Yaw is my friend. Well, I believed he was. When he came to tell me, “I have a very good friend who is looking for someone to partner on a project with. His name is Elvis. You will be best for the job so I want to connect you.” I was open to working on the project. I started talking to Elvis and realized he was cool. We only talked about work in the beginning, but as time went on, our conversations hovered around our personal lives.

I didn’t plan it but I found myself getting drawn to him. The more we talked, the more I was pulled into his fire. I couldn’t stop myself from falling in love with him. The excitement I felt every time we talked was something I always looked forward to. He said he felt the same way about me too. “My heart beats erratically when I think about you,” he professed, “you make me feel alive.” It was wonderful to know that I was not the only one who felt all those warm and fuzzy feelings.

In December 2021, I was on the phone with Yaw. “Elvis said we should date,” I told him. I could hear the smiles in his voice when he said, “Oh that’s amazing! Elvis is a good guy. If you like him then give him a chance.” He assured me that Elvis had been single for some time so I had nothing to worry about. After that phone call, I jumped on another call with Elvis. By the time we were done talking, we were officially love birds.

The early stages of the relationship was as intoxicating as sweet wine. We couldn’t get enough of each other. I remember the number of times I spent daydreaming about our wedding day and our lives together as a family. He introduced me to his friends and some of his relatives. They all loved me. His friends especially made me feel like I was one of them. They casually referred to me as “our wife” or “our in-law.” I was sure I had the perfect relationship.

A few months down the line, I was struggling with my place in the relationship. Elvis and I could go for days without talking. No matter how many times I called him, he only chose to talk to me when he was in the mood. If he didn’t want to talk to me for a week, then my calls and texts would be unanswered for that duration.

I made excuses for him. “He is a busy person,” I said all the time. “His work takes so much of his time,” I would repeat to myself. I kept holding on to the relationship even though things were unstable. Whenever he returned from his breaks, he would act as if he never went away; no apologies or explanations for his absence.

At a point, I started noticing there was a particular lady he followed on all his social media pages. He reacts to every post he makes. He comments and sometimes shares her posts. The lady also engages all his posts. There was just something about her that I couldn’t place a finger on. So I went to her profile.

I learned a lot about Elvis from stalking the lady’s social media accounts; Facebook, Instagram, and TikTok. She was very close to Elvis’ sister. I also saw that most of the photos and videos she posted were taken in my boyfriend’s bedroom. She even tagged him in some of the posts.

All his friends, colleagues, and relatives who knew me as his girlfriend were also following this lady. Sometimes they left comments on her post addressing her as “Our wife” and “Mrs.”

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I found out from her pages that she was friends with one of my friends. So I called my friend and asked her if she knew the guy the lady was dating. Innocently, my friend responded, “Oh, she is dating that guy you’ve been posting a lot on your WhatsApp. They’ve been together for years.” I already had my suspicions but hearing the confirmation broke my heart.

I called Yaw immediately. “Yaw, why didn’t tell me Elvis already had a girlfriend when I told you he proposed love to me? You are even friends with the lady. And I thought I was your friend too. What reason did you have to lie to me?” He couldn’t say any tangible thing to me.

I Didn’t Tell Anybody Because I Enjoyed It

From there, I went to meet Elvis to confront him and end everything. He was quiet the entire time. He couldn’t tell me why he lied to me and strung me along for two whole years. I was so hurt and angry but I managed to keep a calm composure. Although I was broken, I was also relieved. All the stress and confusion birthed from holding on to a man who didn’t love me, no longer held me bound. Now that I knew I was being played, I could quietly move on.

The journey has been hard but I am on course. I know that I will be better in time. What I don’t understand is why no one told me anything. All these grown men watched me but didn’t have the courage to tell me I was a side chick. Not even my friend, Yaw. If I was related to any of them, would they have told me the truth then or they would have stuck to the bro code still?

—Pandora

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