’s no future with her. I’m a girl too and I’ll love to help my guy’s business grow rather than decline especially because of me. Ha! She’s only in for what she gets. You need to be spoilt too my brother. Please sell the phone and work on your business. Its possible to find a girl who’ll make you feel the same way you’re making this girl feel.
Dear please don’t bother or worry yourself in thinking you can make her see reasons. She is taking you and your love for her for granted. You deserve more than she is giving
Hehehehehe my brother why do you see fire and still want to put your hands inside. Someone who can’t compromise and you still want to do what advice her yoooooooo all the best wai
I want but I’m not getting.Someone has and is throwing it away. People receive monthly allowance ??🤭🤔eeei
I hope you know what’s worth saving
She is not in love with you she is a material girl leave her and you will find someone who will understand your situation my brother
My friend infact you trying ooo but this idea of yours is a suicide and help. You are killing you future gradually. A woman who takes more than you can save is not worth fighting for. Be very careful.
It is good the signs are showing early for you to advise yourself
She is not a partner you have to waste your resources on .
Please psyche yourself and gradually take her out of your life!
I’m sorry Roland but this is no longer relationship but friendship of interest. Take a step back and strategies things. She is equally working and can afford an iPhone. Invest such money into your business instead investing it into a woman that will leave when there is no money.
Hmmmm, wanting wanting no get , getting getting no want, hmmm. This life no balance ooo. My advice is you are just investing in her . This is not true love, she is interested in your money. She should rather be concerned about your business but she is being selfish thinking about herself only. Advice yourself.
Bro make u dump her n go 4 another women dat go let u achieve ur aim.
You started to give her money too early, that was a problem, you shouldn’t do that. Now I think you should let her go and in your next relationship, don’t doll out monthly money till she is your wife
Ooooooh Roland why?
Can’t you see that she doesn’t like you,not even to talk of love?Stop following your heart and use your head small.She is not worth the investment you are making on her.Leave her and focus on you business and find someone who loves you
My man. She isn’t gonna change. Try as much as possible to move on. She’ll never appreciate anything you’ll do for her. She’s in because of the benefits, nothing else. I would like to ask you two things.
1. Do you extend the same benefit to your parents?
2. Have you sat down to analyze what’s making your business go down lately?
Ponder over it and you’ll realize that you aren’t helping your soul.
Gather the courage and end this before it kills you.
Why are you forcing yourself man! Just move on
Hmm, it’s clear she is in love with your money and not you yourself, please advise yourself before is too late.
Why will you go into a relationship and start given money to someone who you’re not officially married to or left alone someone who doesn’t even ask how your business is even doing but asking for things she might not even afford to buy for herself. A woman who really loves you will never do want she’s doing. Wise up bro , she’s just using you. Don’t go into another relationship with such act again.
My friend, you deserve better