I met her on a Thursday evening. It was at an event for high school leavers. She was a friend’s friend and my friend introduced her to me. There, we exchanged pleasantries and also exchanged contacts. I was quite sceptical about sending her a text message so I asked my friend to tell me more about her. However, my friend asked me to find out what I wanted to know from her. So I sent her my first text message. Interestingly, she couldn’t even recall who I was. It was disappointing but we started chatting.

Initially, she wasn’t easily flowing but with time we got along. I wanted to know if she was interested in me so after a few weeks I stopped contacting her. She also didn’t contact me for a week. After that week she texted me, “I miss you.” “I miss you too,” I responded. That night we had a long conversation and I asked her to be my girlfriend. She readily accepted my proposal and we kickstarted our relationship.

The week after our relationship started, I visited her in her home for the very first time. It was a nice visit. I got to meet her siblings and her parents, and they were warm toward me. A few weeks later, I left the country and she filled my thoughts to the brim throughout my journey. We kept in touch all the time during the few weeks I was away. And when I was returning, I didn’t forget to get her some stuff to let her know how much she meant to me.

When our WASSCE results were released, she did well in some subjects but she failed one of her subjects. Because of that, she couldn’t go to university that year. I on the other hand went to university. A year later, she rewrote the paper she failed and also enrolled in school. We were in different schools but we found ways to be together. I would visit her at school on some weekends and she would also visit me at school on certain weekends. Under normal circumstances, the up and down should have been stressful but not in our case. We made it fun.

In her second year, she went to intern with one of these government organizations and that was when things started changing. She met new people. Some of these people introduced certain ideas to her that she didn’t have in the past. For instance, she started entertaining guys who were interested in her. I had to be the one to keep reminding her that she had a boyfriend so she should push those guys away. I succeeded in that regard. But when it came to her boss, nothing I said moved her. She knew the man was interested in so she encouraged his advances. I remember when the man started sending her money. I asked her; “Does your boss send all the interns money?” She answered, “No, this is a repayment of a loan I gave him.” I was surprised. Why would a permanent staff of an organization take a loan from a student on an internship?

At the end of her internship, I heaved a sigh of relief. I thought the fact that they were no longer working together meant whatever might be going on between them would end. Yes, it was a foolish thought, I know that now. They kept in touch. He visited her on campus and took her out to dine at fancy restaurants. I told her several times how their closeness was affecting our relationship but she wouldn’t listen. All she kept saying was, “We are just friends. Can’t two friends go out and eat?” I asked her, “Can you honestly tell me that this guy hasn’t told you he likes you? Why are you latching unto his free lunch as if I don’t take you out?” Even her best friend told me she’d been advising her to stay away from this man, but my girlfriend treated the advice like trash.

One day we had a small argument and she told me; “I am tired of the relationship. I want a breakup.” Before I could say anything she hung up on me. That night I couldn’t sleep. I called her all through the night to apologize to her but she wouldn’t answer. I called her best friend to go check up on her because I was so worried. When her best friend went, she assured me that everything was okay and that I shouldn’t worry. She even said she would plead my case and get Akua to take me back. I didn’t want to leave the fate of our relationship to chance so I went to her hostel the next morning.

She was crying over our breakup when I arrived. I had to console her over a breakup she asked for. I spent seven hours trying to convince her that our relationship shouldn’t have to come to an end, but her mind was made up. She didn’t even see me off when I was leaving her hostel. I was so broken on my journey back to school. Fortunately, by the time I got to school she sent a text telling me, she would visit me the next day. I went to bed excited that everything was going to be okay. When she visited me, we sorted things out and resumed our relationship happily.

A month later, our issues began again. She would pick up fights with me over mundane things. I didn’t want to lose her so I always calmed my temper when that happened. One day a friend of mine who wasn’t close to her called me. She said; “Are you aware your girlfriend is cheating on you?” When I said I didn’t, she said, “Monitor her closely. You will see.” We lived apart so I didn’t know how I was going to monitor her. I decided to confront her instead. My friend had given me the name of a guy. I knew she was friends with him so I asked her, “Are you dating Kwame?” She denied it and said, “You can choose to believe me or not.” As usual, I gave her the benefit of the doubt.

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Later, I was told my girlfriend went to ask Kwame why he went about telling people about their relationship. I confronted her again about the guy and she denied it three times. The fourth time, she only admitted to visiting the guy. That was when I knew that what my friend told me was true. Upon all that, I stayed with her. But two weeks after that incident, she asked for a break. Since then she would not reply to my messages nor answered my calls. Her best friend was candid with me and told me, “Akua is confused because she has a lot of guys knocking on her door.” I was very amazed at how someone I had dated for almost three years would be confused as to whom to choose in such a situation.

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From that day, I knew it was over and I was just waiting for her to confirm it. On the 30th of December 2017, she sent me a long message at dawn telling me the relationship had come to an end and that she wishes me well. I read the message and replied “Okay” and went back to bed. That was the end of us. The next year I saw her in church with another gentleman, she came to say hi and went her way with her newfound love. Occasionally, I saw them but with time she decided to do away with saying hi and I couldn’t have been bothered. I didn’t think I could do without her, especially at the time when her family had come to accept me to be one of them. Today I look back at what she put me through a few years ago and I say, “In all things give thanks to the Lord.” I was sad it ended but now I know that it was best she left. If not, she would have kept playing with my heart whenever someone new came into the picture.

— Dennis

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