I met him one evening when I was on my way home. I was awed by how handsome he looked. And when he spoke to me, it was with such tenderness. “What a gentleman,” I thought, “he is so polite.” “My name is Noah. Can we be friends?” He asked as he took my hand in an introduction. 

Most of the people I call friends are the ones who are already in my space. We are either in church together or we went to school together. Either way, we are from the same country and share the same faith. Noah was quite the opposite. He is from Montreal and doesn’t belong to my faith. The colour of his skin and his accent already announced he wasn’t Nigerian. 

He was kind to me, generous too. He liked to shower me with gifts and pay me nice compliments. Whenever I was alone with him, I felt the world was only the small space we occupied. He had this way of looking at me; it was as if I was the only woman on earth, and he was the last man. 

I spent enough time in his company to fall in love with him before he finally proposed love to me. He said he would marry me. “After we get married, I will take you to my home country,” he promised. He looked like a saint. Nothing about him smelled like a liar. Everything he said tasted sweet and truthful to my eardrums. 

He was constantly in my space when the relationship began. He was so nice to me as well. Half the time I was sure I was floating on some magic air. My heart felt light most of the time. That’s how ecstatic his love made me feel. It was as if the world gained an extra set of colours overnight.

Apart from buying me expensive gifts, Noah took me to beautiful places. He is the one man in my life who gave me a huge sum of money that I didn’t even ask for. He was the only man I ever loved, yet by some cruel twist of fate, he did not love me. 

Don’t get me wrong, there was a time when I was sure he loved me as much as I was crazy about him. All those promises, gifts, trips, money, I thought they meant something. That’s why I was open to us getting intimate. It was an amazing experience, the first time. Sadly, it was after that time he became inconsistent with me. 

I started forcing chats. He would bluetick me for weeks and come back bearing apologies. He was my first love so I overlooked all these things. I refused to leave the relationship and meet someone who would treat me better. I rather chose to stay in hopes that he would change. 

Men came my way but I turned all of them down because of this man. I kept saying he was the one I wanted. “If I can’t have him then no one else will do,” I often said. While I was busy keeping myself for him, he had his eyes on other girls. 

This guy made me feel he was doing me a favour by giving me his attention. I remember when he moved out of his place in my neighbourhood to a new place. He invited me over and I went. It was a fancy neighbourhood. The new apartment was also more sophiscated than his place in my ghetto. I felt small that day. I told myself he would never choose me because I am a ghetto girl who can only dream of getting married to a handsome foreigner. 

That day happened to be the last day I saw him. He started becoming too busy to talk to me. I would call him but he wouldn’t pick up. I tried to give him space but I missed him. I kept looking at his pictures. I knew he was bad for me but my stupid heart didn’t comprehend it. All I wanted to do was be with him, even if I was his number 2 or 3 or 4. 

READ ALSO: We Were Planning Our Marriage When He Mistakenly Got Another Lady Pregnant

Our relationship started in 2018. It became on and off till the last time I saw him. That was a year ago. That is how long it has been since he ghosted me. It was just recently that he decided to reach out to me through Facebook. He sent me a message that read, “Hey babe, I am sorry for the long silence but I had to relocate to Canada for good. I miss you though. Get in touch and let’s talk about my plans to visit you once in a while.” 

When I saw the message I laughed. Gone were the days when I would have been waiting for him however long it took. That’s why he thought I was still waiting. Dude is too late this time around.

What Will Happen If You Do It On The First Date?

I have a new man now. I wasn’t crazy about him when he first proposed but I am growing to love him as time passes. If all things go as planned, we will be married by the end of the year. Imagine if I had sat there waiting for Noah all this while. I wouldn’t have met this amazing man. With him, I don’t have to question if he wants me. He shows me all the time that he does.

I am sharing my story to counsel other ladies who are stuck in situationships. I know it’s painful to walk away but try and let go. There is always someone better out there waiting for you. 

— Helena

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